To encourage my DH to sell an inherited table?

[janey83]

My PIL bought a very expensive table in the 1950s which my DH inherited when his father died around 15 years ago. It’s in a poor state of repair and really not my style. The table now lives in my husband’s study (where I rarely spend any time).

We are about to move into a lovely smaller flat so we’re selling things that we don’t want to take with us. We do not agree about the future of the table.

It is in a real state and would cost £££ to renovate. However because it’s a rare early edition it’s fairly valuable even in its current state. My suggestion is we sell the table and buy another item of furniture which we both love. My husband agrees there is nowhere in the new flat for the table to be “out” but wants to store it in the flat somewhere (taking up much needed storage space!). I’ve asked my dh to see if his brother wants it but he hasn’t done anything about this.

I’m very unsentimental about stuff and growing up we didn’t have much money so had to make do with crap inherited furniture, making me quite resistant to the idea of having to cart my pil’s furniture around with us forever. My husband is both sentimental and much posher than me - he’s got quite a few inherited items but it’s the table that is really winding me up!

AIBU to the suggest again that we sell the table? A big argument is likely.

My son and stepdaughter can’t wait for me to die to get their paws on my Ercol 🤣

Don't blame them, I love Errol 😂

Erm... start by chasing up the brother. Never get rid of family stuff without first offering to brother.

Then if you have children who might use it... though my view is children only want heirlooms that are either usable or have sentimental value to them because they were used in THEIR childhood...

ERCOL

Sorry you're going to have to keep the table no matter how much you don't want to.

My dh has his grannies bookcase that's quite dilapidated but he loves it so it lives in the living room in its around about 80 year old state.

I may not love it but he does, we compromise.

YABU. My most treasured possession is a 1950s drinks cabinet thar belonged to my beloved Grandad. If DH asked me to choose, he'd lose. Because it would be an awful thing to ask of me, and he knows it. To be fair to him, he doesn't need to know it, because he is a fundamentally decent guy and respects my feelings. HTH.

take it with you to the new flat and when he gets fed up with the space it's taking up he might decide to do something with it.
dh and i are putting ourhouseon the market in the new year to down size and are swedish death cleaning so the dc don't have hire countless skips to get rid of our valuables and potential heirlooms a.k.a tat when we push off the mortal curve.
they've actually said they are grateful for us doing that for them

Maybe try and get it on the repair shop programme to be restored. That would be a nice surprise for him and at least it won't be an eye sore for you

YABBU. The idea of storing a massive table in a small apartment is ridiculous.

YANBU obviously

Glad you accepted it op. We have things I’m not a huge fan of because my husband inherited them, as such, they have sentimental value and he wants to keep them so then it’s not a discussion. He gets to keep them,

I’m not sure I’d be quite so magnanimous if it was a table we didn’t have space for, but ultimately if he wanted to keep it we would. I’d certainly not push it.

Put a cloth on top of the table and a potted plant and put up with it. One day he may be able to afford to get it restored.

YANBU.

But I'm not sentimental about furniture.

YABU.
I have a sideboard I inherited from a dear friend who died young about 35 years ago (not really inherited -- just left over from her estate and nobody else wanted it). I have moved home, moved country, several times but the sideboard goes with me, wherever I go. It has been shipped back and forth across the continent! It's not pretty and my daughter hates it; it was looking a bit shabby so I had it painted. But it will stay with me until the day I die!

I also have two small pieces a pretty, flowery milk jug and a garlic press once given to me by another friend who died young. They too will always go wherever I go. Whenever I see/use them, I think of her.

That's why we keep items of sentimental value. Do not disregard that function.

^ The sideboard is also very useful. It's a tall one with six drawers, so I use it for storage. But mostly, it reminds me of her.

YABU. It’s obviously got sentimental value to your DH. Let him keep it.

I’ve got loads of my late DGM’s furniture- I love having it and feel like it’s a mice daily reminder of her in our (small) home. Frankly I’d sell DH before I sold her furniture.

YABVU, and controlling.

*nice. Bloody iPhone.

@janey83
I’m with you, a 70 yr old tatty table, if it didn’t have value it’d be in a skip with me.
It’s a table, how is that sentimental 🙄

Does he actually like and want the table? Or is it residual guilt that his parents valued it so he shouldn't get rid of it?

DB and I both inherited from our parents. He put a lot of his in his large garage temporarily. The garage caught fire, and things were reduced to ash. So an old piano which had been kept tuned and had a nice tone, before it was dumped in the garage, went up in flames, as did late DF's violin, and a whole host of other things.

Since no one in the family now plays the violin, that could have been sold for a decent price, but now it's too late. Having said that, I have got a fire screen I haven't a clue what to do with and an occasional table which folds up, but does get in the way.

Yabu

I love using furniture, china etc that my family had. It reminds me of them. Would far rather that than new stuff from Ikea or wherever.

Going against the grain here but....YANBU, but I pathologically hate clutter and am very unsentimental about stuff Unlike my MIL, whose house is a dusty mausoleum to dead grannies and great aunts Could you maybe suggest at least putting it into storage somewhere given you don't currently have much space?

Can we see a pic of the table before judging? :-)

I don't think you are being unreasonable. If it would take up loads of room and isn't particularly attractive or functional it's a bit of a pain. If you have the space to put it out of the way then fair enough but otherwise I think he could consider getting rid. I'm not sentimental about furniture though.

YABU it's his and he wants to keep it. You are controlling and coming across as a bully when you say it will come to an argument.

I gave up some of my sentimental things because my DP behaved as you are and I resent him for it. Every. Single. Day. It's just another nail...

YABU. He wants to take it with you, and it has sentimental value to him, so of course you shouldn’t try to force him to sell it.