School contact and parents evenings??

[Jigglypuffler]

Obviously, totally appreciate schools are doing the best they can due to covid, bubbles etc etc.

We are getting very minimal/next to no contact from DC's school (primary/infant), and this has been the case since March. We've now been told there won't be an autumn parents evening of any kind as normal (either f2f, phone or virtual), but we will receive a written report instead, and that if we have concerns we can contact school to discuss.

AIBU to feel that this isn't OK, and while I appreciate the restrictions this school is working within, that there must be some way of allowing more of a dialogue between teachers and parents? We have no idea how DC are doing - we're just guessing based on the reading books they're bringing home, there's no homework or anything similar coming back. I know a report will give some answers, but it gives us no opportunity to ask questions (both ways) or obtain any further understanding. I also think only having a discussion if there's a concern isn't particularly helpful for any of us - it feels like conversations will only happen in a negative context instead of with a more rounded and holistic approach.

I always worry I'm being 'that' parent if I object to their approach, even though sometimes I know it's OK to be that parent and to want to have more contact between us and the school... AIBU to want to say something?

And OP has said that if there are any concerns after the report that parents can contact the school and discuss.

So why not do that?

Both the school I teach at and DS's school are doing parents meetings via videolink. The time limit is set for each meeting so no danger of running over, and it's run very smoothly so far. Very easy to do. I would be expecting either that or phone calls - there's no reason why one or the other can't happen, surely.

You will get more info from a proper written report than a 5 minute chat. It is infant school for goodness sake. If you already thought there were issues no doubt you would have raised them.

If there are issues that arise from the written report they have already invited contact. I can't see the issue personally.

I’m a primary teacher. We are doing written reports instead of parents evening. I wouldn’t mind if a parent asked me to call them to give them an update. I’ve spoken to my own child’s teacher on the phone 3 times already this term! Turns out I’m just the sort of parent I’d hate in my class! 😂

Interesting to read the various replies - thanks. A few thoughts / responses back.

The problem I have with the way they are approaching it is that we have no direct line to the teacher. We have to email any questions to the secretary who will pass them on and send back replies. It's still not a direct dialogue, and the opportunity to ask questions as part of a conversation allows understanding to develop more naturally.

As mention in my OP, I feel like if the conversations are only happening when we have a concern or issue, it's not the same as having a more open chat with no agenda. My experience of reports has been they are very generic, a bit wishy washy and don't really tell us much. It's just not the same and, I feel, not enough.

I do fully get that teachers don't have it easy this year, and I'm in no way teacher or school bashing. Doesn't mean I have to accept what I feel is a bad decision on some topics.

My DC school is very small - no more than 20 per class. So surely they could try and manage something SD more spread out, rather than crammed into two nights a week as normal?

We have no homework other than reading. No notes in contact books, no direct line between us and teacher, etc. The school used purple mash before summer but they aren't using it now. We have no idea what the class are doing (6 year olds aren't the most reliable informants 😂), and no gauge as to how on track they are, whether we are doing enough, can do more etc.

I also get that this year is odd, and yes we could assume no news is good news. But I'm worried that might be to their long term detriment, and feel a discussion with the school can help bridge that lack of understanding.

I want to just prod the decision to offer nothing a bit. Maybe it is a bit much to expect this year, but it's interesting to read the different viewpoints and circumstances where it is being managed.

Why do you need dialogue?

You have to ask this question in this year of all years? You can't think why a parent might want to talk to their child's teachers after everything that has happened (or not happened, depending on the school) last term and over the summer in terms of exam results?

Why do you need dialogue? If there’s a problem I’m sure you’ll be told

Seriously? You genuinely don't understand the need for two-way communication between school and home? You can't think of any reasons whatsoever why this might be beneficial for children?

I'm in the same boat as you, OP. I'm extremely underwhelmed by the way my DC's school has handled this entire situation and parent's evening has proven to be no exception. We are just getting written reports too and a half-hearted "call us if you need to discuss anything". It's piss poor frankly and I don't see why I should cut them any slack when so many of the rest of us have had to innovate in various ways to keep businesses going and make things happen. I work in another school and they have been far more dynamic in their approach. It is possible with effective leadership.

Also, as other PP's have said in response to the 'give them a break' - I'm not kicking off at all. But I'm allowed to want more open contact between us and DC's school. We have basically zero at the moment, which isn't enough.

We are doing them remotely, for all year groups, so I will expect to talk to the parents of nearly all the 375 kids I teach each week. We have six minute slots, in theory 5 with the parents, one min to finish off, make notes, move onto next. Calls cut off automatically after six minutes. Done over the internet rather than phone lines. The technology is available.
Particularly for such a young kid I would expect something similar.

