To start divorce proceedings because my "D"H said this?

[IckyPop]

My "D"H just said to me, in all seriousness and with no hint of irony, "I don't normally try to solutionize, but....."
I didn't let him finish his sentence before asking him WTF is solutionize? He is in a technical profession and when interrogated about his verbal crime against humanity, he said it does actually get used at work.
He doesn't normally come out with corporate bullshit so this came right out of the blue.
I told him I could never take anything he said seriously again and that I was going to solutionize my aching back by taking my cup of tea back to bed.
Should I LTB?

@Hopoindown31

Also my really bugbear, and I know it probably is petty, is people using the word "utilise/utilize" instead of "use".

I also was almost violent when a fellow British colleague of mine used the word "deplane".

Whenever I hear anyone use the word "deplane" my mind immediately jumps to the word "defenestrate". Is that terribly wrong of me?

imgur.com/gallery/SDEHeHX

Interesting stuff imo but I love linguistics!

@EdwardsNewJumper

Is your DH a developer / analyst / work in software ? I hate the word solutionize but it is a word used in software design, it's got a specific use though. I've stopped cringing at it now, but I would never use it outside work though.

Not software, but is an engineer.

Also my really bugbear, and I know it probably is petty, is people using the word "utilise/utilize" instead of "use".

Oh god not petty at all! Of all the corporate word mangling I deal with every day, that’s the one that rakes its fingernails over my raw brain.

An ex once said that he didn't want people to 'mythologise' him. I think he meant ex girlfriends, who he imagined were secretly hankering after him.

I could never take him seriously again after that comment. It was so wanky

@1forAll74

I always laugh at these types of speech, and will always try and make some of my own up (which are much better and more amusing)

This sounds fun!

Let's see......

I want to solutionise my current comestible fall back ratio while taking into account the precipitation scenario.

Should I utilise an off -site transportation device, or would that be putting a quiff on a top'sl?

Translation;

I want to go food shopping for cupboard staples, but it's pissing down. Could call a taxi, but is that a bit OTT?

He’s probably just forgotten to take his work head off before he came home.

@QuestionableMouse that is actually brilliant! I'm not sure I completely agree with the generational point but I've just realised I use both all the time and which one depends on whether or not I think the person should be grateful to me or not (subconsciously. I'm not constantly racking up mental gratitude lists )

I'd take the kitchen garbage bin, dump it in the middle of the floor and say "solutionize this"! And then go have a cup of tea.

(he sounds like a very practical type rather than sympathetic - just like me really so if you do dump him let me know....)

@SohoOrigami yep! The first time I read it I was like ooh this explains so much. 😊🤔😊

I just want to punch "positivity" in the face

I hope he takes the learnings from this

I’ve only ever heard ‘ideation’ used before in the phrase ‘suicidal ideation’...

When I worked at HMRC, we were meant to be ‘alongside our customers’, which sounded like we were pirates about to launch an attack. I was also supposed to ‘surprise and delight’ my customers (sic). I was a tax inspector.

@Plornish - surprising probably not too hard - but delighting could be tricky.

If he tells you to be careful to lock the doors when you go out in case you get burglarized, you are actually, legally allowed to kill him.

Just don't let him do a 'deep dive' 😂

Burglarised as well... plus “gifted”

I read school documents and the buzzword is “share” at the moment. Nobody says, accuses, shouts, argues, explains, asks, they always “share”.

“X shared that he goes to Y school. He shared that his favourite subjects are maths and english. He shared that he has friends in Z class. I shared this with his teacher who shared that X has issues with A...”

As long as he doesn't touch base!

Has anyone else noticed the proliferation of the phrase 'that's perfect' from call centre staff, etc?

"Just confirm your name..?"
"Birdsnest"
"That's perfect"
No it bloody isn't, I've only told you my name!
Gets on my tits, it does

@manybirdsnests

Has anyone else noticed the proliferation of the phrase 'that's perfect' from call centre staff, etc?

"Just confirm your name..?"
"Birdsnest"
"That's perfect"
No it bloody isn't, I've only told you my name!
Gets on my tits, it does

DH says that too Now where's that solicitor's number......

@crystaltips98

Just don't let him do a 'deep dive' 😂

Christ I loathe business/corporate jargon, and that sounds like an example of it, even if your dh is in a more technical field. It's totally cringe, toe-curlingly unattractive and makes people sound like David Brent. Dh and I are both teachers and there are a fair few annoying acronyms and buzz words, but it's got nothing on the sheer ghastliness of corporate jargon phrases. YANBU at all, OP.

Happy to give a steer on this, even though it may not be in my gift
let's take a deep dive, This is the daily 'word salad' I deal with!

I don't use it it daily life, I can't give my title as it would be outing but let's' just say its a very long set of words for a secretary!

I also use a grammar checker for both US and UK customers so often get the z and the S hence utilise does become utilize

I have to admit - I find myself texting and having to delete before I send as I am being corporate.

Let's everyone remember that it takes teamwork to make the dream work, and move the needle with an idea shower and leverage the low hanging fruit.

I'm leaving now to commit suppuku.