To encourage my DH to sell an inherited table?

[janey83]

My PIL bought a very expensive table in the 1950s which my DH inherited when his father died around 15 years ago. It’s in a poor state of repair and really not my style. The table now lives in my husband’s study (where I rarely spend any time).

We are about to move into a lovely smaller flat so we’re selling things that we don’t want to take with us. We do not agree about the future of the table.

It is in a real state and would cost £££ to renovate. However because it’s a rare early edition it’s fairly valuable even in its current state. My suggestion is we sell the table and buy another item of furniture which we both love. My husband agrees there is nowhere in the new flat for the table to be “out” but wants to store it in the flat somewhere (taking up much needed storage space!). I’ve asked my dh to see if his brother wants it but he hasn’t done anything about this.

I’m very unsentimental about stuff and growing up we didn’t have much money so had to make do with crap inherited furniture, making me quite resistant to the idea of having to cart my pil’s furniture around with us forever. My husband is both sentimental and much posher than me - he’s got quite a few inherited items but it’s the table that is really winding me up!

AIBU to the suggest again that we sell the table? A big argument is likely.

@Cakemadeoffruit
Controlling bully?? that’s a bit OTT

YABU. It doesn't belong to you. I'm assuming it's by somebody like Saarinen, or Bertoia, as you said it is an "early edition", - so a mid-century design classic rather than an antique.
It will appreciate in value, and your DH likes it. That is reason enough to keep it. You're not sentimental, but he is!

Maybe one day you will be fortunate enough to inherit a valuable table. Until then, it's your DH's decision what he does with his table.

There's a fabulous programme on BBC1 called The Repair Shop. You can apply to get an item repaired by them free of charge. Maybe DH could investigate if they would be interested in repairing his table. There's a group of artisans and experts and their work is stunning. Have a look on BBC iplayer.

Stick it in the garage, out of the way.

@janey83 I'm with you.

In the past I would have been with your DH but I saw the light and if it doesn't fit and can't be used it's deserves having love and joy elsewhere.

The money it sells for could be used specifically for something to remember them by.

I'm with you. I have no sentiment at all, dh does. Sadly I think sentiment wins.

men can get really weird about furniture we have an antique blanket chest in the front porch mine.

To be fair, men probably think the same about a lot of women's feelings towards shoes - except some of them and their branded trainers, maybe!

If you're needing to downsize and won't have room for it, why are you considering replacing it with another piece of furniture? Or are you thinking more tote umbrella stand or Canterbury?

Everybody's experiences and feelings will be different, but I disagree with those saying that children definitely won't care less about it. I have various items that belonged to my parents (a few pieces of furniture and lots of smaller things, mostly practical and a few just decorous) and it brings back a lot of lovely memories for me just seeing them and using them.

It's like the old introvert/extrovert issue: sentimental folk just can't understand those who don't feel any emotional attachment to certain items and vice versa.

@SBTlove as someone who's been on the receiving end of arguments designed for others to get their own way, no it's not.

Yanbu, I wouldn't have a big ugly piece of furniture taking up all the space either. You live there too and you have to look at it every day.

Putting it in the storage space is the perfect compromise. For both of you.

What other inherited furniture does he have? I do believe in thinning items and declutter if but he doesn’t seem ready

It’s not compromise when storage space is limited - it means less space for stuff they might actually use.

Sentimentality isn’t justification for large items of clutter.

YABU. My FIL used to make furniture as a hobby when he retired. Their house was full of it and we ended up with several pieces while he was alive . DH did get rid of a couple as after a while as he realised it was too many for our small house . We kept one though and despite it not really being to my taste,I am as keen to keep it as DH is. His dad died this year . He was a lovely man and I like that he made it. It is not worth any money but has sentimental value even for me now.

Rent a small storage unit and put it in there along with a few other bits and pieces “for safe keeping”. He’ll soon loose his attachment for it ... out of sight, out of mind etc ....

Storage units cost a lot.

I'm curipus to know the designer, and how it came to be in poor condition

I'm an unsentimental de-clutterer, but I'm afraid I'm on #TeamTable. Also interested to see a picture, if possible.

Storage units cost a lot.

It depends where your priorities lie. A unit big enough to store a 3-bed house-worth of furniture and incidentals will cost you a lot, so that's why most folk only have them for a month or two between houses etc.

A unit for a table, otoh (assuming we're talking normal family dining room and not King Arthur's finest) would probably cost you somewhere between £15-£30 a month (depending on area and available options), especially if it was up on its end - and there'd also be extra space for any other odds and ends you want to keep/use occasionally but not give permanent house space to.

If you have that money available and it's worth it to you, why not? A lot of people spend loads of money each month on things like fancy wine, £50 taxis home from the pub because they wouldn't countenance soft drinks for an evening out, gyms, football season tickets, video games etc which, to me, would be a complete and utter waste of money; but I realise that we're all different, with different interests and priorities - and that they would no doubt look at my spending essentials and consider many of them absolutely pointless.