Realistically, is the main purpose of social media to show off?

[dogmad170]

Just that really.

Recently quit social media as it was severely damaging my mental health as I was constantly comparing myself to others. On reflection I don't really see the point in it all.To me it just seems like its a tool for people to use to show off how rich/forward thinking/ perfect/successful/beautiful they are.

Yes I think anything that’s put on their is pretty much showing off

What’s worrying though is some people prioritise their virtual life over their real life

For some people, yes.

I use it to connect with other writers, to sort problems (Twitter is great for this), to keep up friends, work has a group on Facebook.

So for me I'd say it's more about communication than showing off.

Some people use it for other reasons such as keeping in touch with relatives or friends who live far away and I imagine it certainly helped lots of people during lockdown. Ultimately though, yes it’s a tool to show off how amazing your life is when it usually probably isn’t.

If you watched the recent Netflix documentary about the evil husband who killed his wife and daughters that’s evidence of it right there. She posted constantly on Facebook about how amazing their life was, her husband was cheating on her and eventually murdered her so...

It's the internet, and as they say in internetland: YMMV

Is it showing off if you visit your friend and she gets a dress out and says "i got this for my sister's wedding, what do you think?" do you immediately get jealous or judgy about how revealing it is or that she's showing off? SM is a similar thing but with a bigger audience. You don't have to be part of that audience.

I follow some great instagram accounts with beautiful photos. And the #SmashThePatriarchy hashtag (and a few others). I don't often get recommendations for influencers, and if i do i am perfectly free to ignore them.

Twitter - well it's certainly interesting in places. Shit in others and so on and so on.

SM is one of those things where you get as much out of it as you want.

Yes, it appears that way.

Also for executive business directors aka MLM bots to sell various crap and recruit others or run raffles of their products giving a prize worth £20 whilst sharing/bombarding their friends and family with pleads to buy a ticket/numerous...

I think it probably depends on how you use it/which kinds of sites you use. Me and my friends mostly use it to keep in touch when you don’t get to see each other often. I don’t use Instagram which feels very fake to me.

It depends on how you use it.
I have FB but I only use it for a couple of groups that I'm in. I don't have my picture on it, nor friends and I never post anything on my page.
It's also locked down and I have no personal information on it.
I don't have Instagram, Twitter, WhatsApp or any other similar platforms.
My boss tried to get me to join WhatsApp to participate in a group chat. I told him to phone me with any relevant information instead.
I don't understand people posting stuff for ' likes ' they must be very insecure with sad lives.

I voted YANBU because I see a lot of cases where people post a lot about their dream lives (travel, big houses, cars) but it reminds me of that show MTV cribs where rappers would rent out big houses to evidence their life successes. Except for Redman. (Thank you Redman)

On the one hand, I can see how if you post something, you feel like you exist, that perhaps x event did in fact happen to you. But on the other hand, I always think of the people who did not get to have x or go to x. It's difficult to filter your post to ensure people who have sensitivities do not see your posts.

In addition, it's your life and you can chose to post whatever you want. i wouldn't want people to stop doing that.

the main purpose of social media is to bitch about people you pretend are your "friends" behind their back.

I can't bear the performative stuff I see on Insta/FB - usually from people who aren't actually my friends. But I also can't bear the fridge magnet stuff either, and some (lovely) friends do seem surprisingly inclined towards it. So I'm self-limiting on there.

I'm in a weird situation where in order to grow my artsy 'business' I'd have to be very rigorous about posting a certain kind of lifestyle stuff on Insta, and I can't quite bring myself to be that brutal/manipulative/faux 'authentic'. I'm trying to work out a way to be authentically authentic on there, but still make people want to buy my stuff.

I follow a lot of gender critical accounts on Twitter but I have had to dial that right back because it makes me feel depressed and powerless (both of which I broadly am .

It can be good. I like youtube for booktube and art videos, I like insta for art but I'm not on facebook or twitter and I don't really follow lifestyle influancers, if I am interested in something specifically I might watch a video about a skincare item or electrical item but i take it all with a pinch of salt and i don't post myself. I tailor my use to suit myself and don't get sucked into comparison.

... and the very very worst stuff is the inauthentically authentic 'no-filter motherhood' stuff I think.

I mostly quit a while back - I still have an account which I need for a couple of groups, but no longer post.

One issue that nudged me into stepping back was a very serious health problem. I realised I no longer wanted to post fluffy "isn't everything lovely?" stuff, or even just business as usual stuff, as that felt like a charade. Nor did I want to go into the ins and outs of my health problems, as it didn't really seem appropriate in terms of maintaining a degree of privacy, and also not wanting to force it on people or generate some sort of pity party. It made the whole SM experience seem a bit hollow.

