To start divorce proceedings because my "D"H said this?

[IckyPop]

My "D"H just said to me, in all seriousness and with no hint of irony, "I don't normally try to solutionize, but....."
I didn't let him finish his sentence before asking him WTF is solutionize? He is in a technical profession and when interrogated about his verbal crime against humanity, he said it does actually get used at work.
He doesn't normally come out with corporate bullshit so this came right out of the blue.
I told him I could never take anything he said seriously again and that I was going to solutionize my aching back by taking my cup of tea back to bed.
Should I LTB?

@MerryMarigold

My dh comes out with these things all the time. He also likes Celine Dion and watching X factor. What am I doing?

What you are doing is being brainwashed into the world of bland.

Is he fond of a beige cardi or two?

The one that I hate the most, and it definitely should be banned, is “open the kimono”. I also can’t stand “reach out” and get that Four Tops song stuck in my head when I hear it but it’s mild compared to “open the kimono”.

And don’t get me started on all the COVID ones...”in these unprecedented times”...

We’re discussing home renovations and my DH said, TO MY FACE IN REAL LIFE, “let’s circle back to that.”

...

...

I just...you think you know someone, you know?

"It is what it is" pisses me off. Of course it fucking is. It can hardly be what it isn't, can it?

Another one he says is that it will be in the last place he looks. No shit! Unless you plan to keep looking after you've found it.

I think you put him on a warning but if he says he wants to “reach out” and “matrix approach the problem” you leave him.

Have to disagree with “not my circus not my monkeys” though. It’s an old polish saying and I love it. Every time someone tries to make something my fucking problem it comes in handy.

@VodselForDinner

I asked my husband to action something we’d discussed the other day.

I packed my own bags.

😂😂😂

@VodselForDinner

I asked my husband to action something we’d discussed the other day.

I packed my own bags.

Dear lord, I could never have sex with him again. I hate the overuse of 'solutions'.

My DH once used 'going forward, can we' at the beginning of a sentence and I did think about packing my bags.

@BritWifeinUSA

The one that I hate the most, and it definitely should be banned, is “open the kimono”. I also can’t stand “reach out” and get that Four Tops song stuck in my head when I hear it but it’s mild compared to “open the kimono”.

And don’t get me started on all the COVID ones...”in these unprecedented times”...

Open the kimono? WTAF is that? Is it as disgusting as it sounds?

I'm very fond of the letter 'Z' - in fact it could be my favourite letter. However squeezing it into words where it offends my eyes is taking it too far even for me!

@HyacynthBucket

At least, "At the end of the day" seems to have gone to sleep now.

My husband used to say that CONSTANTLY. Drove me crazy.

@OhCaptain

We’re discussing home renovations and my DH said, TO MY FACE IN REAL LIFE, “let’s circle back to that.”

...

...

I just...you think you know someone, you know?

Oh yes, absolutely. Shocking.

@DPotter

I'm very fond of the letter 'Z' - in fact it could be my favourite letter. However squeezing it into words where it offends my eyes is taking it too far even for me!

I understand your concerns, but may I direct you the explanation I gave to JustMeAndMyTins In normal circumstances I agree with your views on spelling, but it seemed to warrant the 'z' as it was so twatish. I imagined how it would look on an email sent to cascade the information

If I ask my husbands opinion on something, so "shall we do this?" He will reply "agreed" and if he's done something wrong he will say "apologies". I'm often telling him I'm your wife not your colleague!!

Before he was working from home, I'd ring him at work and he'd often say "hi! So how can I help?"

I can't see what the problem is, I'm with your DH's use of 'solutionise' - agreed, it's making a noun into a verb, but I don't see what's wrong with that. It's quicker than saying "I'm trying not to create a solution out of this for you" which is a waste of words. Solutionise is compact and says it all.

COB/COP I use all the time in emails, because I want people to know when a deadline is - a lot of communication problems happen because people don't have time to read so much text, so shortening it gets the message across quicker.

Maybe it's using "work words" at home that's the problem, if so then my DH is extremely patient and tolerant with me, I spout all sorts of bollox about work, and he sits there patiently listening to my stream of consciousness

I respond to anyone who says “at the end of the day” with “it gets dark”. Back in the day of Jeremy Kyle I think it was one of the requirements to be on the show to start every sentence with “at the end of the day...” and bonus points for a cheap tracksuit and amateur tattoos.

@IckyPop “open the kimono” means have no secrets, don’t hold anything back but it is completely disgusting and something I’d imagine someone saying to a stripper, not a colleague.

@Shelby1981

If I ask my husbands opinion on something, so "shall we do this?" He will reply "agreed" and if he's done something wrong he will say "apologies". I'm often telling him I'm your wife not your colleague!!

Before he was working from home, I'd ring him at work and he'd often say "hi! So how can I help?"

😂 my husband says similar. 'What can I do for you?'

I don't know. Answer the phone like you usually do you plonker. He's in his own office, no one can even hear.

@Shelby1981

If I ask my husbands opinion on something, so "shall we do this?" He will reply "agreed" and if he's done something wrong he will say "apologies". I'm often telling him I'm your wife not your colleague!!

Before he was working from home, I'd ring him at work and he'd often say "hi! So how can I help?"

Your answer to his "Hi, how can I help?" should of course be "Stop speaking like a twat for a start"

I always laugh at these types of speech, and will always try and make some of my own up (which are much better and more amusing)

I cringe when I use ‘reach out’ but sometimes it’s just much quicker than ‘I will either call or email or text’ so and so.

Is your DH a developer / analyst / work in software ? I hate the word solutionize but it is a word used in software design, it's got a specific use though. I've stopped cringing at it now, but I would never use it outside work though.

"Can I be perfectly honest with you?"

Solutionise even if it's spelled with an 's' not a zed, is worthy of even more contempt than my DH's phrase. He's even added in an adverb to an already mind-bendingly irritating query. The adverb pushes me over the edge.

Maybe he is just ' reaching out to you' ....

One of the many advantages of online banking is that my DH no longer has cause to use the highly irritating phrase ‘cutting a cheque’.

@Candyflosscookie

Yep "not a problem" aargh! Of course it's not a problem when it's your bloody JOB!! To do the thing you've been asked to do. Hate it.

I actually read an interesting take on this language a bit ago. It's basically down to a different set of viewpoints.