If you're an organised parent with 2 or more DCs can you please share your wisdom?

[cutepugmug]

If you've a clean home, rarely run out of clean socks, don't forget picture day and have some time to yourself without your whole entity just being "mum" or "dad" can you please share your top tips?

I'm just about holding it together with 2 and one hasn't even hit primary yet. My house isn't particularly clean or clutter free which makes me struggle to focus. If I do focus on cleaning/tidying then it inadvertently takes over the day and I end up shoving DC2 in front of the iPad to let me get on which is pretty crap. I'm finding myself being enveloped trying to be this "mum" I have in my head, cleaning the house, cooking meals, washing dishes, doing the laundry and generally chasing my own tail rarely sitting down properly with my toddler or giving myself time to have some "me" time. And I still manage to forget wellies for dc1s school walk, forget to iron school shirts and call the garage about a funny sound in my car that's been there slightly too long for comfort now. We have been planning for DC3 and I'd love to start trying but I'm worried about keeping myself organised and on top of things.

In reality I hate having this messy house as my mind is just clouded. But I also loathe spending ages trying to clean and tidy though as I should be making sure I'm spending time with DCs. I don't know how to make it manageable and not forget other admin and organisation. And most importantly I don't know how to balance it all with a bit of self care and down time so I can feel like a woman every now and then not just a "mum". FYI I love being a mum and my DCs but I don't want it to be all that I am if anyone understands what I'm trying to say.

Any tips and advice on how to balance the above would be very very helpful!

Are you a single parent? If not delegate?

My house is by no means tidy or clutter free, but it's usually clean. And I generally remember to put the bins out/send the kids to nursery in whatever colour it is they want them dressed in/book the dog in at the vets. I feel you though op, it's hard sometimes, i feel like all i ever do is mum stuff or cleaning.

My tips are:

Plan all clothes for the coming week on sunday for you and the kids. my two both have a 5 space storage set which I put their clothes in for each day including underwear and socks, and when I'm doing it I check the calendar to see if I need fancy dress/odd socks/waterproofs or whatever and put them in the right drawer. I usually sort out my work outfits for the week and hang them ready as well. It just removes thinking time of a morning and reduces stress generally.

Use an organising app, we have family wall, which has a calendar for every child and the dog, to do lists, reminder functions, meal planner, contacts etc. I've put in everything I can think of which reoccurs, like car mots, insurance, etc, and set reminders. Any appointment, reminder, thing I need to do goes into the app, and DH does the same. We have a shared grocery list on there too, which we both add to if something runs out. If the nursery tells me something I need to remember at pick up, I put it on straight away and set a reminder. Again, it takes the thinking out of it, just stick it in and wait for the reminder.

I have two washing machines. Laundry takes half the time now. It's amazing. I also don't iron anything, unless it's for a job interview or formal event. I have a handheld clothes steamer for quick decreasing of clothes that need it.

I have also lowered my standards massively when it comes to kids and clutter. The only exception is my little office room, which is basically a child free zone, and where I can retreat to occasionally after the kids go to bed. I'm also working on getting the kids involved with tidying up. Making it an activity with them will hopefully stand us all in good stead for the future.

My personal me time is taken up with studying at the moment, I'm in my final year of an open university degree, so that's my thing for me. DH gives me a lot of help and support to make sure I can have the time to do it though, it would be a lot harder if I was trying to do it without that help.

It's not perfect, but we get through most weeks without major dramas!

My two are 5 (at school) and 2.

I meal plan. In winter in particular we eat a lot of slow cooker meals which last 2 nights. I also make a lot of soups/basic vegetable sauces and freeze. Both children are expected to help. They also help with the dishwasher. One night a week dinner is always lazy, home made pizza with premade dough, soup with bread from the bakery, beans on toast etc.
Dc1's school snacks are in the cupboard in labelled freezer bags (Monday etc). He grabs one each morning.
He wears polo shirts which I hang up damp. I don't iron them.
They have 25 pairs of socks each. We never run out.
I have a bag in the hall containing wellies x2, waterproofs, waterproof picnic mat, extra socks which can be thrown in the car/under the pushchair/carried as a rucksack. That bag also contains cash, plasters, wipes, salvon, long life snacks, extra hair slides/bands, reusable straws etc.

I have a calendar by the door and a diary. Any dates get put straight on both. Any paper work gets dealt with immediately. I make shopping lists etc in the diary and/or as a message to dh as we run out and then just photograph the list.

I supervise their bedroom tidying but it's their responsibility. Clothes come off and go in their washing basket. Toys have homes and they go back. I cycle the toys and books. Somethings stay out all the time like the playmobil and dinosaurs but other things come and go. The majority of books out at the moment for example are autumn/halloween themed.

Do you work?