Twitter is the platform where you tell the truth to strangers; Facebook is the platform where you lie to you friends.

At least, that used to be the case before Twitter became quite such the toxic, vociferously aggressive echo chamber it is now.

I barely touch Facebook anymore and rarely if ever post updates. To me it's an address book these days: a quick and easy page where I can easily find and keep in touch with people. I recently dropped a lot of people from my friends list who I don't keep in touch with in this way.

As to the story of how Facebook originated, Ugh. UGH!

It totally depends who you follow, the good thing is you are completely in control.

I have found Facebook is great for organising hobbies/ groups, parenting- I found really good potty training and weaning groups. My Instagram is all about cooking, walks and body positive stuff/ health stuff.

I don’t have many people on my Facebook who are the boasty type, I actually like seeing pictures of holidays and friends days out. It gives me ideas of things we can do!

NB. I don't do Insta.

Hmmm... my Insta today is

DS on bike (DH posted)
waitrose ad
Elderly Aunt with relatives on a sofa -- they look happy, & ordinary
Friend's pretty Halloween pumpkin
baby clothes ad
Friend's mushroom dish she cooked
insurance ad
eyelash ad from cousin's business
old coworker recommending a book
eyelash ad from cousin's business
cycling clothes (first remotely appropriate ad)
old coworker recommending another book
old coworker posting a funny
eyelash ad from cousin's business
trainer ad
eyelash ad from cousin's business x 3
Asda ad
more ads...

Does it amount to "showing off" to say you like your family, cooking, carving pumpkins or reading books? Think I had better mute cousin's business, though!

I use it mainly to follow small local businesses (eg if my childs activity is cancelled, its announced on their facebook page first) and find out what local events are coming up (I follow a lot of food pop up stalls and it's good to see where they are)

Oh I buy and sell a lot of stuff on Facebook as well

YABU
@dogmad170, SM is simply a tool; how it's used it entirely up to you. So if you find your feed is full of show offs/perfect people etc, then don't follow them, follow someone or something else. My FB feed is full of wildlife hospitals, funny stuff (like APLIN, Daily Mash, Take A Shite, Crap Wildlife Photography), and local info sites. My Twitter feed is full of people who share my profession (but have more experience so I learn from them), and silly stuff, and Instagram is full of photos of the great outdoors. It's what you make it.

Does it amount to "showing off" to say you like your family, cooking, carving pumpkins or reading books?

I guess yes, because you know, not everyone has a bike to ride on, or a sofa to sit on. A pumpkin? How crass to rub having a pumpkin in other people's faces. A book! That assume most people can read. Rude. Another book! How middle class.

(Disclaimer, I have no idea what is and isn't middle class😂)

On a serious note, obviously some people will be showing off and pretending things are better, but I do assume that lots of the "everyone's just showing of and boasting" comes from the viewer's issues rather than actual showing off. Especially since the control is really in the viewers hands.
If you don't like someone, seeing them having more than you do, can make you bitter, I guess...

@dogmad170

Just that really.

Recently quit social media as it was severely damaging my mental health as I was constantly comparing myself to others. On reflection I don't really see the point in it all.To me it just seems like its a tool for people to use to show off how rich/forward thinking/ perfect/successful/beautiful they are.

I honestly think that the avalanche of mental health problems relates directly to the rise of social media. People have always been nasty to each other and about people, social media just makes it easier and more widespread.

It is not the fault of facebook that your friends are dull and you have low self confidence.

It's a tool for people to use how they like.

I've never got into an argument on FB.
I constantly trim my list, I've had it for more than 13 years when I was in my early 20s and my desk mate from primary seemed like someone I should have on there. I definitely don't see the point now.

There are a few people in it I don't particularly care about, but that also means I don't care about the good,bad,ugly or bragging.

The people I do care about I'm more than happy to see them happy,having good things happen to them,holiday snaps etc.

I have instagram and Twitter,but don't use them.

Tbh Mumsnet is the one form of social media i use the most,I'm most active on and the one I argue on.

Most of it is but it doesn’t have to be, there are many different ways you can use it. You don’t have to show off, or follow people who do.

I am ‘friends’ with my family and real life friends on there, to be polite, but I have mostly unfollowed them as too much show offy boring stuff. Instead I use it to join groups about things I’m interested in: creative writing; home education; rock climbing, gardening etc. I have turned complete strangers online into real life friends that I would never have met otherwise. Also an unknown distant relative got in touch over social media to ask about family history, we had lots of interesting info for each other. My friend uses it to find groups who share her ‘alternative’ interests. It can be very pleasant to find people who share your interests. But yeah you don’t wanna be staring at photos of someone’s posh lunch / holiday. Unfollow those guys.