If you're an organised parent with 2 or more DCs can you please share your wisdom?

[cutepugmug]

If you've a clean home, rarely run out of clean socks, don't forget picture day and have some time to yourself without your whole entity just being "mum" or "dad" can you please share your top tips?

I'm just about holding it together with 2 and one hasn't even hit primary yet. My house isn't particularly clean or clutter free which makes me struggle to focus. If I do focus on cleaning/tidying then it inadvertently takes over the day and I end up shoving DC2 in front of the iPad to let me get on which is pretty crap. I'm finding myself being enveloped trying to be this "mum" I have in my head, cleaning the house, cooking meals, washing dishes, doing the laundry and generally chasing my own tail rarely sitting down properly with my toddler or giving myself time to have some "me" time. And I still manage to forget wellies for dc1s school walk, forget to iron school shirts and call the garage about a funny sound in my car that's been there slightly too long for comfort now. We have been planning for DC3 and I'd love to start trying but I'm worried about keeping myself organised and on top of things.

In reality I hate having this messy house as my mind is just clouded. But I also loathe spending ages trying to clean and tidy though as I should be making sure I'm spending time with DCs. I don't know how to make it manageable and not forget other admin and organisation. And most importantly I don't know how to balance it all with a bit of self care and down time so I can feel like a woman every now and then not just a "mum". FYI I love being a mum and my DCs but I don't want it to be all that I am if anyone understands what I'm trying to say.

Any tips and advice on how to balance the above would be very very helpful!

If it isn’t written in biro on the wall planner it doesn’t exist- my husband now understands after 5children he can’t suddenly decide to go for a long bike ride -he didn’t WRITE IT IN BIRO in a free place on the wall planner!

I think I kind of fit the category ... On a good day!

Tips that work for me-
*20 min approx blitz tidy up every evening straight after the kids go to bed before I sit down and chill.
*Everything has a place at home, makes it easier to tidy up if you know where everything goes.
*laying out all clothes the night before (kids and me). Also making sure school bags etc and ready and lunches made and in fridge.
*Family calendar which is the hub of all info. Write stuff on it straight away when school newsletter/emails come in so I don't forget.
*Very set bedtime routine for kids and general life following a pretty set routine.
*One load of washing every day.
*Decide what is important what isn't - as others have said I never iron, it's not on my priority list.
*Have to credit a competent husband too, we each have our jobs we usually do and I don't have to badger him. It's very much a team effort.

If you are into YouTube videos there are some on this subject too - I like Kallie Brancifort's and I know Emily Norris has done some too.

Minimal stuff and good storage.

Used to do a laundry load most days hang it up to dry on the hangers and just pants/socks to tumble drier. No ironing and minimal clothing. Once dry the clothes could go straight in the wardrobe.

The DC sorted pants and socks into piles and got put away in the evening. So zero piles of clean or dirty laundry and no ironing pile.

Little and often.

Everything written on wall calendar for nursery/school events. Pack everything the night before.

If the DC wanted desert (usually a custard cream biscuit) they had to go and tidy up - worked well for years that trick.

I gave up on house until I got them all into school

I don't have the 'me time' cracked.

But for organisation I'm lucky I work from home so washing gets done every day, a load in at 7am then hung up on a mid morning tea break.

Like others, the electronic calendar (Google calendar so it's free on our phones) everything goes in with one or two reminders. So for example charity dress down day there will be a notification the week before in case we need to prepare/buy fancy dress etc, then the evening before so the outfit gets put out, then on the morning to remind everyone.

Online food shopping, me and DH do alternative weeks menu planning. Menus get written on the white board in the kitchen. We try to batch cook some stuff, but the two nights a week DD has after school club until 6pm it's something quick like pasta, or beans on toast.

Cleaning we decluttered a lot this year and that has massively helped to keep on top of everything. We have a cordless Hoover and just wipe round bathroom every day. Again working from home helps as can dust one room a day .

I do the organised bit but don't really have any downtime and frequently feel overwhelmed.

I work full time as does DH and we have 3 children.
House stays pretty tidy in the week as we aren't (in usual times!) here much!
I also have a cleaner once a week.
I meal plan and do click and collect shop once a week and also have a milk man.

I have four washing baskets so clothes are sorted as they are taken off so I can just throw a load in as and when. Wfh at the moment helps with washing.
I don't iron unless absolutely necessary.

Bags are packed night before. Clothes out ready. I have enough school uniform for the week so only need to wash it at weekend. Girls 9 and 7 can do their own hair.

All commitments are in my calendar on my phone, all letter from school on the fridge

And amazon prime!!!
If it's fancy dress order as soon as you get the letter, party invite order a present straight away.

My DH is good at doing things but my main gripe is that he has to be asked. If I have to ask I still have to think about it!!
Eg please can do you the online shop? Yes will do, what do we need this week???
If I have to tell you I might as well do it myself!