@Boxachocs are you able to shed any light on why your school has taken this decision? It sounds like you, as a parent don’t agree with it?

As someone who writes reports for a living I would always rather give a verbal update than have to put pen to paper!

@Boxachocs my issue is that teachers say “please contact us if you’re concerned” but I feel really guilty doing so as I know you’re all busy. With parents evening I have 5-10 Mins of allocated time where I don’t have to feel guilty and like I’m asking the teacher to go above and beyond. Dtds are youngest in the year and home schooling them while dh and I worked full time was so hard I’ve genuinely no idea how they are doing and if my shoddy parenting and focus on work has seriously disadvantaged them. I guess I, like many others, need reassurance.

I think the offer of dialogue is there so no, I don’t see why it has to happen now.

After the report then the option is there. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh we got full written reports in July which were utterly pointless when the teachers hadn’t seen my dc for 4 months. What a waste of effort. I learned my dds are “lovely and thoughtful”.

You can ask for a chat if you have questions, and I think you should. Think up some questions if you need to be specific, even if they’re just basic ones. It’s not unreasonable to want to chat to the person who is responsible for your child’s education for five minutes just once in a term considering that a few months ago they were accessible twice a day for minor things.

My school is doing phone calls to parents because while it is a lot to expect of the teachers with it needing even more time than usual, it’s considered important.

@m0therofdragons that's a really good point about the guilt of taking up their time! And we had the same - summer reports which said absolutely FA because of the huge break in school.

We just had a zoom based parents (10 minute slot). Teachers also answer to emails within a day or so, so communication is excellent.
i assume we‘ll get a report in december as usual - we got one for the spring/summer term, but shorter than usual.
But the school is absolutely exceptional in more than one way, we are incredibly lucky.

@Lilybet1980
@m0therofdragons
I am not involved with the decision making in my school, the leadership team made the decision for written reports to go home. However if a parent asked for a phonecall I would happily chat to them and answer any questions.
My child attends a different school where they are doing video calls for parents evening. I said I had spoken to my child’s teacher on the phone just to let the OP know that it is possible and that if she wants to, she should phone them and ask for a call back. I was frustrated that I wasn’t getting any information from the school and I wanted to know how my daughter was doing. So I rang.
Not every parent will want this, but some will. I don’t think any primary teacher would mind a parent calling to see how their child is doing.

@NailsNeedDoing I think this is what will happen, it would just be nice given we've all lived through the weirdest year known to man to be invited to have this chat as we normally would, instead of feeling like we're being awkward asking for it. I think it really is important, and I'm disappointed the school haven't prioritised it because it is a bit harder.

Go for it OP, you’re right that you shouldn’t be made to feel awkward for expecting this. The teacher is likely to be understanding of that when you actually get to speak to them, they won’t have made the decision and you sound like you’re going to be nice.

@NailsNeedDoing thank you for the encouragement. I tend to be nicer about a situation if I have to raise an issue because of the awkwardness - maybe that will work in my favour this time 😂

I’d be disappointed in the school too if they were as difficult to contact as you say.

Our LA has completely banned any face to face contact, though we manage a quick hello everything ok in the morning as parents drop off. They can also contact us with a message on class dojo, or by email, or by asking for a phone call. Plus head & deputy are in playground every morning so parents can also talk to them if needed.

Contact with parents is really important.

In your shoes I’d be emailing the head and explaining how I felt about lack of phone appointment at least. Tbh as teacher I’d rather call than write report - calling is quicker! Feedback to them how you’re feeling & hopefully things may change. And if they don’t, I may well consider a different school.

Schools are required to provide 1 opportunity per year for parents to discuss progress. I’d guess by switching this one to written reports they think there’ll be able to provide a better experience at some other point in the year. And they are still required to provide that.

The schools doing 5 min phone calls have met that requirement and now don’t need to provide anything else.

I’d guess it mostly comes down to which option schools feel is better.

We've just had our Yr 7 form teacher consultant via video call. Went fine

I don’t understand why you need a “direct line” to the teacher, I am always told not to engage in emails directly with parents but to go through guidance- otherwise I’d be dealing with parental emails all day instead of teaching. That’s secondary though, I see almost 200 pupils daily.

If you have concerns or want to ask questions after the written report then email the school and ask if the teacher can call you. You’re well within your rights to and any decent teacher would be happy to have a discussion with you.

And just to add, I’d much rather do a parents evening than additional written report, they are far more helpful.

I don't need or want a direct line normally, and can totally understand why that wouldn't be ideal for teachers 😂 I guess in the absence of being offered a parents evening, which is our chance for an in person chat, I'm feeling the lack of direct contact more. If that makes sense?