I don’t know how to feel about what just happened

[gingermornings]

Name changed for this.

I’m probably just being silly but I’m feeling conflicted about what just happened.

I’ve been with my partner for two years and we have a baby. I’ve always had a high sex drive and we’ve always had a good sex life. I’ve never said no.

I was in the mood but then our DS woke up for a bottle and after that I felt sort of tired.

He kind of started to do things I normally like and then suddenly took off his boxers. I suddenly felt like an icky feeling and didn’t want to have sex anymore. I said to him it didn’t feel natural and didn’t want to do it. He kept saying come on, come on, come on every time I said I didn’t want to. And then he started again doing things that I normally like, I tried to get into it but it just didn’t feel right so I said no again. He kept trying and eventually I started to get turned on so we had sex and it was okay.

I’m probably just overreacting but I’ve never been in a position where I’ve said no before and I feel if he’d accepted it the first time maybe we wouldn’t have had sex.

Am I just overreacting?

@Generalblah Rape is just excessive. He was trying his lukc and got it.

he pushed and pushed until she relented. When you push someone into sex they clearly DO NOT want, they haven't consented.

I'll look it up soon, but I am pretty sure "sex" without consent is actually rape.

Perhaps you could have been sterner. Nice victim blaming.

Why are you excusing this man?? He pestered and pestered after her clear NO... several of them in fact!

He doesn't need "talking to"... men KNOW what consent is, it isn't complicated. NO is NOT consent.

@BillywilliamV But she did get turned on, she did stop saying no!

SHE RELENTED. Relenting isn't consenting. When you pester someone into sex, you don't have consent. Last time I looked "sex" without consent is rape.

Again, equally you would say she fawned. Whereby her body and mind gave in to appease her attacker. Because that is what he is, an attacker. When someone repeatedly assaults you while you say NO it's an attack!!

Fucking hell. It's ok to pressure someone into sex, is it? Because that's not rape? Not rape? Coerced is rape. If you don't want to do it and you have to, it's rape. Not rape-light. It's someone accessing your fucking body when you don't want them to. The reason women are oppressed is that so many of us buy into the mindset of our oppressors. We stand with them, not with other women.
I was ok with the term 'coerced' upthread but the number of rape-apologists here is shocking.

Note, I haven't called anyone 'disgusting'.

you could say, not would

This is the oddest thread. Grown women arguing over whether it is ok to pressure someone into having sexual intercourse

Of course it's not ok. The minute OP said she did not want to he should have fucking well listened.

Perhaps you could have been sterner…Was you very serious and stern in saying no?)

How 'stern' EXACTLY must a person be when saying 'no I don't feel like sex'?

Seriously, you are very fucked up.

I have reported this post since the OP is getting so much victim blaming and misogynistic advice - please can others do the same

Reported. Saying no means no, no matter how 'harshly' it's said. I'm horrified by some responses here.

Is there a way to tag moderators? I'm very concerned that this post has been left up; it's no wonder the OP hasn't come back given these awfuly apathetic and ignorant responses.