School contact and parents evenings??

[Jigglypuffler]

Obviously, totally appreciate schools are doing the best they can due to covid, bubbles etc etc.

We are getting very minimal/next to no contact from DC's school (primary/infant), and this has been the case since March. We've now been told there won't be an autumn parents evening of any kind as normal (either f2f, phone or virtual), but we will receive a written report instead, and that if we have concerns we can contact school to discuss.

AIBU to feel that this isn't OK, and while I appreciate the restrictions this school is working within, that there must be some way of allowing more of a dialogue between teachers and parents? We have no idea how DC are doing - we're just guessing based on the reading books they're bringing home, there's no homework or anything similar coming back. I know a report will give some answers, but it gives us no opportunity to ask questions (both ways) or obtain any further understanding. I also think only having a discussion if there's a concern isn't particularly helpful for any of us - it feels like conversations will only happen in a negative context instead of with a more rounded and holistic approach.

I always worry I'm being 'that' parent if I object to their approach, even though sometimes I know it's OK to be that parent and to want to have more contact between us and the school... AIBU to want to say something?

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Oh and for a larger primary school is it not possible to have only 1 class teacher doing a parents evening per day & spread them through the year? The point being it feels like some schools are saying "here are the reasons why we can't do it in our usual way." not "we will find a way to do it, it will be different but it is possible".

There are 21 classes in my school so this would take weeks. It means that parents would be in school every day which affects staff and department meetings (we have 3 a week already by Zoom.)

Exactly the same information can be given to parents by Zoom or a telephone call reducing the risks for all. We are even sending children’s work home so parents can see their child’s progress.

If it is deemed too risky for me to be the only person sitting wearing a mask in the waiting room of a dental surgery at the moment then it is too dangerous for me to see 31 sets of parents in my classroom who may or may not choose to wear a mask.

Oh and for a larger primary school is it not possible to have only 1 class teacher doing a parents evening per day & spread them through the year? The point being it feels like some schools are saying "here are the reasons why we can't do it in our usual way." not "we will find a way to do it, it will be different but it is possible

Look chatting to the teacher is important but why on earth are you expecting schools to go to such ridiculous lengths to hold face to face meetings when it's not at all necessary and in fact creates more danger of shutting down bubbles and having kids back at home?

There is nothing that can be discussed face to face but not on zoom and actually zoom is much more convenient for most working parents. I could have a 10 minute zoom chat at work or home without having to get time off or arrange a babysitter.

If a parent would see an issue and not bother following up with something as easy as a phone call then whatever would have been said in a face-to-face meeting would have had little impact anyway. If they won't even pick up a phone, they certainly won't act on given feedback.*

I disagree entirely. Obviously some parents are truly rubbish, and don't bother with parents evening at the best of times. I would still argue that it is important to try and reach them rather than just shrugging shoulders.

Many, many other parents just aren't really that aware of what is average, what are the warning signs they should be aware of or how to translate teacher speak in written reports. These aren't bad parents. These are parents that are willing to put extra effort in, they just need a bit of clear direction, which works better in a conversation than a letter.

@LolaSmiles

My point is this ISNT an inset day. We had all those listed at the start of the year and I've booked those as annual leave which is fine. This is an ADDITIONAL day they've now said there will be no teaching on because they are going to do their 5 minute phone calls throughout the day and children will have to be home! It's a reception class for gods sake - not like reception teachers are working extra hours every night marking home work (where I can understand teachers throwing In the ring all the extra hours of marking they do at night!) 🤷‍♀️

ivfbeenbusy
It's worth clarifying that your DC are getting the 190 days of term time then. I'd be asking the school that.

In defence of Reception teachers though, you're right they're not drowning in marking, but the level of planning and EYFS tracking they do is unbelievable. I'd rather have my stacks of marking, though I'm sure reception teachers would rather have their planning than my marking load.

I don’t think many people are insisting that they should have FTF meetings. I think most are very correctly pointing out that the least the schools can do is offer zoom or phone parents’ consultations. It is not good enough to do anything less. Written reports CANNOT be thorough enough to replace ten minutes of conversation between parent and teacher, they just can’t.
Teachers are busy but why is doing zoom etc any harder than WHAT THEY NORMALLY DO? I don’t get it. And btw teachers are not the only ones who are exhausted. Many many working parents are on their knees. Many of us have also worked evenings. We would like to communicate with our children’s teachers (remotely!) and I’m frankly pissed off with people suggesting this is in any way unreasonable.