I work from home.

You plan everything. Have alarms, timers etc.

Friday I make sure the house/clothes are so ne for the weekend, just like Mondays I fix the after of the weekend. Lunch boxes are always prepped the night before. Dinner is always approx the same time however the kids eat at one time and us later because of dh being at work but there are three of them and I talk to them while they eat. Homework is done while I’m cooking even if they need extra help they can come ask.

I don’t involve dh too much as like op he will offer to help but I then have to explain exactly what’s needed like he can’t see a full washing basket or something.

Knock out reading by reading the youngest story to both younger two and then middle can also read alone or read to me and sibling. Oldest is in secondary now so they just read whenever they want.

4 DC we also had 4 baskets for dirty laundry
Whites/lights
Darks
Red/purple
Specials aka anything DH isn't to wash...

If something needs ironing don't buy it.

6 dc, dh works 4 x 12 he night shifts, I work 10 hrs a week. There's an 18 yr age gap between oldest & youngest. To be honest, I just do it! It's amazing how you can just get into a routine- clothes out, lunches made the night before, all washing on in the morning & either line or tumble dried during the day, then 10 minutes sort & put away, quick wipe down everywhere everyday & full cleans on a weekend morning. To be honest I'm shattered by 9pm but I don't mind as I want to have that time to do exercise at 6.30am to make me feel better! It's all in the routine & planning!

You obviously think life with one child is piss easy so I suggest you choose your favourite and sell the other

A basket in each room to chuck stuff in so at least at the end of the day it appears to be a tidy home at least.

Lower standards.

Have a big monthly or weekly calendar on the wall for you and DH to see exactly what is needed each day and also plan for a few days in advance, birthdays or activities etc. Ours is colour coded but makes life so much easier.

Annual reminders on phone for all birthdays with a week's notice to allow time to arrange card/present.

If something needs to be taken out the following day put it by the front door so one less thing to do in the morning rush. E.g. book bag, PE kit

Uniform including underwear tights etc all hung up on a separate peg in kids rooms.

Mine are 6 and 4 - in the mornings when they are ready to leave after breakfast and brushing teeth, they sit on a designated stool by the front door with shoes/coat on and wait for me. Sounds like a minor thing but has made a huge difference. Each kid stops roaming around when they are ready and means getting out the door is far less stressful.

Batch cook.

Online grocery delivery only to save time.

Meal plan on a Sunday then arrange weekly shop based on this.

Not environmentally friendly but to save your sanity. Have a pack of disposable cleaning wipes for the bathroom. Use one wipe every time you're in there. Means a big clean can wait a bit longer.

If possible clean bathroom while kids are in the bath.

Do washing daily and set it to finish in the morning. Hang up while kids eat breakfast.

Buy the Lakeland plug in air dryer thingy. Clothes dry kind of ironed if hung up properly. Otherwise no ironing unless formal wear.

For self care - get a basket for bedside table. Out your creams lotion potions, nail file polish etc in there. More likely to get used.

Self care - get IPL or the Phillips lumea, worth it in the long run.

Have a basket by the front door for charity stuff, clothes not needed anymore etc

A cordless stick hoover thingy attached to wall.

A cleaner if you can afford it and ask them to do big annoying jobs like wipe down all kitchen units in and/or out. Empty and clean fridge etc.

Again if you can, gardener or laundry service. So worth it in the early days and it's temporary until kids are a bit bigger.

When you're having a shower, 5 mins before spray the shower or bath and let it soak. Spend the first few minutes of your shower in it but cleaning and it will be easier. You then shower and come out clean and it only took a few mins extra as opposed a separate bigger job.

Get takeaway once a week

Marie Kondo or get rid of one thing a day for a month. Less stuff means less tidying!

For me and DH, all our underwear is black. That includes socks, pants, knickers, bra, tights. We wash that all together and no need to sort his socks or do separate loads.

Once the youngest is in school it becomes a lot easier!

Last one!

A WhatsApp group for just me and DH for reference stuff.

E.g. school letters, take a pic and we both have a copy, school holiday dates, PDFs of bills, general stuff that needs to be done or remembered or kept just in case. The search function and the fact we both have access to everything means we can split chores easily

I've always been extremely organised. Any school letters I dealt with immediately and put dates for mufti etc in phone and on calendar, and immediately ordered a mufti Victorian outfit/shepherd outfit from eBay. In fact I generally deal with all things immediately, then never have to give them a second thought.
I batched cooked 62 meatballs at a time. I have 3 freezers. I worked part time. I put on loads of washing regularly. I cleaned, gave a quick hoover and a tidy, just so that things looked presentable. I had plenty of me time.

