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Original poster

Reported to social services by coworker

434 replies

UnsocialServiced · 09/10/2020 17:39

My frankly bonkers coworker has reported me to SS because she is concerned about my 3 old. I was wfh last week because my DS had a slight temperature. Whilst he was home and I was working he had a day of watching films. (3 films in one day). I'm not saying it was great parenting but I was in the next room could hear him at all times. He also kept coming into chat with me and play in between working etc. Anyway Coworker told me today that she was concerned about DS being ignored and felt she had no choice but to pass her concerns on. What will happen now?

OP posts:
NRatched · 09/10/2020 22:24

How bloody ridiculous. Especially for the sake of a day. I expect a LOT of kids have had way more screentime than usual over the past months. Kids of social workers included! This person is such a timewaster, imagine being so smug as to do this. I could understand a bit more if it was a long term thing, but even then..most I know have overrused the IPads and such throughout lockdown, not been given much choice other than to do that or give up work totally..and its not like the kids have been completely ignored, still obviously getting meals and conversation and such, just not attention on them 24/7. Weirdly, DD seems happier when its been a bit..'entertain yourselves for a bit' than when shes stimulated a bit more. She seems much more chilled these days. Or did til she went back to school anyway!

NRatched · 09/10/2020 22:29

@Al1Langdownthecleghole

I swore before I had children I would never use the TV as a babysitter.

Funny what a dose of toddler reality does for you isn’t it?

Haha yeah.

I was the perfect parent, til I actually had kids. I knew what parents should do when their kids had a meltdown in the street, they we clearly just not managing it right, its obvious! Parets wh use screens in yung kids are clearly neglectful. NO sugar til 8, no fizzy pop til 10, load of bollocks like that.

Lasted until they started actually moving around Grin

Emmelina · 09/10/2020 22:39

I’d be very surprised if you even heard from SS for that to be honest, and if they do come out there won’t be action. With having to WFH for the past 7 months we’ve all had to rely heavily on screentime, telly, video games etc so we can take work calls in peace!

BubblyBarbara · 09/10/2020 22:46

Any kid who’s in a warm home with a loving parent during the day is doing better than the average child in the world even if they’re not being doted on every second. In much of the world they strap the kid on their back and worth the fields all day and they would laugh at anyone being concerned your child is living in the lap of luxury

Redruby25 · 09/10/2020 22:50

Oh my dear lord! Are you kidding me! That is ridiculous! And people do not realise how pathetic they are! Or what issues they can cause by doing these sorts of things.
Quite frankly I would be surprised if they even bothered to follow that up!
Mind you! Nothing would surprise me, as when my landlord wanted to evict us, and was advised to add in some good old crap to spice up the case, I had Children’s services around my house like a shot, because when I asked for assistance from my local council, due to being evicted, they said they had a 'duty' to pass on allegations landlord made, to Children’s Services, just like so many other duties they had but didn't undertake yep!
But now when I needed them and have sought out help, oh suddenly there is no mad rush!
It seems when someone else reports things against you it stirs things up.

If you do hear from anyone just be polite and factual.
I dare say there are SW's whom have been working from home themselves over the months, so I wonder what they done with their children 🤔🤦‍♀️

mofro · 09/10/2020 22:56

OP emsil your manager over the weekend - don’t wait until Monday!

Original poster
UnsocialServiced · 09/10/2020 23:01

@Lavanderrose

I’m sorry but this can’t be all there is to this. I have a feeling that more has happened than you letting on.

But if it just what you’ve said here then nothing will happen except their will most likely be a record of it kept.

If it makes any difference at all it was the same film 3 times in a day. DS is obsessed with it and kept asking to watch it. He will probably watch it another gazillion times before getting bored and moving onto a new obsession. It was this fact that seemed to worry my work colleague more than if it had been 3 different films.

I am emailing my manager. Don't know if I should email the Head of HR guy who I've never actually met or not though? I don't want to go overkill.

OP posts:
Verybookish · 09/10/2020 23:02

haven’t read the whole thread so sorry if this has already been said 1000 times (cancel the cheque!!!) but I would report her to HR immediately. Absolutely effing unbelievable behaviour.

ReneeRol · 09/10/2020 23:05

This woman has tried to cause you and your child harm with her malicious allegations. There's always an excuse to shit stir for people like her. She was looking for a reason. There's no such thing as overkill. Email everybody who is relevant to shutting her down and make it clear that her behaviour is malicious harrassment. Take this very seriously and make your company take it seriously.

