To think I’m not the tea bitch?

[Ribrabrob]

Recently started a new job. Fairly basic administration job, although fairly well paid for the role. It’s just a temporary maternity cover role. Not really a job I enjoy or want to do but was rather desperate so took the job.

The job is okay and the people are fine, mostly quite nice. I work closely with the manger in a tiny office, the owner is based in an office nearby but regularly pops in. From the start it’s been made very clear that making tea/coffee for them both is very important in fact in my first interview I asked what was the most helpful thing the previous post holder did for the manager. The manager answered ‘oh it’s so helpful when she gets my drink for me’. I remember laughing thinking it was a joke but it wasn’t

Hints are regularly made about having a drink, at least twice before I get the hint and then I’ll offer. If I don’t offer she’ll then ask outright but always after hunting. It’s annoying, i would rather she just ask. Other people also make little remarks when they visit the office that she (manager) doesn’t seem to drink as much as when the other post holder was here! It’s so weird.

I don’t drink many hot drinks myself, usually just one in the morning and occasionally another later on so it doesn’t always enter my head to make one 🤷‍♀️ But of course I do offer when I am making.

The other day the owner was due in in about half an hour. Manager asked me to have a chat quickly and took ten minutes explaining to me how he’d like his tea and to try and have one ready for him.

Aibu to be annoyed by this or is it just a part of a basic admin role? Aibu to think I’m not the tea bitch?! Aibu to think how I make the tea really isn’t that important? I’ve worked in offices before and the CEO’s would always make drinks like everybody else!

I forgot to add. I start later than the manager in the morning and as soon as I get in she’s clearly been waiting for me as she starts speaking about how thirsty she is! Same when I get back from lunch.

YANBU. This would annoy the hell out of me.

I think I would just make very bad tea.

Its annoying having to make other people drinks all of the time but honestly, its a temporary role, just take your merry little time making them. Stand beside the kettle the whole time it's boiling and revel in the fact they are paying so much for you to stand and do pretty much nothing. Treat each tea making session as a nice paid break.

I’d happily make tea at the same rate of pay as other more taxing duties tbh! Fannies away the time!

@MrsBrunch

I think I would just make very bad tea.

This!

It’s bloody weird for her to wait in the morning for you to get in. Surely she can boil a kettle!

It does sound rather like you are the tea bitch, unfortunately! Clearly they seem to think it’s part of your job/role. But I’d be beyond annoyed at that hinting business too and calling it “helpful”, which insinuates that it’s not part of the job but something you’re doing out of the goodness of your heart. What a shower of eejits. If I were you I’d ask plainly but politely if this is part of your job and if you can agree on some times when they expect tea to be made, so you’re not spending your days listening to people fishing for a cup of tea so they can feel like they have servants. 🙄 Pretty sure this has been done by Ask A Manager a few times too if you want to see if she has scripts?

If it was dumped on you with no warning, eg because you are the only woman in the office so it's automatically assumed to be your job, then YANBU - but in this case it seems to be that they did clearly signal that it was a part of your duties, so I think you have to probably suck it up.

I would decide on making tea three times a day and stick to them. I don’t think you’re unreasonable to object, but if you need the job you can’t tell them to fuck off.

Most people's job descriptions will have a little line that says you need to perform any reasonable management request. Asking the office temp to make the brews may not be the way it works in many modern offices (partly because making a brew gives you a break from your screen) but it is far from an unreasonable request. As others have said, you are paid the same rate for making brews as anything else, do you really think it is beneath you to do it?

I'd HATE it. I don't mind making the tea off my own back, but being expected to be her skivvy would piss me right off.

However, if you have the time to do it, it's probably best just to treat it as a boring, mundane part of the job & get in the habit of making it when you get in & again at xyz times. Schedule it in so she's not nagging & hinting. (I'd have to do that or I'd tell her to make her own fucking tea 🤪)

You were warned in the interview that tea making was a very important duty to your manager. You’re in an administrative role directly supporting that manager. It’s not her fault you thought it was a joke. If you don’t like it, change jobs. It’s not a dangerous, unethical or illegal duty.

As an intern I had a manager who had me run out and buy her lunch for her every day as well as keep her in constant cans of Diet Coke. Sometimes that’s what you have to do.

Watch the Devil Wears Prada and have a good laugh.

YABU

The manager did tell you when you interviewed and there's nothing shameful about making tea

You sound ridiculously precious calling it being the "tea bitch". From your OP, it sounds like the job if below you and you are too good for it. It might be true, but no one forced you to accept it - and if you are so good, you could find better surely?

