AIBU MIL comment - SIL revelation?

[MrsWarleggan]

My MIL popped up today. We were having a cuppa and a general chit chat about life, work, money etc and I mentioned that I was absolutely knackered what with having to work an extra 8 hours on a Sunday to make up for DHs overtime being wiped out at work due to Covid. On top of 25hrs anyway, baby at home etc. Pre covid he came home with an extra £600 a month by putting the hours in, which really helped us out but last 4 months - nothing. I said to her that it was stressing me out and that we were robbing Peter to pay Paul. Her response was, "Well it is what it is, you just have to live within you means". I agreed you do, but at the moment it just feels like we are existing, not living (I didn't say that out loud).

Anyhoo, SIL called after MIL left. Again, more chatting about life in general and she said "Yeah you must really be feeling it without the overtime" I agreed and she turned round and said "Yeah it's really tough at the moment, if mum hadn't of given me £200 last week I don't know what I would have done. I almost couldn't go out on Saturday!

Ermm....?? So I'm sitting near on tears saying I didn't know if I could put petrol in my car next week to go to work and get told to get a grip its life... Yet SIL moans about not being able to go out on the piss and she gets bunged £200??

For the record I don't/didn't expect a hand out, but I'm miffed, is that unreasonable??

OneandZero

Are you on glue, the OP can post what she wants when she wants.

I know for a fact my parents have 'lent' my brother in excess of 20,000 at least. In your shoes I would be up in arms - but in reality I am indifferent. It is their money - their choice. I am sure they had their reasons (probably one that I would not agree with) but nonetheless you can not get involved in other people's lives/decisions and all the rest.

Step away from the drama, focus on your own life and don't overshare with your MIL or SIL. Find some boundaries of your own!

Does your MIL have a closer relationship with her daughter than with your husband?
Many sons make little effort with their mums I have observed. If this is the case it’s not surprising she doesn’t want to hand out money.

YANBU to be annoyed. Next time I'd probably not bother telling MIL much about my troubles. SIL seems worse, though. She didn't need to tell you about the money when she knows that you're struggling at the moment. That was either thoughtless or intentionally hurtful.

@Helendee

No far from it, she's his little soldier. She would still wipe his nose if she could!! 😂😂

@Devlesko

OneandZero

Are you on glue, the OP can post what she wants when she wants.

Did you mean to be so incredibly rude?

Maybe SIL was pleading poverty and MIL gave her the money not knowing it would be spent on a night out. Would you’re SIL really ask for £200 for a night out??

It is tough for both our children and their families, this bloody covid has caused to much worry for so many families. Keeps OH and I awake some nights.

These things happen.
I get upset and am unfortunately single at 58, I could easily say those in couples are better off than me, which they are.

@Nicolastuffedone

Not sure. Although MIL had the GK's so knew she was going out. Either way the fact she gave it to her doesn't bother me.

@justasking111

Agreed. It's bloody awful and at the moment I can't see an end to it at the moment 🙄

That makes no sense!! 😂

I can't see an end to it at the moment, is what I was trying to say!! 😂

@MrsWarleggan

That makes no sense!! 😂

I can't see an end to it at the moment, is what I was trying to say!! 😂

You do nothing. You tell MIL nothing either. Your husband doesn’t let his mother know his or your business so you shouldn’t either.

I think it’s because your sil is her daughter, and you aren’t. Had your DH said he was stuck financially she may have give him money. Maybe she asked him after her talk with you and he said you were both ok? My mil has given my DH money before, but never given it to me. DH has always invested the money in something for the both of us though, but it would never cross my mind to expect her to give me money tbh.

You're right in that it's up to mil what she spends her money on and who she gives it to. But it's a bit fucking rich for her to be quite cold and judgemental about you struggling.

You know, I'm with the OP on this. I would have been very hurt. As a parent you treat your children EQUALLY if you can. Therefore, the MIL should have given £100 to each of her children. That would have been fair!

If mil is financially in the position to do so, the fair thing to do would be to go to your DH and say that you had been chatting about things and as she knows you are struggling at the moment and as she gave SIL £200 here is £200 for you.