Ok, as this is “smoking is your own fault if you die” central, I’m not expecting sympathy, but I am worried.

[CathyTre]

I am a smoker. Have been since I was fourteen or so and never a “casual” or “social” smoker, a really heavy one. I’m addictive in many ways. I was anorexic for many years from about fourteen to about 27. Then a period of bulimia. Then, after my ex left me for the other woman, I decided (didn’t decide, but on some level I guess) to drink heavily. Stopped that. Got help.

Still smoke. Periodically bite nails down to the quick. Have started controlling food again, but am quite aware so trying hard not to delve down into anorexia again.

Am now suffering symptoms that I’m scared are lung cancer. Painful upper back. Sometimes chest pain below the ribs. Weak left arm.

I saw GP on Tuesday. He thinks is trapped nerve in shoulder. And referred pain in chest. But have a chest X-ray on Tuesday. Just in case. I’m scared.

AIBU to be scared, when if I do have lung cancer, I did it to myself?

Good luck for Tuesday. What about switching to a vape? You can lower nicotine strengths in stages. Not without risks but I don't think they quite as bad cigarettes.

Good luck for Tuesday.
It’s a very addictive habit, don’t blame yourself. Maybe look at vaping, it reduces the nicotine intake.

I quit smoking in January and like you, I smoked a lot and started early. I am mid 40s. I have had the same pain you are describing but unlike you, I always ignored it and continued smoking. I was worried and thought I might have cancer, but the addiction was stronger. I hated the fact that I was dependent on cigarettes and was envious of social smokers. Then, one day in January, I coughed up blood. Again, I ignored it. Told myself it didn't happen. Of course it happened again, about a week later. This was the day I decided to buy Nicolette chewing gums instead of cigarettes (over the years I had exhausted most other stop smoking methods). I didn't tell anyone about the blood, the pain and the fact that I was really scared. Whenever I felt weak, I tried to imagine having to tell my children that I was not going to see them grow up. Only a few weeks ago, I had the courage to have a CT scan of my lungs. Everything is fine. The pain on my chest, back and shoulders is gone. I am still addicted to the chewing gums, but who cares?! I have also put on a bit of weight. I understand what you are going through. I wish you the strength and willpower to stop smoking. Think about your children and all you would leave behind. Don't be hard on yourself - it's a nasty addiction. Good luck for your appointment on Tuesday.

Just to be clear Cathy - no one deserves to get cancer. Anyone who would be like "oh well it's your fault" would be a fucking bastard.

Sending you positive vibes

I had this when I smoked it was a a pulled chest muscle I was so scared I stopped after the xray although I blipped now and again it isn't easy. Good luck for your xray consider stopping though.

BTW I loved smoking i really loved it so I understand.

Thank you so much for the responses. I do appreciate it. I am scared about Tuesday but telling myself that if (fingers crossed!!) everything looks ok, I will use it as a warning and really try to quit. Thank you for the positive stories; I really appreciate it x

Not unreasonable at all, but maybe time to look into stopping smoking (myself and my dh have done recently, DH heavy smoker previously, from a young age)

Your GP is probably right, but you have allowed yourself to get panicked and now your over thinking.

No one deserves cancer, just as no one deserves type two diabetes etc.

Lung cancer is thankfully rare, even in smokers. I’m sure Tuesday will be okay, but I can understand being scared.

I haven’t smoked since early August, I am however surgically attached to my vape.

You could be much worse things than a smoker. You don’t deserve cancer, anyone that said such would be a very nasty person indeed.

IF the worse is coming your way and it is cancer, it doesn’t equal death. People do survive it. Sounds like you’ve dealt with a lot in your life and you have every chance your deal with worse case too.

Hopefully it will turn out to be nothing harmful & this scare will give you the power to stop smoking.

Lung cancer is thankfully rare, even in smokers
Lung cancer is the biggest cancer killer of them all.
Sorry not trying to scare you OP.
*The most common causes of cancer death are cancers of:
Lung (1.76 million deaths)
Colorectal (862 000 deaths)
Stomach (783 000 deaths)
Liver (782 000 deaths)

I'm happy for all the people who say they gave up smoking and can now have the occasional cigarette. The first time I gave up I smoked half a cigarette and was hooked again

I used to have a sneaky cigarette but it was getting to the point where I thought it was disgusting me.

If you can quit the drink you can quit smoking! It’s hard but definitely doable, as you’ve proven by overcoming alcohol problems and food issues!

At 42 and female you would unlucky to have lung cancer, 10 years time it could be different so do explore how to quit. Do t blame yourself though, addiction is a medical issue just like a genetic issue or a reaction to a virus.

Good luck, OP. Everyone makes bad choices sometimes. It's often just a matter of luck whether or not we escape the consequences of them (that's my dad's wisdom anyway!) so it's all a bit glass houses and stones imo. Better to know and work from there whatever it may be

Emerald shamrock’s post that “wasn’t meant to scare me” has little other function as far as I can see.

At your age its very unlikely to be cancer. Hope you get good news, I think its likely! I hope you manage to quit too and get lots of support to do so as I know its tough.

Emerald shamrock’s post that “wasn’t meant to scare me” has little other function as far as I can see.

And a job well done, to be honest!

Only an absolute cunt would indulge in any pious "you only have yourself to blame" lecturing and extend anything other than sympathy for your fear and hope that your GP is right and it is a trapped nerve. Have deliberately not RTFT so as not to get into arguments with anyone doing that.

I am also a smoker, I know it is stupid and dangerous and costly and foul and all the rest of it. As it happens I have just bought a vape and am preparing to make the jump- and this time I feel like it will work as I have decided for myself it's time and am not discussing it with anyone, just working to my own timetable. Encouragement to quit always makes me want a smoke! We both know we should quit. Hopefully we both will.

I hope your test results are good .

I hope everything went ok, @CathyTre

As much as I hate smoking and being around smokers and what they're doing to the health of the people around them. I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone, no one deserves it. You have a right to be scared. If it's not cancer then you need to stop smoking. Not just for you tbh.

Your kids dont deserve to lose their mum and you're increasing their chance of getting lung, mouth and throat cancer by even being around them after smoking, even if you smoke in the garden in all weather with the door shut. How scared you are now could be how scared your child is later in life when they do get that horrible diagnosis even though they've never smoked. It sounds horrible, but I dont smoke, both my parents smoked around me though and I had horrendous asthma. If I got a smoking related cancer, I wouldn't say it, but I would blame them.

Emerald shamrock’s post that “wasn’t meant to scare me” has little other function as far as I can see
I didn't see your comment response until today. I just searched the thread to ask how you got on?
My intention was Not to scare you it was answering a pp whod said lung cancer was rare.
Anyway I hope today went well.