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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I’m not the tea bitch?

685 replies

Ribrabrob · 11/10/2020 21:46

Recently started a new job. Fairly basic administration job, although fairly well paid for the role. It’s just a temporary maternity cover role. Not really a job I enjoy or want to do but was rather desperate so took the job.

The job is okay and the people are fine, mostly quite nice. I work closely with the manger in a tiny office, the owner is based in an office nearby but regularly pops in. From the start it’s been made very clear that making tea/coffee for them both is very important Hmm in fact in my first interview I asked what was the most helpful thing the previous post holder did for the manager. The manager answered ‘oh it’s so helpful when she gets my drink for me’. I remember laughing thinking it was a joke but it wasn’t Grin

Hints are regularly made about having a drink, at least twice before I get the hint and then I’ll offer. If I don’t offer she’ll then ask outright but always after hunting. It’s annoying, i would rather she just ask. Other people also make little remarks when they visit the office that she (manager) doesn’t seem to drink as much as when the other post holder was here! It’s so weird.

I don’t drink many hot drinks myself, usually just one in the morning and occasionally another later on so it doesn’t always enter my head to make one 🤷‍♀️ But of course I do offer when I am making.

The other day the owner was due in in about half an hour. Manager asked me to have a chat quickly and took ten minutes explaining to me how he’d like his tea and to try and have one ready for him.

Aibu to be annoyed by this or is it just a part of a basic admin role? Aibu to think I’m not the tea bitch?! Aibu to think how I make the tea really isn’t that important? I’ve worked in offices before and the CEO’s would always make drinks like everybody else!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
DoTheNextRightThing · 12/10/2020 08:21

In my office, it's pretty much expected that we make tea and coffee for the bosses. In fact I had to be "taught" how to make good coffee because apparently mine was really bad (which I can believe, I don't drink coffee and I never have a reason to make it outside work). I hate it too. I have a massive workload and tea and coffee is just the last thing I have time for, but there we go.

flaviaritt · 12/10/2020 08:22

I’d get it if you had a junior role but the expectation was you were to become more senior - like if you were the most junior marketing assistant or similar. Then it would be unreasonable to expect you to do tea duties on top of your actual job. But this is your actual job. It’s literally what they hired you to do. If you don’t want to do it go and get another job where you aren’t expected to make the tea.

draughtycatflap · 12/10/2020 08:22

Dress up as Mrs Doyle and go in every few minutes with a teapot and harass her. “Ah go on... you will you will you will you will...

AfterSchoolWorry · 12/10/2020 08:24

I want a tea bitch!

evilharpy · 12/10/2020 08:25

I had a very entry level receptionist/secretary job in a small solicitors office back in the early 2000s where making tea for the partners at 10:30 on the dot every day was part of my job. The older partner was only maybe early 40s and all the secretaries had to call him Mr which was quite bizarre. I found it quite demeaning.

Maireas · 12/10/2020 08:29

@AfterSchoolWorry - you wouldn't... Some people on here seem to see it as an opportunity to make disgusting beverages Hmm

changerr · 12/10/2020 08:30

Am mystified by people saying 'make bad tea' etc.

Making tea for the other staff is part of your job. It's been made repeatedly clear that it's an important part of what you are being paid for. End of. Just do it. I've had jobs which are exactly as you describe, complete with the joke about the importance of making tea/coffee at the interview.

DDiva · 12/10/2020 08:31

It quite old fashioned but in alot of ways makes sense for one person to make tea at a set time.

I would understand your annoyance if you were all at the same level but as a temporary junior role it really doesn't see that odd.

DDiva · 12/10/2020 08:33

As for the hinting just make the tea and then they wont need to hint.

FinallyHere · 12/10/2020 08:33

Interview for job where you learn that the most important duty is make tea

Get job

Be surprised that you are expected to make tea.

😆

flaviaritt · 12/10/2020 08:34

It’s also pretty reasonable for people who make money for or run an organisation to choose not to spend half an hour daily in the kitchen making tea. If they want to pay someone to make tea/pick up parcels/answer the door then that’s up to them.

Penners99 · 12/10/2020 08:35

I joined a team once, to do a specific task. Not 10 minutes in, the team leader told me that the new guy makes the tea for the rest of the team.
I just looked at him, said “Nope”, and went back to my work.

