Ok, as this is “smoking is your own fault if you die” central, I’m not expecting sympathy, but I am worried.

[CathyTre]

I am a smoker. Have been since I was fourteen or so and never a “casual” or “social” smoker, a really heavy one. I’m addictive in many ways. I was anorexic for many years from about fourteen to about 27. Then a period of bulimia. Then, after my ex left me for the other woman, I decided (didn’t decide, but on some level I guess) to drink heavily. Stopped that. Got help.

Still smoke. Periodically bite nails down to the quick. Have started controlling food again, but am quite aware so trying hard not to delve down into anorexia again.

Am now suffering symptoms that I’m scared are lung cancer. Painful upper back. Sometimes chest pain below the ribs. Weak left arm.

I saw GP on Tuesday. He thinks is trapped nerve in shoulder. And referred pain in chest. But have a chest X-ray on Tuesday. Just in case. I’m scared.

AIBU to be scared, when if I do have lung cancer, I did it to myself?

Many people havd become addicted to tobacco. I blame the tobacco companies and successive governments who have not outlawed this deadly substance. I hope your scan finds nothing serious and you go and seek help quitting.

If your weight is stable, that’s a good sign.

Arm pain is a rare symptom of a rare type of lung cancer (pancost) so again, another good sign that it’s unlikely.

If the symptoms are new, then it is excellent that they are taking it seriously. But again, unlikely to be lung cancer.

However, you need to stop. You know you need to stop. You will smell better, look better and feel better.

So sorry. This is terrifying for you. I smoked like you for 45 years. I stopped 2 years ago and I know I could still die of a smoking related disease, but the shadows that followed me all those years have gone it’s wonderful

OP, I smoked from 15-45 and have those symptoms too! 😱 I thought it was because I sleep on my left side. I’ve had it for 2-3 years and have seen a doctor and a physio. The physio said it’s coming from my neck after staring at phone all day, and keeping head propped at an odd angle on the sofa.

Nobody mentioned cancer. I was more worried it was heart related, tbh.

Good luck at your X-Ray. I gave up via the NHS stop smoking service, using NRT. It was fab. Definitely give up. Smoking is the cause of soooo much health anxiety.

If you have lung cancer, it's not necessarily a death sentence, not these days. See what treatment options you have.
It rather depends on whether it is Small Cell Lung Cancer or non-Small Cell.

OP, try not to get carried away with theories on what it could be. Whatever you have, the x-ray is not going to change it. The GP may well be correct. Have the ex-ray, the results are usually quite fast and then see where you go from there.

And yes, I’d be more worried if you had a cough. Surely a cough is the most common symptom?

Anorexia, bulimia and alcohol abuse are all much worse for your body. I don’t think you have been unreasonable to smoke while fighting those things. No addiction specialist would advise that you withdraw from every prop at once.
You have been brave and fought difficult addictions before and I’m sure you could do it again if you decide to. But it’s also ok to choose to smoke because, when you put it into the context of your other mental health battles, perhaps it helps you. It’s a judgment call. Please don’t be hard on yourself. You didn’t DO anything to yourself. You saved yourself 3 times over, while smoking.
If you were my loved one, I would have wanted you to continue to smoke if it supported your recovery.
I hope you get good news.

No judgement from me, OP, just sadness.

My sister tried and tried and tried to quit, she just couldn't. Probably contributed (along with her life-long struggle with her weight, culminating in type 2 diabetes) to her dying in her early 50s.

I seem to remember reading somewhere that the earlier you start smoking, the harder you will find it to quit, because smoking at an early age when the teenage brain is still developing affects the development of the dopamine receptor system in your brain.

If you can come up with a way of quitting, please do. My sister left three children behind, the youngest in her early teens, and it was so, so hard for them. I was devastated, my parents were too - in fact, my mum never really recovered.

I don't know what might work - Alan Carr, anti-addiction drugs, hypnotherapy. Whatever it takes, give it your best shot - for your own sake, and for those around you who love you.

I really hope it isn't lung cancer. People saying that gp's always know though are very wrong, my mum was fobbed off for months with upper back/shoulder pain. She was 59, a very bad outcome.

I used to work in a hostel with homeless men. Many of them had addictions issues- drugs, alcohol , gambling but they all said nicotine was the absolute worst- highly addictive, readily available, ( in the past ) socially acceptable . Don’t be hard on yourself. Many diseases and illnesses are affected by lifestyle choices. Good luck!

I really hope everything goes well, but I'm worried you're not seeing this as a reason to stop.

Please start to believe you can and will stop.

There is always point. It isn't good for you or your children. You can stop. You are strong. Please look after yourself better. Your kids need you.

Sorry to read that, *@BlackLetterDay. .

Try anything you can to kick the addiction. Perhaps hypnotherapy would be worth a shot along with medication.

