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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my job and have a second “maternity leave”?

77 replies

Emlovesgin · 13/10/2020 19:30

I had my first baby 4 weeks before lockdown.

I’m due back to work in January. I’m really considering not going back and taking another year off.

I just feel like I’ve missed out on so much with my baby due to Covid.

Obviously we’ve had so much lovely time at home together, but there was so much we had planned to do during my maternity leave which we haven’t been able to do.

There’s still family who haven’t been able to meet her. We’ve had to cancel a holiday we had booked.

I fall into the vulnerable category, I’m 32, BMI of 37 and I have asthma.

I don’t feel comfortable going to the baby classes that are recently open because I’m too worried about becoming severely ill.

I’m so hoping that things will improve by next year and it will mean I’m able to enjoy time with my daughter and husband without all of these awful restrictions in place and the fear of Covid.

Financially we can afford for me not to go back to work for a year.

Would I be stupid to give up my job?

OP posts:
lockdownalli · 13/10/2020 19:31

Well yes because things may not be much different next year........What makes you think they will be?

Amijustagrump · 13/10/2020 19:32

Well can you afford more than 1 year off? What if you can't get another job or want another baby in the coming years? We are about to experience mass unemployment and you need to factor that in.

LIZS · 13/10/2020 19:33

With unemployment high and further redundancies and business failures likely, how confident are you of finding another job? Things may well not change. Is going back pt an option?

Original poster
Emlovesgin · 13/10/2020 19:33

@lockdownalli

Well yes because things may not be much different next year........What makes you think they will be?
@lockdownalli

A vaccine? Effective treatments?

We have to have some hope!

OP posts:
Bubblesbubblesmybubbles · 13/10/2020 19:34

I'm thinking of having a sabbatical in a few years when it's all over for similar reasons to you but I am low risk and I WFH a lot

Original poster
Emlovesgin · 13/10/2020 19:35

@LIZS

With unemployment high and further redundancies and business failures likely, how confident are you of finding another job? Things may well not change. Is going back pt an option?
@LIZS

Going back is an option but it would have to be 5 days a week. I requested 4 but it was turned down based on business needs.

OP posts:
MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 13/10/2020 19:36

You should do it if you want to but don't use "vulnerable" as a way to talk yourself round if you think its a stupid decision. Your bmi is high but not above 40 which is the level that the NHS says puts you at moderate risk, along with the asthma. You don't need to be scared to go ojt as if you were shielding or anything.
You want to take an extra year to spend more time with your child. Do it because you want to.

peboh · 13/10/2020 19:36

Honestly, given the currently economical climate I wouldn't risk a job. Things won't be better straight away into the new year, if they get better at all during the year. What would happen if your husband lost his job tomorrow and you'd resigned? Do you have savings, would you be able to find a job straight away? I'd hold out on any big decisions until after covid has started to fade away (as much as it can anyway)

user128472578267 · 13/10/2020 19:38

Everybody has missed out. Life is not some guaranteed fairy tale where you get a refund if it's not fun enough.

You are going to have a lifetime to fill with lovely stuff, you don't need to pack your job in to achieve that.

Twigletfairy · 13/10/2020 19:38

I don't think things are going to be hugely different next year.

If you've had a nice time I'm not sure what exactly you think you've missed out on that you'll get to do next year? I say that as someone who has recently gone back to work after maternity leave

GreenGoldRed · 13/10/2020 19:39

Are you thinking of having another baby? If you are thinking of having another one in next year or two. Id go back. Get your maternity pay and hopefully by then things will be better and you can really enjoy mat leave number 2.

ancientgran · 13/10/2020 19:39

Have you had any enhanced maternity pay you will have to repay if you don't go back? I had to go back for 3 months when my youngest was born as I just didn't have the money to repay them. If you do think about your leave entitlement, if it ends on 31st December it might be better to go back to work earlier then use your holiday to cover some of the time you have to return to work (they count annual leave as being back at work) you can also get some reduced days over Christmas and New Year.

If you can afford it then I'd say go for it if it is what you want to do. Good luck.

lockdownalli · 13/10/2020 19:42

OP I think you are meant to hope for the best and prepare for the worst, not the other way round Grin

You can take a career break at any time, I wouldn't risk it myself right now.

FunDragon · 13/10/2020 19:43

Well obviously it’s entirely your decision. But if it were me, I would have two concerns:

  1. As PP have said, mass unemployment. You say you can afford a year off work - how confident are you that your partner will hold onto his job and that you will be able to find a new job when you want to? I wouldn’t do it unless I could afford a lot more than a year off work - and had enough savings to keep us afloat if my husband lost his job.
  2. The probability that things will be back to normal by January is slim. Not impossible but slim. The most optimistic timing for a vaccine (that I’ve seen, others may know better) is late spring/summer 2021. So you’d probably be condemning yourself to 6 months more of the maternity leave you feel you haven’t enjoyed. I would have thought you’d be better off going back in January, then resigning when a vaccine or cure is developed.
SleepingStandingUp · 13/10/2020 19:45

Can you afford to not go back at all? Can you afford to go back on a reduced salary? They're two distinct possibilities.
What happens if the next year is also crap?

I do feel for you, my twins came Dec. By the time I'd recovered from the C Sec and managed to get out the house it was March...

lioncitygirl · 13/10/2020 19:46

Wait and see how it looks next year. There might not be a vaccine yet.

Florencex · 13/10/2020 19:47

You are not “vulnerable”. A BMI and asthma does not make you vulnerable. But if you want an extra year off and can afford it, plus afford any extended time off whilst you job hunt in a years time, then why not.

Di11y · 13/10/2020 19:48

I would go back to work but seriously look for a part time job and plan to take time off perhaps when a toddler and things definitely over.

There's no chance things will be worth being off for by Jan, June maybe but no guarantee.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 13/10/2020 19:51

I would 100% base my decision on whether you want another baby or not and when. If you take a year off, take a while to find another job, then have two years or so till mat pay kicks back in, that's you looking at at least 3.5 years if all goes to plan.

If you feel you have completed your family and can afford not to work and - crucially - not to work for a bit longer than you think you want off, then I'd go for it. Life is too short.

BabyLlamaZen · 13/10/2020 19:55

If you can do it then I would op. It's OK to take time off with your nany whatever the reasons and you've stated various valid ones anyway.

Mumsnet doesn't like women staying at home, so you may not get the answers you're looking for here! Funny really as if you were a man you'd probably be applauded. 🤷‍♀️

I am in a similar situation. One thing I would say is be prepared to be off for more than a year. The job market is horrendous. If that isn't an option, I'd go as part time as you can.

BabyLlamaZen · 13/10/2020 19:55

*baby not nany

SunniCameHomeWithAVengeance · 13/10/2020 19:56

I wouldn't give up a job with no certainty of another.

BabyLlamaZen · 13/10/2020 19:57

@Florencex

You are not “vulnerable”. A BMI and asthma does not make you vulnerable. But if you want an extra year off and can afford it, plus afford any extended time off whilst you job hunt in a years time, then why not.
Hmm We are all vulnerable. Op is more vulnerable than most. No she isn't 'shielding category' but so what? What was your point in that goady post?
Crayolo · 13/10/2020 19:57

Can you take extended maternity leave, or would it be leaving your job?

Ylvamoon · 13/10/2020 20:00

Don't give up your job! Next year might be just as bad as this... so go to work and look into "PARENTAL LEAVE" for a time when things have massively improved. 😉