Well we have 3 at primary and both full work time, I can’t help you with the last bit about ‘me’ time as that would prob need to be at 3am or something BUT the rest ....

Minimise - we sent LOTS of stuff to charity, only have stuff around you really love. So less to clean and we honestly don’t lose stuff in this house
Everything in its place - childrn put shoes in shoe cabinet as soon as they walk in etc
Electronic diary shared with DH - for PE day, ballet exam etc
On line food order- we did this before cv anyway
Gardener once a month - so we just do the fun planting
Cleaner - once a week
Milkman - had before cv
DH puts a wash on on the evening, 6 year old puts it in the dryer in the morning

They are our main things

I second what the pp said - deal with things immediately too, party invite (in the old days) , check calendar, check with child, reply, amazon order gift, done !

I have 3 children, work and am also studying. Dh works really long hours in a physical job so I end up doing mostly everything.

My top tips are:
I don't iron anything
Hello fresh boxes for super busy week (works out cheaper than my usual frequent trips to supermarket)
I have a large drum washing machine so I can put it LOADS on one wash.
Everything goes into the calender on my phone and it's as a widget on my home screen.

Use amazon prime a lot
Always get up a bit earlier than everyone, I have a cup of tea and look at what I need for the day. By the time everyone is up, I'm calm, organised and ready for the day.
Super decluttering. I cannot emphasis this enough. My house can't get messy as there's not a lot in it!

Routine! I’m a SAHM and I have one in school and 2 under 3. Get everyone’s clothes out the night before and make packed lunches.
The toddlers have a really good routine, we’re always busy straight from the school run until 12 then it’s lunch. Then they nap 12.30-2.30 during which I clean/tidy & make dinner and usually manage half an hour watching tv or reading with a cuppa and a biscuit (s)
They wake up for the school run, come home playtime until DH gets in from work, have dinner, books & puzzles, bath & bedtimes and all in bed for 7.30.

Its sometimes rubbish having such a strict routine and sometimes we do bend it and meet friends in the afternoon instead but I do try and stick to it and just make morning /early lunch plans as it makes such a difference. When we don’t stick to the routine it throws naps and bedtimes out and I have to make dinner after school and everything just generally goes to shit!

Yeah, same as pp's really.
Family calendar (paper version). If it's not on the calendar, it's not official.
Handle admin, bills etc as soon as they come in.
DH and I have a strict division of labour when it comes to admin so he handles a category (eg all doctors and dentist stuff) and I do all school admin.
Get kids to take responsibility for their stuff (as reasonable for their age).

I'm also quite forgiving of standards, if I haven't got time to clean the bathroom today I do it tomorrow, beans on toast is a perfectly acceptable meal once in a while, etc

@cutepugmug

Have you ever heard of the organised mum method? Her motto is "there's more to life than housework", she's written a book called the organised mum method about how to make cleaning manageable by doing a bit a day (she says 30 minutes a day, but I only do about 15 minutes in total, and you can start delegating to the kids and your DH if he needs prompting). I've changed her routine a lot but it's printed out on the fridge so it's obvious what needs doing each day and makes it manageable. She's also just written a book called the organised time technique which is meant to get your life "running like clockwork", but I haven't read that yet.

But her blog is free:
www.theorganisedmum.blog/free-printables/

She's also on Instagram and facebook.

Oh and she advocates setting a timer, I find it actually really helps me to stay focused. So maybe tell yourself you'll declutter 10 minutes a day, rather than a big all in one go effort if it makes you feel guilty to spend all day doing it?

I have a magnetic meal planner for the week on my fridge door and a whiteboard in the kitchen with a list of things to do and a paper calendar on the other side, I have found this helps me to be a bit more organised.

It's a really hard age. Mine are now year 4 and year 2 and the amount of clutter does reduce.

I found the house mess really hard to deal with but never solved the problem and it is better now so there is light at the end of the tunnel (apart from DC3! 🙂)

The real reason I cope though is because DH works part time and does all the thinking and planning and I occasionally empty the compost caddy into the compost bin.

You haven't mentioned the DCs' father at all and there presumably is one if you are considering DC3. What's his role in all this?

All children’s clothes put into outfit piles including underwear and socks as they are ironed. Enough clothes to last a week. Wash when the weather is good so can line dry
Slow cooker/ easy prep/ weekly take away and ready meal cut down on food prep. If going out for the day at weekend car loadedthe day before including the picnic lunch (left in the fridge).
Cleaner on da fortnight some times I clean along sided her so double cleaning gets done.
Lower standards
Online super market order. Start Christmas shopping early and use a gifts list app
Pack school bags the night before
Help from oh.
Keep a supply of birthday/thank you cards and emergency suit anyone presents.
A really well stocked car with ling life snacks spare clothes etc.
Accept that every so often despite meticulous planning there will be a monumental cock up.