I manage by not working

I second having a central family planner or calendar to keep events and dates organised. Establishing a routine is essential. I worked 6am-4pm, so after collecting the children from after school club, the first hour at home they had free to play and I’d use that time to go through their school bags, read school notes, update the calendar/planner and gather up anything for the next school day. We had a hook in hallway for each child with a bench and cubbyhole under it. I’d put their school bag plus whatever they needed in that cubbyhole under their coat.
My husband did the morning routine of getting them up, breakfast fed, dressed and to school as his job could start later but he couldn’t get off as early as I could.
Because I worked 6am-4pm, that was four ten hour shifts, so I had one day off extra a week. That day I would use to do top to bottom clean of house and run laundry. Both DH and I would also clean as we went day to day. Messes were not left for my day off.
That left weekend free for family fun and also for us to give each other a break one morning or afternoon.

My 3 are close in age and have always shared school socks and shirts. They go in a communal pile. I never iron. Ever. I had a cleaner in when they were little once a week and it was also her job to change the bedsheets. As for meals, I am the queen of tray bake recipes. There are some really nice ones. Calendar pinned up in the kitchen and if it wasn't in the calendar, it didn't exist! I've shopped online forever.

They are older now, teenagers. I remove their phones and they get them back when they have cleaned up their rooms (I make them sweep and mop them on weekends and clean their bathrooms). They aren't allowed their phones in the mornings before school until they've made their beds and left their rooms reasonably tidy, hung up their bath towels etc.

I cook, they are in charge of cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, including taking out the rubbish, sweeping the floor etc. This is a new development and I'm sorry I didn't do it a couple of years ago. It's brilliant. I cook, I eat, then I relax. There's 3 of them so it doesn't take long to clean up.

@katmarie what's the app?

That sounds great @Whichoneofyoudidthat

I think I'm a bit worried about them being at different stages when they're older. There's likely to be a 6-7 year gap between dc1 and dc3 if we end up trying. Which is quite large and I worry about the variety of different things needed to keep them all in check. It won't be one rule for all ...

I have a four year old at school and a baby.

Things can get a bit chaotic but we have lots of phone reminders and a shared calendar which helps. Reminder alerts set up for things like wearing PE kit on Friday.

Each parent focuses on one child in the morning and at bedtime. I put a wash on every evening then put away the clothes from the night before. Haven’t run out of socks just by having loads of socks! Don’t bother with ironing anything. I have no energy left to cook fancy dinners so have an easy meal planned for every night, something like pizza or tortellini.

Cleaning is done in the evenings as I can’t clean around a crawling baby who rarely naps in the day. The house could be a lot cleaner but we haven’t had any visitors since March anyway.

Three kids would be a step too far for me, much respect to anyone who can handle three or more!

My husband will take the kids for an hour or two at the weekend so I can do my hobby - which is seasonal mainly in spring/summer.

Competent husband.

Also I'm the opposite of @formerbabe as I manage by going to work. I used my lengthy commute well, up until March.

Do you need a third child? If you don't like the situation now, I can't imagine another child is going to help.
I'm a single parent with two kids that works full time. When I had the children everyday for a year when they were 4 and 5 I still was able to get all stuff done. Add reminders into phone. I dont really sit down (except whilst working) until probably about 10 at night sorting things out though.

I have a diary. Everything is written into it. I also break down a list for what needs doing in rooms ie bathroom clean shower or kitchen clean oven. I try to do one job an evening when kids go to bed. I put outfits out the night before. I have 2 in preschool and a baby. Slow Cooker for meals saves so much time. A load of laundry every day wash dried and put away.

I wouldn't manage it without my hands on DH, so I think that makes a big difference. I think planning ahead really helps. Look at the month ahead and work out what you'll need and make a list. Special outfit days, money for baking, friends party etc. Then if 1 last minute thing happens, it's ok because everything else has been planned.

Routines, a place for everything and independent DC really help. i.e. We get in from school, 5 year old DS goes upstairs and changes and leaves school clothes neatly for next day, comes down has a snack and then we do reading etc. I fill in any forms straight away and make a note of anything else needed. Meal planning is a game changer. No more hovering by the fridge or last minute shopping! There will definitely be times when DC are left to play while I get jobs done. They play very independently or I set up an activity. I think that's absolutely fine. Where appropriate I get them to join in with jobs. Think it does them good to see the house doesn't magically clean itself!

Lists, calendars, phone reminders, set days for washing, ironing, food shopping etc all help make the house run smoothly. Once DC are in bed by 7.30pm it's me time. I rarely do chores in this time, but have this luxury because I'm a SAHM.

I have a whiteboard with what things I need to remember each day...so It says “Tuesday - forest school top / check weather for uniform. Friday - piano music etc.

I rely heavily on my parent year group WattsApp groups as well.

And write everything on the wall calendar. I dedicated time every month to keeping it up to date. Basically my life consists of endless lists!

My partner shares the mental load. Much less chance of two people forgetting photo day than one.

We also have a calendar by the door for all appointments.

