To encourage my DH to sell an inherited table?

[janey83]

My PIL bought a very expensive table in the 1950s which my DH inherited when his father died around 15 years ago. It’s in a poor state of repair and really not my style. The table now lives in my husband’s study (where I rarely spend any time).

We are about to move into a lovely smaller flat so we’re selling things that we don’t want to take with us. We do not agree about the future of the table.

It is in a real state and would cost £££ to renovate. However because it’s a rare early edition it’s fairly valuable even in its current state. My suggestion is we sell the table and buy another item of furniture which we both love. My husband agrees there is nowhere in the new flat for the table to be “out” but wants to store it in the flat somewhere (taking up much needed storage space!). I’ve asked my dh to see if his brother wants it but he hasn’t done anything about this.

I’m very unsentimental about stuff and growing up we didn’t have much money so had to make do with crap inherited furniture, making me quite resistant to the idea of having to cart my pil’s furniture around with us forever. My husband is both sentimental and much posher than me - he’s got quite a few inherited items but it’s the table that is really winding me up!

AIBU to the suggest again that we sell the table? A big argument is likely.

Is there a compromise could it be renovated and modernised ?

'Early example' has got me intrigued. It suggests it is by a known maker. Is it Mouseman or something of that sort? I know the style shouldn't influence me, but I could never sell anything Mouseman, but I could easily sell Ercol.

We have a few pieces of mouseman furniture We also have a painting which would change our lives cost a load to insure and not to our taste which he refuses to sell

What does he think will happen if he dies? Do you have children to pass his old fashioned tat inheritance. Who will benefit? To have something that valuable sat doing nothing when the money from selling it could be life changing is pointless. What a waste.

If you could live with the piece if it was restored, I would save up for that to be done.

I don't think you're being unreasonable, but that's because for the last 18 years and three house moves we've carted around a nasty, cheap, damaged upright piano that my partner inherited from a relative. We don't play the piano, it has keys and strings missing and holes from where the candle sconces were ripped out some time in the 1960s. It lived for a few years in a damp Irish barn and the wood is warped and the varnish cloudy. We had it valued and were told it's worthless and would cost us money to have it disposed of. And still my partner won't dispose of it.

men can get really weird about furniture we have an antique blanket chest in the front porch mine. He said get rid I said it is full of shoes boots trainers all his where will they go? He opened it took a look and shut up. Whereas his crap has to stay in the garage, probably rotting, who knows. Not my problem.

YANBU. You are downsizing, the table is in poor condition, there is no room at the new smaller flat. When one downsizes these are the difficult decisions one has to make, to reduce the clutter. Have you any DC you could dump it on bequeath it to?

Oh wow. We have a similar issue. Except the table and 4 chairs that I cannot stand are in the shed! No advice, but sympathy OP, it’s not an easy fix (unless you can buy a shed?)

YABU. It's important to him.

And mid-century furniture is going up in value, so if it's a rare early edition, it'll go up even more.

YABU - if it matters to him, he has to find space for it, but you can't make him dispose of it.

I'll take the Mouseman's off your hands

I'll fight you for them, @MrsTerryPratchett.

YABU, I don't know what I'd do if my dh suggested I sold my sentimental things.
I don't think either of us would tbh.

Ah I can sympathise with your husband. I’ve inherited a table that I am emotionally attached too. My dh has tried to get me to replace it several times but I can’t do it! I think if we didn’t have the space it would be different but it holds so many great childhood memories for me I just can’t do it x

YANBU. You've both agreed you don't want it in the flat. Why pay money to store it?

YABVU. I would be distraught if my husband tried to force me to sell a family heirloom. Thankfully he is a bit nicer than you and never would.

@Shedbuilder - drag it into the garden and set fire to the damn thing!

Have you had it valued recently OP?
Do you know how much restoration work would cost?
I would find out these things before making andy decisions.

YABU, also are you sure it is valuable? I know your PIL might have said it was valuable back in the day, but the market has fallen out of antique furniture in the last 30 years.

Could you get him to pay to store it in a storage unit?

What are his long term plans for it- do you have children who may want it?

I am not really sentimental about things, so I would be irritated to have this table taking up space when there’s no intention to use or repair it and your DH doesn’t seem to like it that much if he hasn’t bothered to do anything with it. Sympathies, I hope you can work something out.

Your kids will not want any of your stuff believe me even if it is worth a lot of money they would sell it and buy new

My son and stepdaughter can’t wait for me to die to get their paws on my Ercol 🤣

If he's keeping it out of duty, I'd try to talk him around. If his brother would take it, it could still be in the family, so maybe that would be easier for him to accept (though you might end up with a worse situation if his brother were at some point to get rid of it without asking him if he wanted it back).

If it's sentiment, that's trickier, but I'd still talk to him about it. Does he have any other sentimental items of his father's to keep and cherish, or is this it?

Since neither of you like the table and you don't have room for it, I don't think you're unreasonable to want him to at least consider selling it or passing it to another family member.

Gosh I keep stuff just because I loved the person who gave it to me. Do it up and use it.

YANBU.

If there is no room for the table you will have to look at a different property to move to if DH won't part with it.....

If it is the value that he is thinking of then it would definitely be worth a proper valuation. In my own family a dining suite that was valued at £5,000 had decreased to around £250 when we came to sell it. It was not the condition just that it was not a fashionable style or colour, so if your table is in bad condition as well it may be not be worth as much as he thinks.