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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I’m not the tea bitch?

685 replies

Ribrabrob · 11/10/2020 21:46

Recently started a new job. Fairly basic administration job, although fairly well paid for the role. It’s just a temporary maternity cover role. Not really a job I enjoy or want to do but was rather desperate so took the job.

The job is okay and the people are fine, mostly quite nice. I work closely with the manger in a tiny office, the owner is based in an office nearby but regularly pops in. From the start it’s been made very clear that making tea/coffee for them both is very important Hmm in fact in my first interview I asked what was the most helpful thing the previous post holder did for the manager. The manager answered ‘oh it’s so helpful when she gets my drink for me’. I remember laughing thinking it was a joke but it wasn’t Grin

Hints are regularly made about having a drink, at least twice before I get the hint and then I’ll offer. If I don’t offer she’ll then ask outright but always after hunting. It’s annoying, i would rather she just ask. Other people also make little remarks when they visit the office that she (manager) doesn’t seem to drink as much as when the other post holder was here! It’s so weird.

I don’t drink many hot drinks myself, usually just one in the morning and occasionally another later on so it doesn’t always enter my head to make one 🤷‍♀️ But of course I do offer when I am making.

The other day the owner was due in in about half an hour. Manager asked me to have a chat quickly and took ten minutes explaining to me how he’d like his tea and to try and have one ready for him.

Aibu to be annoyed by this or is it just a part of a basic admin role? Aibu to think I’m not the tea bitch?! Aibu to think how I make the tea really isn’t that important? I’ve worked in offices before and the CEO’s would always make drinks like everybody else!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
museumsandgalleries666 · 12/10/2020 09:29

I've taken all kinds of crap from all kinds of idiots over the years working in offices, including having to make tea. One boss had me turn on her computer before she got in so she wouldn't have to wait for it to warm up :-); another would send me out for his sandwich and banana and carefully / ostentatiously check the receipt and change (from £5); the world is full of cunts like this. Unfortunately there are only two solutions. 1. Leave the job. 2. suck it up. If having to make tea is the worst thing that happens you're very lucky indeed.

IntermittentParps · 12/10/2020 09:30

flaviaritt, deliberately not having tea and then going on about how thirsty you are when your staff member arrives is hardly good management and I'd have no respect for a boss who behaved like that.
If she so desperately wants her morning tea made for her she could go to a cafe, or change the OP's start time so she's there to do it. Currently she's being pass-agg and pathetic and the response I suggested above is completely valid. And not a sackable offence Grin

unlikelytobe · 12/10/2020 09:31

I think if you need this job for now and may want a reference from it you will have to put up with this nonsense. They obviously expect it of you and have got into these old-fashioned habits. A 10 min chat explaining how they want the tea made and when?? They are quite clear it's a part of your role. No point doing it bad or spitting in the tea unless you want to be sacked. I would be irked by the hinting and maybe you should suggest a timetable for beverages so you know where you are - tea first thing, 10, 12, 2.....LOL.

flaviaritt · 12/10/2020 09:32

IntermittentParps

She’s been hired to make the tea and do admin. If she can’t take direction from her manager because she thinks (as you do) her boss is pathetic and should do things the way her admin temp thinks is best, they’d be completely reasonable to sack her. 🤷🏻‍♀️

HibiscusNell · 12/10/2020 09:33

I’d not bother with the PA (passive aggressive) shite and I’d talk to her. Personally I’d say I’d prefer not to make other people drinks but I wouldn’t mind if I were making my own. I’d also say they I didn’t like the hinting and would prefer to be asked outright.

Not as entertaining as some of the suggestions but more reasonable.

byvirtue · 12/10/2020 09:33

Sorry but you need to suck it up. It makes far more sense for someone being paid £9 ph than £90 ph (for example) to make the tea.

I had to take a job I was vastly over qualified for and part of my unofficial duties was to make tea for senior staff, tbh it was a welcome break from my moronic boss.

flaviaritt · 12/10/2020 09:34

“ Personally I’d say I’d prefer not to make other people drinks but I wouldn’t mind if I were making my own.”

But they told her when she was hired. It’s like your cleaner saying they prefer not cleaning other people’s houses. Don’t, then, but you won’t get paid!

IntermittentParps · 12/10/2020 09:34

She’s been hired to make the tea and do admin. If she can’t take direction from her manager…
The thing is though she CAN 'take direction' and make tea.
But only when she's in the office.
Do you think she should somehow magically make tea remotely so her manager can have her first cup before the OP's start time?

NoMoreMrNiceGaius · 12/10/2020 09:34

Yes it's annoying but it does sound like they were honest about their expectations from the beginning in the interview. I can think of so much worse jobs and especially right now with Covid I would love to have a job where a big part of it was making tea all day!

flaviaritt · 12/10/2020 09:35

“ Do you think she should somehow magically make tea remotely so her manager can have her first cup before the OP's start time?”

Obviously not. I think she should make it when she gets there.

IntermittentParps · 12/10/2020 09:37

Not to mention, actually it's not that clear whether making tea IS one of her official roles. In the first interview she was told it was 'so helpful' to be made a drink; not that that was part of the actual job.
And the manager 'hints' that she wants tea. Is hinting, in your opinion, a usual or effective way of managers requesting things of their staff?

NoMoreMrNiceGaius · 12/10/2020 09:37

Also it does make perfect sense for the person with less pressing responsibilities to make the drinks, regardless of the gender. My DHs assistant makes him tea regularly because he is in meetings back to back all day and barely has even time to go to the toilet let alone take a break.

