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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Realistically, is the main purpose of social media to show off?

116 replies

dogmad170 · 14/10/2020 22:57

Just that really.

Recently quit social media as it was severely damaging my mental health as I was constantly comparing myself to others. On reflection I don't really see the point in it all.To me it just seems like its a tool for people to use to show off how rich/forward thinking/ perfect/successful/beautiful they are.

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 14/10/2020 23:00

Yep. It’s a giant popularity contest. Facebook actually started as a “ rate how pretty these girls are” website

SquirtleSquad · 14/10/2020 23:01

I use it primarily to keep my family who live abroad in the loop with our lives. But mine is super private and only visible to 30ish very close family and friends.

Onxob · 14/10/2020 23:05

I find it useful for information/groups. You can choose what you see and I have it set up so I only see these groups and pages related to my work that are helpful to me. You can ignore the fluff and not get sucked in if you so choose. Instagram is particularly cringeworthy for showing off and vacuous nonsense so I stopped that one altogether but SM has its uses if you're able to control your use, which admittedly isn't always easy.

ToastyCrumpet · 14/10/2020 23:06

I use it to talk to people who are interested in the same things that I am.

WatchTooMuchBelowDeck · 14/10/2020 23:10

I use Facebook to keep in touch with family and friends and for all the kids' clubs and classes, local groups and shops etc. I don't post very much, but I don't really see any showing off posts either? Sometimes people post on nice occasions like birthday party, or to say they have a new house or new baby or something but I'm genuinely happy for them. Mine is quite locked down and I don't see people that I don't want to, so maybe that helps.

I don't have Instagram, Twitter or any of the others.

sillyrubberduck · 14/10/2020 23:12

I use Facebook for Springer spaniel boards and love it. Anything apart from springers posts I just scroll through 🤣

Sparklesocks · 14/10/2020 23:13

I guess it depends how you use it and who you follow. I’ve found it really useful for keeping in touch with friends/family, especially over lockdown. It’s been really nice to see what they’re up to even if it’s just trivial things like my brother’s Airbnb holiday or my uni friend’s house renovation progress.

caughtalightsneeze · 14/10/2020 23:13

It's whatever you want it to be.

I use Facebook mostly for things like checking out the most up to date menus for restaurants and sharing the occasional stupid joke or sharing a news item I think my friends might be interested in.

It can be a tool for showing off if that's how you want to use it. But that's not how everyone uses it. Most of my friends are on the same wavelength as I am and use it in a similar way.

Superfoodie123 · 14/10/2020 23:20

Some of us use it for groups etc but some friends of mine particularly on Instagram use it to advertise their every outing or document every moment of their holiday. Or show photos of them looking amazing even though they've heavily touched them up. But yes mostly I agree with you its a show off platform

N0tthe0nlyfruit · 14/10/2020 23:23

No way! I use it to run different pages on hobbies, discuss those with others. Love it for keeping in touch with friends, gathering inspiration for design, and sharing baking/hair fails, so the opposite really.

PeterPansShadow · 14/10/2020 23:24

Generally speaking probably yes.

Although I use it just to look at funny memes tbh.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 14/10/2020 23:32

It can Bea vehicle for showing off, but for me, it is one of my main forms of social contact with friends. Even before lockdown, I was a bit hermit-like, so I really value the opportunity that social media gives me to be - well - social.

sunsalutations · 14/10/2020 23:33

I do like Facebook. I don't live in the area I grew up in, my relatives live all over the place and so do my Uni friends. I keep up with my hobby in groups and like seeing what my friends are up to. Mind you, I don't particularly have show-offy friends.
I have to shut out the politics, but apart from that, I thinks it's great. Use it to your advantage. I have snoozed people who get on my nerves too, but that's ok because they don't know and I still like them IRL. Grin

lljkk · 14/10/2020 23:34

Not me. I don't show off or have interest in show-offs
Eye opening that people feel like OP

I wonder what your feed looks like compared to mine...

FBk: I use to keep in touch with family, I like learning their news. Also some laughs.
Twitter: lots of news about many things, especially breaking news. I use for work especially
Instagram: pretty pictures
TikTok: laughs

SchrodingersImmigrant · 14/10/2020 23:41

YABU and YANBU at the same time.

