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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School contact and parents evenings??

147 replies

Jigglypuffler · 06/10/2020 19:07

Obviously, totally appreciate schools are doing the best they can due to covid, bubbles etc etc.

We are getting very minimal/next to no contact from DC's school (primary/infant), and this has been the case since March. We've now been told there won't be an autumn parents evening of any kind as normal (either f2f, phone or virtual), but we will receive a written report instead, and that if we have concerns we can contact school to discuss.

AIBU to feel that this isn't OK, and while I appreciate the restrictions this school is working within, that there must be some way of allowing more of a dialogue between teachers and parents? We have no idea how DC are doing - we're just guessing based on the reading books they're bringing home, there's no homework or anything similar coming back. I know a report will give some answers, but it gives us no opportunity to ask questions (both ways) or obtain any further understanding. I also think only having a discussion if there's a concern isn't particularly helpful for any of us - it feels like conversations will only happen in a negative context instead of with a more rounded and holistic approach.

I always worry I'm being 'that' parent if I object to their approach, even though sometimes I know it's OK to be that parent and to want to have more contact between us and the school... AIBU to want to say something?

OP posts:
MarjorytheTrashHeap · 06/10/2020 19:12

We are doing ours over the phone, which seems reasonable. I guess it might be harder for bigger schools to find enough phones, although some staff may be happy using mobiles if they have enough call time in their contract.

JoanApple · 06/10/2020 19:14

What do you suggest?

If I had 2 year groups that's 60+ phone calls, and without the 5 minute timeslot no doubt the calls will overrun. How reasonable is this?

If you have concerns, contact the school. If they have concerns, they will contact you. Otherwise all is well for the next 6 months and there will be parents' evenings next academic year.

TCMcK · 06/10/2020 19:17

We’re having ours virtually next week. Then we’re having another one in February.

Mayvis · 06/10/2020 19:17

I am expecting a phone call instead of the traditional parents evening appointment (primary).

We have had no home communication, both my children have new teachers who I haven’t even met. Their school hasn’t actually said what they are planning yet though.

trinity0097 · 06/10/2020 19:18

We’ve been successfully running socially distanced parents’ evenings - 3 so far this term and another tomorrow night.

Wilbedon · 06/10/2020 19:20

Both my DC's schools are having parents' evenings over the phone.

I am very grateful that they are going to so much effort to let parents know how their children are getting on.

MsAwesomeDragon · 06/10/2020 19:20

Dd's primary school are doing phone appointments this week. So I'll get the chance to speak to her teacher. Still no idea what he looks like, but that's far less important than the conversation.

My secondary school are doing "intervention evenings" rather than full parents evenings. So any pupil we think needs a conversation will get one, but it will be with form tutor or head of year rather than a conversation with each one of their teachers. Parents can request an appointment, but the majority will be pupils identified by school as having some sort of issue we'd like to discuss with their parents. I don't know how that's been received by the parents, but that's what SLT have decided on for this year.

tootiredtothinkofanewname · 06/10/2020 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theowlwhowasafraidofthedark · 06/10/2020 19:22

My children are at 2 different schools (primary/secondary, private/state) and both have done video call parents evenings. There is a counter on the call which shows how long there is before the call cuts off. Much better than in person parent evening IMHO

FellWanderer · 06/10/2020 19:23

They have said you can contact them after you have read the report. Just give them a ring. I'm really not sure what the issue is.

Notplannedforthis · 06/10/2020 19:24

YANBU.

I think the benefit of having a good relationship with parents can be overlooked by schools. If I know vaguely what my DCs are learning at school, I can support them better at home. As it is, we're very much kept in the dark at our school and it meant that, when lockdown happened, we had no idea what our kids were learning.

We have slightly better than you. 5 minute telephone calls, but I can't really see what can be achieved in 5 minute timeslots. There's no time in between slots for teachers to dial or anything, so will be less than 5 minutes in reality.

lazylinguist · 06/10/2020 19:25

but it gives us no opportunity to ask questions

But you can ask questions- you can contact the school, they said so. I'd be perfectly happy with a written report tbh.