That's my thinking exactly @YouSetTheTone but I still can't decide whether to say something now, just about the fact it isn't really enough in principle, or wait until the report is out and just ask for a phone call anyway and force what would have essentially have been a parents consultation anyway?!

So, the school said they will send out a written report instead of parents evening. Following the written report, parents who want to can have a follow up discussion. You have said this isn’t good enough.

And what you've just said is you options are:

1. to complain to them that a written report followed by a discussion isn't really enough, or
2. wait until the report is out and just ask for a phone call anyway and force what would have essentially have been a parents consultation anyway?! Which is literally what they've offered, and is actually more than you would have got before any changes.

This is bonkers. The school have offered an extra written report and a follow up conversation for parents who want it. Usually you just get the conversation. So they are doing more than normal.

What exactly do you want? Do you not want the report at all and you just want the phone call?

@Jigglypuffler

I don't really understand what you'd be complaining about? Wouldn't you just look really silly? They've offered a phone cosultation to those who want it - what more do you actually want?

I agree that a written report isn't the same as a two way conversation but since you have the option of getting that two way conversation (it just isn't the default) I really can't imagine what 'isn't enough'?

I think ‘what isn’t enough’ is almost more the attitude of it than anything else? At op’s school they’ve pre-emptively decided to ward off conversation by going in and saying they’d do written reports as a first line. If most parents decide they want to discuss the report and go on to make contact with the school then they’ve actually doubled their workload as well, so it’s a bit daft all round.
If I was you @Jigglypuffler I think I’d wait for the report then follow up as offered. It’ll look better as you're taking them up on their offer rather than making any point. You never know, maybe that report will be so long and helpful you won’t have to...

I think that's what I'm likely to do @YouSetTheTone - and thank you for helping me dissect and articulate what I mean 😂

To the others - I can see what you mean, however it sounds like maybe you've either not read in full or have misunderstood me. I'm just disappointed in their approach for a variety of reasons I have already outlined, as are many other parents at the school.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

I dont understand why primary schools can't do socially distanced parents evenings. A single teacher in their own classroom, parents enter one household at a time and are seated 2+ metres away. These are adults, so masks can be worn and everyone asked to wash hands etc before entering. It's a very low risk scenario, lower risk that supermarket shopping etc. Its not a group scenario, there's almost no chance of physical contact, no sport etc so no heavy breathing.

If teachers can't manage that, they really are making excuses to sack off.

Are you planning for them to teleport into the classroom, or come through the window possibly? Lots of parents all walking through the corridors at the same time, no I can't think of anything that could go wrong with that! Zoom is not a perfect option for all, not all LAs allow the use of zoom at work for security reasons. We could use teams - I wonder would the parents with no decent tech (or any) mind? I wonder would the school WiFi cope with so many simultaneous video calls? Probably not. Maybe the government will give us money to upgrade the facilities in schools so we can. 😂🤣😂

My kids all have Teams via school. I’ve been told that on Parents Eve, the teachers will call us for a 5 min slot on our child’s Teams account and we will chat with camera and mikes on.
There is a risk of it all running over but that’s no different to when the evenings happen in person.

It sounds fine to me and everyone can do it from home.

Schools do vary in attitude generally I find. Some are very much ,can’t do, won’t do’ and are very defeatist...was the case before COVID and still now. Others are much more looking for solutions and have an attitude of ‘will find a way...might be a different way but will find something’.

I think parents need some contact but the form it takes can vary. A written report with offer of follow up chat if needed is actually fine. Nothing isn’t fine.

I think we should try to remember too that teachers might be working harder than usual because of COVID. I think lots who are having year groups go home or individuals go home and doing dual teaching - so kids in school and at home both at same time. There are lots of cleaning roles falling in teachers (according to the ones I know) and other things related to Covid. Some schools still seem to be open longer with staggered start and end times so people are in school longer and still needing to do their work they do at home. But schools should communicate about these things.