Social media are pretty much what you make of it. For some it's about showing off and comparing etc. For some it's sharing and for others it's information and fun source.

I don't follow people I don't genuinely like and I don't let anyone I don't genuinely like follow me. I post probably once a month or so, however I communicated through it a lot with my family and friends as we are spread out in number of countries.

I also like my feed because it's full of art (galleries, illustrators, local artists), history (museums, national trust), local businesses, nature (some amazing wildlife photographers on Instagram!) and gardening. Happy place😁
I am not afraid to refuse follow/friend requests, unfollow people nor am I afraid to say no to invites for groups. I control what shows on my sm so it's very relaxing space for me.

How can pics like this not make someone's day better😂

Realistically, is the main purpose of social media to show off?
grassisjeweled · 14/10/2020 23:43

A lot of it does seem like shameless bragging, yes

Costacoffeeplease · 14/10/2020 23:46

Your fb is what you choose to follow/befriend. I use mine for local and national/international news mostly, and to keep in touch with friends and family overseas, that’s it

familychallenge · 14/10/2020 23:57

I heard a saying that when you compare how you feel to other people's social media you are comparing your insides with others' outsides. It does vary across platforms as to how bad it is but we all curate what we share to a certain extent so you have to be a bit cynical about it.

However as others have said for me it's a really useful social tool- it lets me keep up with a lot of people around the world and find groups where I share interests. Many of my friends do share their struggles as well as their victories. But it's all still the face we choose to present to the outside world. Take it with a pinch of salt and understand what it is

cabotstove · 15/10/2020 00:03

I think people can use it for other things, staying in touch with family & interests/hobbies etc but a lot of people use it to boast &/or for likes. When did that become a "good" thing? I'm in my 30s & barely use it (immigrant parents so all family abroad) my younger cousins take photos of themselves half dressed doing duck face & posing with their shopping hauls. I despair!

Porcupineinwaiting · 15/10/2020 00:04

YABU It is clearly to bore other people with the pointless minuate of your life and to share every fleeting thought that passes through your mind. Photos from six years ago are also good.

cabotstove · 15/10/2020 00:05

My pet hate though is the to "my darling wife/husband etc...." what's wrong with saying it in person & the couples who tend to go in for the huge displays of affection often are the least happy ime.

TableFlowerss · 15/10/2020 00:12

For a lot of people yes I think so. I came off it a few months back as I found I was wasting so much time on looking at other folks perfect life that I knew actually wasn’t perfect and it was just a load of bull shit really.

Colleagues slagging each other off then loving each other’s posts and commenting how gorgeous they look...

People arguing about Brexit....

Same about covid....

And Sandra putting up pics of her an Bryan and how in love they are- when really she found out Bryan had been getting his end away with the barmaid last week....

I just thought I can’t be arsed with this shight

BackforGood · 15/10/2020 00:46

Odd, once again how the vote is so different from the comments.

I agree with those saying 'depends how you use it' .
You do realise you choose who to follow or who to be 'friends' with, don't you ? Hmm
So, for me, no, people I am friends with it isn't used for showing off at all, but for staying in touch - with family, friends, groups I am part of, news updates, traffic updates, places I like to go, things I like to attend, things I like to learn, etc. It is an incredibly useful communication tool. In fact, it is even useful in creating communities and friendship groups and support systems

Seafog · 15/10/2020 01:06

I use it for business, as I sell across a lot of different groups (plants, pyrex, childrens
books, sea glass and 2nd hand clothes) as well as for keeping up with family and friends around the globe.
I also use it to share recipes, following news, funny jokes, interesting articles and occasionally family pictures and vacation shots.
I only have actual friends on fb so I cheer them on when I see their happiness and things going well for them, and try and help when things aren't.
I have Insta for selling, although even that I dont use as much these days.

I dont do Twitter, or Tiktok or others because it would just be replicating most of the feed I already see, and I dont have time for it really.

dayslikethese1 · 15/10/2020 02:32

I think it depends how you use it. Do your friends like to show off OP?

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