IntermittentParps · 12/10/2020 09:37

Obviously not. I think she should make it when she gets there.
Do you think the manager is behaving well or sensibly in not having tea beforehand and then going on about how thirsty she is when the OP arrives?

dottiedodah · 12/10/2020 09:39

If its just a temporary position then why worry? As others said take your time.(Maybe a scroll on your phone while waiting for kettle to boil!) As long as you are getting paid for it ,no big deal IMO .

flaviaritt · 12/10/2020 09:39

“ Do you think the manager is behaving well or sensibly in not having tea beforehand and then going on about how thirsty she is when the OP arrives?”

No, but I don’t think that’s the point here. The OP is a junior temp. It’s not really her role to decide whether her manager is being “sensible” or tell her when to have her morning cuppa. And if a temp admin member of staff started playing silly beggars about making the tea I’d just hire someone else. Who could be arsed with all this in the office? Not me.

flaviaritt · 12/10/2020 09:40

IntermittentParps

This is getting a bit silly. If the OP doesn’t know whether this is her formal role she should just ask, and if the manager is being vague she should just ask her to be clearer. She either wants tea or she doesn’t, it’s not a big deal.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 12/10/2020 09:43

@JamesTKirkcompatible

Exactly *@m0therofdragons*. I don't think some of the people here understand how time pressured senior roles can be, especially at the moment - private sector you're working all hours to protect everyone's jobs in case the company goes under due to covid, public sector you're working a packed day to run the sector under pandemic conditions. If these senior people want to pay someone to feed and water them so they can stay working hard all day, I don't see how the admin person can judge if it's necessary or not? Even if the senior person gives the impression of "swanning about" and not needing the tea, who's to say that those support services don't give them the help they need to stay calm and balanced through a day where they are making hard decisions and can't drop the ball even for a second.

The issue about it being a woman's job is different and yes that's unfair. But an admin tea making role sounds a good business decision to me. I think teachers and nurses ought to have a tea making person too, to be honest!

You're forgetting that this is MN, where all employers and senior managers are evil oppressors.
LakieLady · 12/10/2020 09:43

Even our CEO makes his own drinks, which is a bit of a pisser because it kills any kitchen gossip stone dead when he walks in.

I've only once seen a manager ask a junior staff member to make them a drink and I was a bit Shock because it's just not done in the organisation. The person responded that she was too busy, which quite impressed me because the manager in question is fierce and scarey.

I subsequently found out that that manager was the other worker's mother, which perhaps explains why she was happy to say no.

TheLette · 12/10/2020 09:45

Personally I wouldn't have a problem with it. It was made clear to you that this was effectively part of the job. When I was a PA I always offered tea / coffee to those I supported (high-flying lawyers). It wasn't part of the job or expected but I wanted to. They usually gratefully accepted because they have stressful, time-consuming jobs. I'm now the lawyer but sadly PAs never offer to make me tea! I'd love it if they did at busy times (in normal office times of course!).

m00rfarm · 12/10/2020 09:48

It is far more time effective for one person to make tea - I really cannot see the problem. I am guessing each of the people now asking for tea went through the same process when they were working at the lowest level. If you are too busy to make the tea, that is fine. But that is not what you said. I truly cannot believe some of the comments about making the tea slowly, putting too much milk in etc. Just make the damn tea before you end up with the rest of the unemployed (who I am guessing would be more than happy to be making tea and being paid for it)

IntermittentParps · 12/10/2020 09:48

It was made clear to you that this was effectively part of the job. It really wasn't made clear; and what does 'effectively' mean? It either is or isn't part of the job.

The OP is a junior temp. It’s not really her role to decide whether her manager is being “sensible” or tell her when to have her morning cuppa. No, I know, it's the manager's role to behave like a senior and adult person and not make PA comments about how thirsty she is.

Who could be arsed with all this in the office? Not me. Me either. It's the manager, not the OP, who's making it into a thing by pissing about with hints.

If the OP doesn’t know whether this is her formal role she should just ask, and if the manager is being vague she should just ask her to be clearer.
No, again, it's a manager's role to make clear what the job is.

m00rfarm · 12/10/2020 09:49

Not effective - efficient!

ChristmasCarcass · 12/10/2020 09:50

@AcrossthePond55

I have to admit this rather took me aback. Maybe because I'm not in the UK and things are different there but I'm really surprised that in this day and age anyone expects their 'underlings' to make them tea or coffee. OK, maybe an exception for a really high powered CEO or a celebrity. But not in a 'run of the mill' office.

One of the first things I was told by HR when I was hired for an admin position 40 years + ago was "It is NOT your job to run and fetch coffee for your higher ups. That is NOT what we pay you to do". Now, 40+ years ago I think it may have had as much to do with sexism as anything else as I was young and female and most of the 'higher ups' were male and older.

It’s really not the norm in the UK either. You might offer for your friends, or the people sitting next to you, if you are getting up anyway. But sending somebody who doesn’t really drink tea, on a special trip to make tea for the boss and nobody else, is weird and very 1950s. They’ll be sending OP out to buy anniversary presents for their spouse next.
flaviaritt · 12/10/2020 09:51

IntermittentParps

You sound difficult, tbh.

ChristmasCarcass · 12/10/2020 09:53

Even if the senior person gives the impression of "swanning about" and not needing the tea, who's to say that those support services don't give them the help they need to stay calm and balanced through a day where they are making hard decisions and can't drop the ball even for a second

Oh dear god, this is an office supervisor, not Boris Johnson. They are not so busy making life and death decisions that they can’t pour hot water over a teabag.