NRatched · 09/10/2020 23:06

If it makes any difference at all it was the same film 3 times in a day. DS is obsessed with it and kept asking to watch it. He will probably watch it another gazillion times before getting bored and moving onto a new obsession. It was this fact that seemed to worry my work colleague more than if it had been 3 different films.
Assuming colleague does not have any kids? This is entirely usual for a 3 year old from my experience. Though it does seem odd, before you actually go through it I have to say. Used to think DSD was very strange wanting to watch the same film multiple times per day when she was about 4 ish. At one stage I even wondered if she had anymore films, thoug of course she did and I saw her collection once and it baffled me that it was always the one film.

Then I went through it with DD. And then again with DS. DS is still sort of in this mode actually at 6. Same 5 films on repeat, the toy storys, and horrid henry the movie. Over and over and over.

RayOfSunshine2013 · 09/10/2020 23:09

SS will do absolutely nothing over a child watching a film 3x in a day. It will be recorded that a concern has been made, I’d be surprised if this is even followed up and you contacted by SS

BritWifeinUSA · 09/10/2020 23:11

She is crazy. If she thinks a child being at home with his mother, being fed, clothed, in a warm, dry, safe building is a cause for concern she clearly has no idea how thousands of children are living. There are children being abused right now. Children being starved. Children living with drug addicts and alcoholics passed out on the floor. There are children being used in crimes right now. These children are the concern of social services rather than a child who watches TV whilst his mother works to keep him fed, clothed and housed. If she is so concerned about the welfare of children, she can spend her time raising money or volunteering for a charity that helps vulnerable children. There are far more heartbreaking situations than sitting in front of a TV.

ApolloandDaphne · 09/10/2020 23:11

Honestly I am a retired SE and I would have laughed if that had been reported. You will be fine. Sometimes you need to do what you need to do to get through.

BumbleFlump · 09/10/2020 23:15

Definitely report her to management.

lakesidewinter · 09/10/2020 23:20

If it makes any difference at all it was the same film 3 times in a day.

No OP that would make no difference to SS, it is normal for many dc to do this.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 09/10/2020 23:21

We did avoid letting DDs watch tv until they were two. They now watch too much. If I report myself to social services, what “support” can I hope to gain?

Longdistance · 09/10/2020 23:26

Well, if she doesn’t have dc herself, she can fuck off! How does she expect you to juggle? Fucking twat!
Honestly, report her for malicious behaviour to HR.

Charmatt · 09/10/2020 23:35

I work in education and can assure you that social services have so many more cases to deal with since lockdown that their threshold for intervention is higher than before.

We can't get SS to intervene in cases where we feel the child desperately needs help - where they are clearly distressed and suffering emotionally. You have nothing to worry about.

More importantly you have nothing to feel bad about. It sounds like your DS has enjoyed himself and made his own choices, safe and secure in the knowledge you were nearby should he need you!

Summerdayshaze · 09/10/2020 23:40

I would be livid. Proper red mist furious. How dare she. That’s either pure malice or she’s fucking insane. Either way I’d be going to HR and refusing to work with her. That is truly vile behaviour and seriously weird.

mumwon · 09/10/2020 23:41

I was just thinking when dc2 was new baby I was sleep deprived to the nthn degree - to maintain my few remaining brain cells dc1 watched a lot of tv
Gosh I should have reported myself (& wasted sw time)
both dc are mature adults - I don't think either suffered
Constant helicoptering (?) doesn't allow dc to develop independence

WiserOwl · 09/10/2020 23:44

@iklboo

Raise a grievance for malicious reporting. Ok you might not be able to do this but she's barmy.
This. She is trying to get rid of you.
mumwon · 09/10/2020 23:44

Like others I have this vision of her talking to a sw working from home on ear phones so you can't hear her dc (attempting to kill each other/or watching too much tv) & trying to keep a straight face

MadameMeursault · 09/10/2020 23:45

She is vile. Make sure you tell all your colleagues what she has done. I’m sure many of them won’t want anything to do with her after this, I certainly wouldn’t. You sound like a great mum OP Flowers

YouokHun · 09/10/2020 23:51

@UnsocialServiced

I will email my manager first thing Monday. I actually don't think she was malicious but as some of you have said that is not the point. Hopefully Social Services will be happy if they do need to come and see us. DS is a lovely, bright happy little soul.
Whether malicious, misguided over-invested or unwell her card really needs marking as appropriate. It would be most unwise to let this go soI’m glad you are going to push back OP and do be forceful about it, don’t let them sweep it under the carpet because this has implications for people working from home that I hadn’t really considered before now.

You have done nothing wrong; you’ve just done what many of us have had to do in the current circumstances and it was hardly “bad parenting”. There really are some ridiculously unimaginative posters on here sometimes, completely unable to picture someone else’s dilemma.

YouokHun · 09/10/2020 23:55

I am emailing my manager. Don't know if I should email the Head of HR guy who I've never actually met or not though? I don't want to go overkill

I’d copy your manager but I would get it in front of HR at the same time. Not overkill at all.

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