I’d also say, if you need a conversation, just get in touch and ask and do t wait for parents evening. I don’t think there will ever be a time when they refuse you a conversation if you need it...but it will be by phone I’d imagine, but I can’t see a problem with that.

@Jigglypuffler have you had the report yet? What did you think?

For what it's worth my dc is also at a small Infants school and also chose to just send a (very brief, general/generic) report out as a first line of defence and I wasn't best pleased. Older dc at Juniors had a 10 min video call for parents eve last week and it was brilliant. Totally agree a one-sided report cannot replace a 10 min video call.

We have as our line of communication - one staff member stood near the gate with a pad of post-it notes. You are invited to approach the Bearer of the Sacred Post It Notes who will hear your pleas for teacher liason and inscribe them upon the Sacred Scroll of Repositionable Memo Note Equipment and then ceremonially bear the Scared Scroll toward the teacher as an offering to the "please let the photocopier work today gods". Then the teacher may deign to read it... and come up to the bloody school gate anyway. I nearly piss myself laughing at this ridiculousness every single day.

I'm actually, joking about the post it notes aside, fucked off with the whole thing with our school. They were great during lockdown but since then they have reverted to being utterly shite with communication, but times a thousand. There's no attempt to get the provision they promised for DD2's SEN into place and email attempts at contact run with a 10 working day turnaround from the office. I want to work WITH the school but they're just being shit to the point I'm considering exploring alternative schools for her.

Our state primary is using Zoom for parent evening. Homework and spellings are set weekly on a platform and uploaded weekly there. Books come home every night to read (year 2) and are then quarantined for 72 hours in school. Maths tests and spelling tests come home weekly. Teachers communicate on the platform every week responding to homework. You can also just contact them on there anyway. Communication between home and school is vital for a child’s optimum development. It was excellent pre covid and is still excellent now in my DS’s state primary. At the beginning of each year parents and children are asked to write a letter to the new teacher about themselves/any concerns/what they look forward to this year.

@AnonUser2018 we haven't had it yet - it'll either be the week before or after half term. Sorry yours wasn't up to much. Have you managed a follow up with your school?

The two way element of a parents evening or consultation is so important and the main part of what I feel is missing from this approach. I'm trying to hold on until we've had the report before contacting the school, but it's difficult. I've been told by another mum that we're meant to have a written comment in the reading log from the teacher once per week minimum, but we've had one comment all term so far. So my confidence in what to expect is currently low.

@Jigglypuffler so sorry to hear that I also think it's really bad you can't email the teacher directly. That's our school's saving grace tbh. I emailed ds's amazing teacher in the first week or so to thank her for being so lovely and helping him settle (he is 6 and has anxiety), and we've kept the emails going weekly/fortnightly which has been a godsend. Just a couple of sentences each way but helps me feel like I know her a bit better so can relax and know he's in safe hands. So I haven't requested a phone call following the brief report.

If you are feeling a bit disconnected and a little anxious then I would recommend calling and asking to have a chat to the teacher asap. I'm sure they'll be lovely and put any fears to rest, or just fill in some gaps. If I were you I'd want to have this chat before half term otherwise it'll just play on your mind (you sound like a lovely caring parent btw).

Our primary school was not great when the schools were shut. They are doing well with communication now. Staff can be contacted direct on the Dojo app and I have a 10 minute video consultation on Teams tomorrow. I think the school got a lot of complaints about the patchy provision in lockdown. Some teachers were brilliant abc others were not existent. They seem to be rectifying it now.

Thank you @AnonUser2018 that's a kind thing to say 😊 I'm not anxious about anything in particular, just more feeling very much in the dark and frustrated about the principle of the communication strategy, so given that I'm going to await the report and then request a follow up call. Unless anything changes, obviously!

Some people can be on a Mumsnet AIBU thread and be kind... It's just kinda rare

I counted all the words in the report yesterday... 107 and 5 of those were ds's name Only covers settling in (well), maths (generic) and English (very good) then has a generic paragraph about what topic they're learning about.

I'd still recommend a quick chat to the school to get some feedback before half term. Our children had 6mo of education at a really scary time. It's not unreasonable to want a catch-up with the person who is now looking after them 30hrs a week (children are very different at home to school I find).

*6mo OFF education (rushing)