To think I’m not the tea bitch?

[Ribrabrob]

Recently started a new job. Fairly basic administration job, although fairly well paid for the role. It’s just a temporary maternity cover role. Not really a job I enjoy or want to do but was rather desperate so took the job.

The job is okay and the people are fine, mostly quite nice. I work closely with the manger in a tiny office, the owner is based in an office nearby but regularly pops in. From the start it’s been made very clear that making tea/coffee for them both is very important in fact in my first interview I asked what was the most helpful thing the previous post holder did for the manager. The manager answered ‘oh it’s so helpful when she gets my drink for me’. I remember laughing thinking it was a joke but it wasn’t

Hints are regularly made about having a drink, at least twice before I get the hint and then I’ll offer. If I don’t offer she’ll then ask outright but always after hunting. It’s annoying, i would rather she just ask. Other people also make little remarks when they visit the office that she (manager) doesn’t seem to drink as much as when the other post holder was here! It’s so weird.

I don’t drink many hot drinks myself, usually just one in the morning and occasionally another later on so it doesn’t always enter my head to make one 🤷‍♀️ But of course I do offer when I am making.

The other day the owner was due in in about half an hour. Manager asked me to have a chat quickly and took ten minutes explaining to me how he’d like his tea and to try and have one ready for him.

Aibu to be annoyed by this or is it just a part of a basic admin role? Aibu to think I’m not the tea bitch?! Aibu to think how I make the tea really isn’t that important? I’ve worked in offices before and the CEO’s would always make drinks like everybody else!

But doesn’t explain why you can’t get of your backside and make your own tea every now and again.

because I can afford to pay someone else to do it for me?

Just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

Common decency costs nothing.

I don't find it insulting to be asked, so I don't find it insulting or demeaning to ask someone else either - especially when it's literally part of their role in the first place.

If it’s a two way street with both asking each other than fine. How a modern workplace should be.

Maybe all this will be a moot point soon if we all have to work from home forever.

Part of the role and you are the entry level person, just do it.

But doesn’t explain why you can’t get of your backside and make your own tea every now and again.

I can. But I’m not going to pay someone to do it and then do it myself as well. That would be an irrational decision.

Just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD

That’s a perfectly reasonable opinion. The point at which to exercise it is when the person is explaining the role, not once you’ve been paid for it.

"Who has the higher workload? The other person should do the drinks."

Ha ha. Workload isn't always higher when a person is higher up in the hierarchy so I can never see your idea being implemented in places where it works like that.

"I even worked as a cleaner when I was younger and needed extra cash"

That's totally different. You would have been hired as a cleaner and then you did cleaning.
These days people don't ask their cleaning ladies at home to bring their tea for them because if that was what they wanted they would have advertised for a maid.

These days people don't ask their cleaning ladies at home to bring their tea for them because if that was what they wanted they would have advertised for a maid.

But you agree, if I did hire a cleaner and made it clear at interview that I also wanted them to make me tea/coffee and they seemed happy with that, it wouldn’t be unreasonable?

But you agree, if I did hire a cleaner and made it clear at interview that I also wanted them to make me tea/coffee and they seemed happy with that, it wouldn’t be unreasonable?

Flav, do you honestly think this is ok? I could actually try this for real tomorrow if I was so inclined. I’d be working from home, cleaners would arrive and I could greet them and then say ‘if you don’t mind, I’m really busy but also parched, if you don’t mind I’ll have my tea brought into my office, thanks’, as by some of the arguments here, they are cleaning but also assisting me, so it would be ok to assist me in this way too?

Do you really really think this is reasonable? I could try it tomorrow and report back, but I won’t because I fear I’d lose my valuable cleaner if I did, and feel like a complete arse too.

“I can. But I’m not going to pay someone to do it and then do it myself as well. That would be an irrational decision.”

No. It would be a kind decision. It’s like offering your cleaner a tea or a drink If you’re home while they’re cleaning. Of course you don’t have to. But it’s a NICE thing to do. Why is this an alien concept to some?

"That makes no sense. Sexism is when you expect someone to do something because of their sex, not their position."

And you can't see any connection when we're talking about a job that is 96% filled by women?

They clearly stated at the interview it was part of the job you still decided to take it.
Maybe she's hinting to be polite as she thought you'd be on the ball.
Why not agree times when you'll make drinks so there's no more annoying hints.i.e. Start of the working day,coffee break (obvs)lunch and afternoon tea break.

All the ‘just make it badly’ suggestions in here are nuts

Put a reminder in your calendar for twice a day say at a time that works for you but also eliminates the hinting. Do a quick decent drinks round then get back to efficiently doing your job. If you were desperate or the job then presumably you want to keep it and/or get a good reference so don’t play games. Be organised, listen to what they are hinting at and work hard to be good at all the other parts of your job..the tea thing should become insignificant.

@Sunnymummy77

“Respect is earned not automatic; it comes from doing a job well and with good grace”.

No. Everyone regardless of title or pay deserves respect.

The idea that you can automatically disrespect someone because of their position is utterly toxic.

No, not because of their position because of their behaviour and attitude. As in definition of verb - admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements. "she was respected by everyone she worked with"

Not everyone deserves respect. I fail to respect Farage, Johnson, Yobs who attack others because of their beliefs, people who spit. Lots don’t deserve a huge amount of respect.

I’m not going to keep reiterating a point I’ve made already many times. This gets frustrating after a while! Goodnight, all.

I wouldn't have any respect for a temp who not only doesn't get a hint and has to reminded EVERY SINGLE DAY that she is expected to make the round of tea but has an attitude and think the role is so below her Majesty that she is too grand to do the job she accepted and paid for.

I would employ someone with a better attitude quickly.

But the boss clearly thinks it’s beneath them. Why shouldn’t the temp feel the same way?

Is she a lesser human being because she’s junior in status and earnings?

Mellonsprite

If the cleaner accepted the cleaning role knowing that making tea was part of it, then what why on earth would you have an issue with it?

Some cleaners are happy to walk the dog, some cleaners are happy to change the beds, some cleaners are happy to deal with online shopping by putting away when it turns up... Some refuse and don't work for you.

Instead of feeling abused by someone above you, picture a scenario where the cleaner is employed by you to clean your elderly grand-mother's house who is struggling a little bit, just broke her hip.
Would the cleaner who ACCEPTED the role has any reason to be offended because they are expected to make a cup of tea when they start the job?

or would they be like some posters on this forum so insecure that they project a bit too much?

No earthly reason a manager cannot make their own drink. What next? Too busy to wipe your own backside? Get the temp to do it?

it's easy to see who works at which level on threads like this. Anyone with a "them" vs "us" is not doing too well are they...

Instead of feeling abused by someone above you
Hey I’m good thanks, no feelings of abuse here at my end, I’ve said many times up thread at my place of work, everyone serves themselves and it’s much easier for it, and I would never take advantage of anyone less senior than me. Have a good evening.

Pumpkin /So anyone who doesn’t agree with you must not be doing well? Lots of people in senior positions here - not all of them agree about the tea thing.

Why do you feel the need to come online and tell everyone how well you’re doing?

If you’re going to ask why I keep commenting - I just really hate the idea of abuse of power. That and bad manners. So OP’s boss triggered two of my pet hates. Although will be calling it a day soon as going round in circles. Just need to have some willpower and stop logging back in to MN.