It doesn't matter what your title is, some boss expect their assistant to make them tea or coffee. It's annoying if they try to drop hints instead of ordering you around, but take it the right way - or quit and let them employ someone else who will be happy with the job.

Its a temporary job. Smile graciously and just pander to their ego and whims. Be the better person. Just make sure you wear a nice little pinny and have have enough biscuits so the poor little mites don't.go hungry.

They mentioned it at interview so even though it sounded ridiculous, essentially you were told.

So two options:

1. Do it slowly. In your own time. Do not do anything else while you're Making the Tea. Do not stay late for work you don't get done because you've been Making the Tea.

1. Make it weak and add loads of milk. I had to make coffee for my boss in another role and I was genuinely crap at it (not a coffee drinker and really had no idea!). After a few time I was never asked again. They were a bit pissed off though, however, they also did manage to survive making their own coffee!

I guess there's another option which is checking your job description and swing if it's covered there. If it's definitely not, even by an umbrella term, then you could just tell them where the kettle is. In a temp role though this could be risky.

This sounds like a complete power play on behalf of your colleagues - deliberately blowing up something small to make you look/feel as unimportant as possible. I've been there and seen this in my own workplace. I have no advice but to reassure you and say YANBU

I had this in a temp admin job as well. It wasn't even like the "Manager" was ding much either. But I just did it at set times (also not a big tea drinker myself) so walk in kettle on settle stuff in desk return to kithen water in - wipe round (yes that was my job too) make tea and deliver. 10.30 tea and biccies, return from lunch cuppa, 3.30pm cuppa but I tried to mix it up with when I did post and stuff so it didn't feel too much of a waste of time standing around waiting for kettle to boil etc

Does make it very important when you are a manager yourself to not take it for granted, bring in the best biccies and never forget the milk.

It could be worse. I had to make tea for someone who had none milk milk in her tea (it was years ago, possibly soya milk). Anyway, you if you put it in boiling hot water it curdles. So I'd be making an effort to make her tea non curdly and mine would go cold.

oh and yes I had a Masters and had been snr in mgt team prior - but it paid for my washing machine that had kaputted when I was struggling to find my niche

Thanks for all the advice and comments so far.

Maybe I didn’t explain myself well but it’s not that I think making drinks is beneath me. I think my problem is it’s partly because I find it a bit old fashioned - like I say, I’ve known very high up people who make their own drinks and offer for others. But this new place is the kind of place that will print out an email, so not the most modern place in the world! Also I guess it’s just the hinting that annoys me - I don’t like it when people hint at things, I find it strange and sometimes I don’t pick up on a hint straight away.

Like has been said I just need to suck it up really I know - and make them badly and take my time as suggested 🤣 I’m also keeping an eye out for jobs in my own field so hopefully something will come up soon.

Another vote for make bad tea/coffee

If they like tea strong put loads of milk in and take the bag out after about two seconds for example lol. They won't ask again

Afraid it's part of the role - you were told at interview

In the 1980s I was working as a rep and we had a training day with an external trainer. 7 men, me and the trainer. When the tea arrived at morning break on the first day it was pushed towards me with the comment 'Do the honours'. I did it immediately then, when everyone had their drinks I said 'great, that's my turn done'. They looked at me and then carried on with the training. Next time it happened, I just said 'What, I've done my turn'. The trainer actually did it himself that time and then allocated the others to do it in turn - but they did all expect me to be 'Mum' every time. I am surprised it is still happening because I thought more of us would have stood up for equality. I am sometimes surprised when new members of staff particularly young ones refuse as it is part of the 'junior' role to me but I still do see meetings were the women - even when senior - are expected to 'do their duty'

It's a temp role, make the tea already. It's not that bad, just cause you don't want one. Stand around in the kitchen waiting for the kettle, and take your time.
I make one for my manager, and she will plonk one in front of me some mornings, The senior nurse I worked with the other day made tea for me and our manager.

In our office the newest person in the office (is always a trainee so the also the most junior person in the office) makes all the teas and at set times. Kind of makes sense from a financial perspective of the business that the junior makes the tea.

I can’t believe people are suggesting you do it crappily or slowly.

Your manager is being a bit indirect but you’re in no doubt that hot drink making is part of your role, so you should do it at the times expected and the way requested. It doesn’t matter if it is tea making, post collecting, filing, you do what you’re asked to.