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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

thinking a friend trying to resell something she got from me is rude

110 replies

Chocice79 · 04/10/2020 01:59

I have a friend that I know known since we were kids. she has a teenage daughter who she now says went to change her name. I have started a bead bracelet business recently and since i know it not really my friends type of thing I ask her did she know anyone else who might be interested in my bracelets She then said she wanted to get one in honour of her daughter new name and with that initial on it as a gift to her. so we talked decided on colours the design. I gave it to her a couple of days ago and she paid for it but less then 2 nights later I'm seeing it up for sale on her husband profile on a selling site! worse still they are trying to make a profit in it! I'm just so mad as I made it as a gift it not like I forced my friend to buy it.What to now say to her as there is no way I not gonna say that I dont know.

OP posts:

Hopoindown31 · 04/10/2020 07:09

If it was a gift then fine you should feel bad. However, she was a paying customer so she can do what she likes. If she manages to sell it at the higher price then perhaps you should take a look at your pricing.

Fullof · 04/10/2020 07:26

She paid for it

She can do what she likes with it, even if it was a gift, which it wasn’t.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 04/10/2020 07:26

What to now say to her as there is no way I not gonna say that I dont know.

So... you’re not going to tell her you know? Or you’re not going to pretend you DON’T know?

It sounds like the daughter just didn’t like it. Or maybe your friend didn’t like it, but felt obliged to buy one. Personally if I was your friend I’d have just shoved it in a drawer rather than trying to sell it, but she’s not selling a gift. You claim to be upset because you made it as a gift, but it stopped being that when you charged her for it.

GnomeDePlume · 04/10/2020 07:34

YABU

She bought it so not a gift. It's hers to do with as she wants.

ClementineWoolysocks · 04/10/2020 07:38

I had no idea I was being gifted every time I paid for something! Once someone pays an item is theirs, they can do whatever the chuff they want with it after that.
You'll fail in business if you demand to know what happens to things after you sell them.

MiddleClassProblem · 04/10/2020 07:42

How did you find out so quickly? Are you stalking what they sell on sites?

StillCoughingandLaughing · 04/10/2020 07:43

That would explain why it’s the husband selling it. They probably thought there was less chance of the OP seeing his profile.

CodenameVillanelle · 04/10/2020 07:44

She paid for it. She probably didn't like it and didn't want to tell you so. Maybe your work isn't as good as you think?

DarkDarkNight · 04/10/2020 07:44

She probably bought it to be kind, to try to help you out, you’ve already acknowledged it isn’t her style. She’s probably had second thoughts about wasting money on things she doesn’t need. I would let it go. If she comes back for more you can raise it then.

IKEA888 · 04/10/2020 07:44

is be v upset by this
I think a conversation with her around the lines of ... did she not like the bracelet I see it's up for sale

MiddleClassProblem · 04/10/2020 07:45

And everyone should understand. When you buy something as a gift for someone else, you also receive joy from giving that thing. This joy is provided by the seller as a gift.

If when you give the gift, you do not receive the joy, you may leave a 1 star review...

lifesalongsong · 04/10/2020 07:52

@MiddleClassProblem

How did you find out so quickly? Are you stalking what they sell on sites?

If it's a Facebook selling page she maybe had the setting where it notifies you when a friend posts something. If that is what happens the friends husband should have blocked friends from the listing.

It does seem a bit odd that they would go to the hassle of listing it on the husbands profile unless it'sa very expensive bracelet, how much was it @Chocice79?

VettiyaIruken · 04/10/2020 07:56

Yabu.
She can do what she likes with an item she purchased.
If she can make a little extra, well, welcome to business 😁

You need to separate yourself into two entities. You as an individual and you the business.

There's no place for hurt feelings in business.

Nikori · 04/10/2020 08:02

It does seem a bit odd that they would go to the hassle of listing it on the husbands profile unless it'sa very expensive bracelet

The whole story seems odd to me. 🤷‍♀️

combatbarbie · 04/10/2020 08:02

Regardless of whether OP made it discounted or full price, I think its rather off for a friend to try and profit.

Yes it's business but it doesn't mean the OP cannot be upset. However if it sells at its profited price then reconsider your prices.

Original poster

Chocice79 · 04/10/2020 08:12

I get she bought it so it's hers but considering she said she wasnt even gonna give the bracelet to her daughter anytime soon anytime soon to find it up for sale 2 days later shocked me and also to be trying to make a profit off it as well

OP posts:

emilyfrost · 04/10/2020 08:13

@IKEA888

is be v upset by this I think a conversation with her around the lines of ... did she not like the bracelet I see it's up for sale

Why would you be “very upset”?

It’s just a bracelet. If you create items you have to accept not everyone will like them.

You also have to accept that even if they do like them, they made the purchase so it’s their right to do with it what they want, including reselling it.

FlapsInTheWind · 04/10/2020 08:16

When I was a kid I made my sister a felt donkey. When we were in our thirties I saw it in the window of a charity shop so went in and bought it.

It would be outing to put here all the horrible things my sister has done over the years, not just to me but to everyone around her. I am not in contact with her and I keep the donkey to remind me why.

Maybe this is one of those moments OP.

Tink88 · 04/10/2020 08:22

It was in no way a gift she paid you for it.
How much 'profit' is she trying to make from it.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 04/10/2020 08:26

Maybe she doesn't like it?

StitchInTimeSavesNine · 04/10/2020 08:26

She probably realised that getting an initial bracelet when the girl hasn't actually changed her name was premature. Or her dh don't want the name change encouraged. Or the teenager didn't like it.

Mex100 · 04/10/2020 08:27

More likely what's happened is her daughter didn't like the bracelet and she doesn't want to tell you. Hence using her husbands account to sell and not her own. Also she probably isn't trying to make a profit, but when you put things up for sale on FB everyone wants to knock you down on the price. I've always put things on for more than I want so when people make an offer and I accept they feel like they've got a bargain.

ThatDamnScientist · 04/10/2020 08:35

@Chocice79

Maybe the daughter decided she wasn't going to change her name anymore?!

You sold it her, it is no longer yours. You really are going to struggle in business if you get upset by the slightest thing.

Oh and the price, maybe she wants to get all her money back - people offer low on selling sites a lot of the time, this way she can accept a lower offer and still get her money back.

islockdownoveryet · 04/10/2020 08:38

Eh so basically if someone buys something off you then can't re sell it or is it that it was so soon ?.
I think she didn't like it but agreed to buy it and didn't want to tell you .

Original poster

Chocice79 · 04/10/2020 08:52

it's the fact she is selling it 2 days later when she claimed she wasn't even gonna give it till the name change was official in a couple of wks

OP posts:

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