It's really hard to stop smoking. I wanted to stop and it still took me ages, but it feels so good when you're not addicted any more. It sounds as if you're looking for an excuse to keep smoking when deep down you know you need to give up. You can do it, and I promise you it's worth it. Your kids will be delighted.

Hope everything goes alright for you. Like others have said you've saved yourself from other addictions so don't be too hard on yourself. I'm on a vape at the moment and have been for quite some time. I'm not ready to give up the nicotine just yet because I've only just at the age of 34 managed to finally get a handle on my weight. I don't want to rock the boat yet and try to get off the vape too.

One addiction can help you get through another (in my case food) and there is no judgement from me

Aquamarine, I was a smoker from 15. Hypnotherapy helped me, I stopped in my forties and haven't touched tobacco since, about 25 years. I hope you can stop OP.

Hate smoking, not the smokers...
YANBU, OP, and be kinder to yourself. You've been self harming for long enough. I don't know why you've been punishing yourself so badly over the years. But it's OK to stop. You deserve it.

Hope all goes well. I know what it is like to have an addictive nature and sympathise. I tried a cigarette once and thought it was ghastly - how lucky am i.

I think it is interesting that you are already saying if it is lung cancer then you wouldn't stop. You are already justifying smoking no matter what.

I am a non smoker and have never been a smoker. But my parents both smoked and I held my Mum's hand as she died from lung cancer. I wouldn't wish that death on anyone, nor on the poor bastards who have to watch someone they love going through that. The indignity of it all, losing her hair because of chemotherapy to buy her time but sadly she died 10 years ago now.

You can stop smoking, my Mum was the kind of person who would light a cigarette immediately on waking and before she got out of bed for a wee. Even she managed it at 60 years old and smoked heavy tar cigarettes from about 11. It is incredibly addictive but you can do this.

Vaping is surely a better alternative and hopefully this is the push you need to start looking at how to stop.

YANBU.

Ex smoker here. I get the same symptoms when I have a trapped nerve.

It's hard to imagine how much smoking can negatively impact on your mental health. Stopping smoking is the single best thing you can do. Your Dr should be able to help you get help.

Smoking is a bitch. Even my own GP said it was easier to quit heroin than it was to pack in the cigs. I quit smoking nearly 2.5 years ago, using a vape pen. Not one of those fancy pants cloud machines, just a cheap £20 jobbie. If you fancy trying the vape yourself then do visit your nearest shop - people who work in these shops LOVE to talk about vaping, perhaps because it helped them quit the cigs too?

Alternatively, the nicotine lozenges are very good, that's how my DH stopped after a scare very similar to yours. He got them free form the cessation service but the supermarket own brands are apparently decent enough too.

It does seem like you have an addictive personality so I'd advise against cold turkey - you'll just replace the cigs with food or drink.

A last piece of advice - as soon as you have smoked your final cig, consider yourself a non-smoker Don't tell yourself 'I am giving up', as long as you don't spark up again, you have stopped. Don't keep any cigs in the house 'just in case' - you will be a non-smoker and non-smokers do not need cigarettes.

I'm sure everything will be OK though. Incidentally, what side do you carry your bag on? I read an article not long ago where a (female) specialist blamed the majority of women's one-sided upper body pain on their handbags!

OP.

nothing to say as I am not an ex smoker but...

love.

Oh, and a massive WELL DONE to all you quitters, I'm sure we can all agree it's the best favour we ever did ourselves! Cathy, looking forward to you joining us!

If the GP thinks it isn't cancer then it probably isn't. Is it possible that you have convinced yourself that it's cancer because you think you deserve to have cancer? Because I can tell you right now that nobody deserves to get cancer.

I would honestly use this as motivation to quit. I'm not a sanctimonious arsehole who thinks everyone who smokes deserves what they get - I smoked very heavily myself for years, as well as engaging in many other self destructive behaviours. My story isn't that disimilar to yours, hence why I asked if you feel you deserve cancer - I am a bugger for punishing myself and it sounds like you might be too.

It is very hard to quit, so please acknowledge that and be kind to yourself. BUT the really hard part only lasts for a few days. After that it gets easier and easier as time goes by. It gives you such an amazing feeling to take control of something like this. You start to wonder what other amazing things you can do to change your life for the better. It can be the start of a whole new life for you.

I really hope that it's just a trapped nerve OP. Good luck x

Sorry you're going through this, sounds very scary but hopefully it'll be a trapped nerve like your doctor said.

How bad is your pain/what does it feel like? I am also having mostly left sided back pain and shoulder pain, as well as chest pain in the evening. It's a dull pain, not too bad, but I have awful health anxiety so of course have been thinking lung cancer. I thought I was likely being crazy but seeing this post made me think maybe I should see a doctor (though I've never smoked)