Uniform sorted on hangers for the week ahead on a Sunday.

Have a routine around homework and instrument practice, and around bedtime and mornings.

We fall down on meal planning and need to get better at this.

I'm pretty organised. I had a P/T nanny when my 3 kids were under 5 and then we had au pairs.
Au pair have now finished, but they are much older 14,12 and 9. I find having a big family planner helps. Monthly meal planning and lots of lists on the fridge - currently the fridge has - the children's lessons for the week, their after school activities and what they need to take each day and my meal planner. I can just glance at the fridge each day - and my diary and decide who needs what.

I'm not sure I'd class myself as organised but I have a few things I do which seem to help. I put a wash on every morning (if I remember I put it on the timer so it's ready to hang out when I get up at 7am). I wash the DCs clothes together and adult clothes together (I don't sort by colour), make it easier to put away. I batch cook things like bolognese, chilli, soup and freeze in takeaway tubs (contents written in marker pen). DC have frozen food tea (nuggets etc) once a week and we have takeaway once a week. DS aged 9 does his homework after breakfast with incentive to watch tv if he finishes it. DS age 5 reads to me while I wash up breakfast. Weekends the DC play Lego with DH and I clean e.g. bathrooms x2 or Hoover whole of downstairs. We go on a family walk straight after breakfast on Saturdays and everything else waits, otherwise it wouldn't happen. DH cooks at weekend. Exercise is done straight from school drop off so I shower after that. I go to bed early and read. The DC both being at school makes a big difference. You'll get there soon enough. In the meantime, give yourself a break, sounds like you are doing fine.

My top top is this: it gets easier when they are in their teens, esp if you arrange it so they mostly do their own admin and can cook/clean/do laundry.

Meal planning, enough uniform to last for the week, calendar on the wall and online plus a weekly one in big writing blu-tacked onto kitchen cupboard so whoever is there in charge can easily see who's got swimming lessons/cubs/homework etc.
I wish I'd thought of this one when my boys were little, now they're grown up but 2 are at home still: everybody gets a separate laundry wash. So no time spent sorting out laundry/socks etc, no communal laundry basket. It goes in a bag in their room, gets brought down and washed by them or I'll actually put it in the machine if I'm feeling kind. It then gets hung out either by me or the person whose washing it is, and then back in the bag. I don't put away laundry anymore, but I did when they were young. The point is, if it's separated when it goes in, there's no sorting, or arguing over who's sock it is, or who is going to help or any of that nonsense - saves so much time!
I never ironed uniforms, and will only iron for very special occasions, like weddings.
I'd advise getting habits of doing chores at specific times set up when they are very young.

Me and my DH both work compressed hours over 4 days and 1 child at school and 1 at nursery. We follow 'the organised mum method' for cleaning the house which means housework free weekends. Put a wash on every day. Meal plan and pay for supermarket delivery saver which allows you to book a delivery slot each week a month in advance, once something runs out its added to the list immediately.
Use the slow cooker or batch cook a lot. Synced Gmail calendars on our phones.

Thank you for reminding me about photo day 😂🙈

I never iron. The tumble drier leaves teeshirts fine.

I have a cleaner once a week but also don't target having a continuously immaculate home. There's no daily hoovering here.

I don't have a trendy looking home. Those require "finishing touches" decor wise which often include niknaks that make work in terms of cleaning - extra cushions to wash, ornaments to wipe.

I batch cook.

I require DH to help.

But honestly? I don't get a great deal any time for myself. I don't go and get my hair or nails done (other than a quick haircut once a year). My exercise is limited. I don't go browsing shops for things for myself. I do not go on weekends away with girlfriends. I wasnt huge on a lot of those things anyway, but I tolerate their near absence while my children are very young only on the basis that it's not forever.

We are just about beginning to become vaguely organised here now that the eldest DC has started school.

I'm still at home so that obviously makes life significantly easier than if I was working! Low standards are my tip. We don't own an iron. All washing gets done together, we don't separate by colours (low temperature so we've never had a problem).

Now he's working from home DH drops off the eldest at school (taking the youngest with him) in the morning which gives me chance to wash the dishes and do a very quick vacuum. I prep dinner whilst my youngest gets on with a load of colouring, but I tend to do batches so that at least 3 times a week we have something prepped in advance from the freezer. Youngest still has a nap which gives me chance to do some of the admin jobs which are impossible otherwise. Bathroom is cleaned every so often whilst they're in the bath. Then toys are tidied at the end of the day. Our house isn't gleaming, but it's ok and I get a really good chunk of 'quality' time with the kids not doing chores so it seems to work for now.

Oh and as with others, still struggling for time to myself. DH does every other bedtime which gives me a bit of time alone at least.

The other thing that's helped is decluttering. I've been gradually getting rid of loads of our stuff, which has oddly made life much easier. Having less clothes forces me not to let washing build up. Less stuff in general means less mess for the kids to make.