Percypiglets · 06/10/2020 19:28

They should be set up for virtual parents evenings like high schools by now.... We have to do them up to 7 evenings a year, one for each year group.

TracyMosby · 06/10/2020 19:28

How do your children do their homework? My maths? Purple mash? Show my homework?
What is on the class page of their school website?

Lilybet1980 · 06/10/2020 19:30

@JoanApple

What do you suggest?

If I had 2 year groups that's 60+ phone calls, and without the 5 minute timeslot no doubt the calls will overrun. How reasonable is this?

If you have concerns, contact the school. If they have concerns, they will contact you. Otherwise all is well for the next 6 months and there will be parents' evenings next academic year.

Why is a 5 minute phone call any different to trying to cram in 5 minute conversations under normal circumstances? And surely it takes as long to write the report as it would to say it in a conversation?

OP my guess is the school did a rubbish job of remote learning pre summer and don’t want to face the difficult conversations with parents?

OhCaptain · 06/10/2020 19:34

Give them a break, is my suggestion.

Why do you need dialogue? If there’s a problem I’m sure you’ll be told. Other than that, be glad of the report and remember that teachers are human too and are trying to do their job under incredible circumstances.

doctorhamster · 06/10/2020 19:34

I think for this year you just have to adopt a "no news is good news" stance op. If the school had any concerns they would contact you.

OnCandyStripeLegs · 06/10/2020 19:38

We've had a video presentation covering what they are going to be doing, and a 5 minute phone call for primary.

For secondary there's also been a zoom introduction for the year, plus they are going to use SchoolCloud for parents evenings.

m0therofdragons · 06/10/2020 19:43

Give them a break, is my suggestion

Why? Why can some schools get this together but those do don’t engage with parents are allowed to because we have to give them a break?

My dc schools are all doing virtual parents Evenings so the OP is totally justified. With many of us concerned our dc are behind and wanting expert advice from their teachers as to where their gaps are I think it’s completely fair to ask for this. I’m not saying this isn’t hard on the teachers but please show my one person who has not had to struggle due to the pandemic. My work is so much harder but I still have to do it.

Lilybet1980 · 06/10/2020 19:45

@OhCaptain

Give them a break, is my suggestion.

Why do you need dialogue? If there’s a problem I’m sure you’ll be told. Other than that, be glad of the report and remember that teachers are human too and are trying to do their job under incredible circumstances.

And maybe remember that parents are human too, and it’s perfectly natural to wonder how your kids are getting on and to want a discussion with their teacher.

I’m amazed that some schools think this is acceptable. There is no reason they can’t do a quick phone call with each parent (as all the schools doing this are demonstrating). What happened to encouraging parents to take an active role in education?!

snowballer · 06/10/2020 19:46

We've had ours on Zoom - bog standard state primary. It worked brilliantly. One zoom call for the whole lot, teacher lets in the next parent at the right time. Was right on time and no run overs

snowballer · 06/10/2020 19:47

(And also avoided any time lost in ending call/dialling next call etc)

snowballer · 06/10/2020 19:49

@OhCaptain

Give them a break, is my suggestion.

Why do you need dialogue? If there’s a problem I’m sure you’ll be told. Other than that, be glad of the report and remember that teachers are human too and are trying to do their job under incredible circumstances.

Totally disagree with this. It's difficult to talk to teachers at the moment and I think some face to face time is important. And completely achievable by a number of different means.
OhCaptain · 06/10/2020 19:49

My work is so much harder but I still have to do it.

@m0therofdragons they are doing their jobs.

Schools are open and they’re educating their students.

That is their job.

newwnamme · 06/10/2020 19:50

I learned today that I am expected to choose a school for my dd based on an estate agent style 'virtual tour' on the school website, so I guess you can be thankful that at least you wont be doing that?

Seriously though, ywnbu to ask for more communication. It's part of the teachers job to do this.