He was so shocked, he just left me alone. Never mentioned it again.

purplemunkey · 12/10/2020 08:36

As PPs have said, it’s part of the job and they made that clear. My first two jobs involved making tea/coffee too. I hated it but just got in with it. My next job, and every other one after, it’s not been. In some of those later roles I have got annoyed with whatever tea round culture has developed as I don’t want to make six cups of tea every time I fancy a drink myself. Probably because of my previous experience! I always refuse any offers and just make my own when I want one now.

Trousersareoverrated · 12/10/2020 08:38

This is important to the people who are paying for your time and they have made this clear. If you want a good reference then do it without having to be asked or at the very least take the hints when they are dropped. I really don’t understand why this is a problem?

For the record, I am in a more senior role myself and would never ask anyone else to make my tea and in fact often make it myself for the whole office- it’s part of making myself more approachable and liked in the office which in return leads to harder working staff and staff who are more likely to go the extra mile when deadlines are tight. Your bosses are too short sighted for this but that’s their prerogative.

SoupDragon · 12/10/2020 08:39

@Penners99

I joined a team once, to do a specific task. Not 10 minutes in, the team leader told me that the new guy makes the tea for the rest of the team. I just looked at him, said “Nope”, and went back to my work.

He was so shocked, he just left me alone. Never mentioned it again.

Presumably you were not told about the tea making at the interview though.
IwishIwasyoda · 12/10/2020 08:44

This irritates the piss out of me too. We are not living in the 1950s. What is the point of paying someone to just make tea. Surely the boss can get up off their own arse and make a cuppa if they can spend 10 minutes lecturing you about how they like it.

For all those saying it is OK, and suck it up, does your workplace / boss treat everyone equally when it comes to demanding tea i.e. would they ask a man or male trainee to do it as well. IME they are happy to ask the little ladies to do it but would ask a man of similar grade.

FWIW, I refused to make the tea after a couple of times laughing it off and saying 'oh I'm so dreadful at making tea as I don't drink it. Would you like one of my herbal teas instead?' or 'oh you want me to make tea? Oh OK just thought you might have something more useful for me to do." (and then I would point out something that needed done)
They soon stopped asking and I kept the job

purplemunkey · 12/10/2020 08:44

I suppose if you’re genuinely unclear whether the tea making is actually part of your duties, ask them. If it’s not, then tell them you’re not comfortable doing it.

IwishIwasyoda · 12/10/2020 08:45

Would not ask a man of similar grade

flaviaritt · 12/10/2020 08:46

She’s not a trainee, IwishIwasyoda. She’s been hired to do admin and support the senior staff by making tea. They told her at the door.

Penners99 · 12/10/2020 08:47

Soup,
No, never mentioned.

SoupDragon · 12/10/2020 08:48

What is the point of paying someone to just make tea

They aren't.

MagicSummer · 12/10/2020 08:52

What a lot of fuss! OP, you are a new, junior, temporary employee - you were told tea-making is part of the job. Just do it - and I would go against previous replies and suggest making great tea and coffee - if you are good at that and seen to be making an effort, believe me, it will be noticed!

I had loads of temp jobs between permanent roles - it was nearly always my job to make the tea - look at it this way, you are just making tea instead of doing anything more taxing!!

IwishIwasyoda · 12/10/2020 08:53

@flaviaritt
You misread my post - I am asking if they would ask a man (in the role, or similar grade) to make the tea. II suspect not. IME they are happy to ask women to perform domestic duties in the workplace but not men. I mentioned trainee because a PP said it was always the trainees job to get tea.

nettie434 · 12/10/2020 08:54

Of course it's really unusual to be in an office where people don't make their own tea these days but it really is not that bad. Pre coronavirus, we generally offered to make tea or coffee for other people when we made one for ourselves. It's a chance to get away from the desk and helps create collegiality. Plan the tea-making into your routine and you will find out how much it smooths things between you and your boss.

IwishIwasyoda · 12/10/2020 08:54

And I disagree that OP was told tea making was part of the job. I too would have taken her boss's comments at interview as a joke. surely no one employs someone to make tea????