to think this is unrealistic? (childcare/covid)

[TennisBunny]

I'm a Nanny, looking after one 3 year old girl.

Mum is worried about Covid, and since March the rule has been that LO can only do activities either inside the house or outdoors, where there few people.
So we can go to the park (but not the playground, as people will have touched the structures), we can go to the play farm but only do the outdoor activities, not the soft play. We avoid the town centre because of the people, and won't go into shops as a general rule, but if we do they should be quiet. Group activities/classes like playgroup, monkey music, gymboree etc etc are not allowed.

This was ok during summer, but now the weather has changed meaning we rarely go outside. (Parents also don't like LO going outside when it is windy, cold or raining as they fear she will get ill).

I work 24/7 as a "rota nanny" - meaning I work 3 weeks on, 3 weeks off with another nanny. LO doesn't nap anymore, so we have 12+ hours a day to fill with indoor games for 21 days straight. I'm the queen of rainy day activities, but I'm running out of energy and ideas. I'm starting to dread going to work (and I've only been in the job 3 months!).
She is quite dependant, and needs to be constantly engaged plus her age means she will only spend 5 minutes on one activity before getting bored. She doesn't have any friends so no playdates etc.

I've tried to discuss going out to do more things, where she can socialize, but Mum shuts down the conversation fast.

I don't know whether I'm just not being safe enough? But I think it is more unhealthy to stay inside and not see new people/things for months, than the small risk of catching Corona?

Sorry for my bad English!

Just to add that I'm not English, so maybe I'm not understanding the culture properly.

Why are you rarely going outside? Does the child not have waterproofs?

It’s not good that the child can’t socIalise with other children. I would raise this as a concern.

I have a toddler and a 4 year old in school and we aren’t doing any indoor activities apart from swimming. It’s hard but do able. We didn’t manage to get booked in for swimming this weekend and it’s heavy rain predicted all weekend so we will be in our waterproofs outside a lot.

That sounds really really hard to me. Could you ask parents for a budget to purchase some 'big ticket' items at home if there is space - I have seen other parents setting up a small soft play space inside with cushions etc and a couple of big pieces of equipment. Are there any nanny groups locally where you could maybe help to identify one other child of the same age who parents would be happy for you to meet with, if it was a consistent person each time.

Just seen the bit about not going outside. The parents sound difficult and I would consider looking for another job.

@Lockdownseperation

Just seen the bit about not going outside. The parents sound difficult and I would consider looking for another job.

If you can believe it, this is one of the better jobs I've had still! It's quite hard to get a job at the moment, so I feel I should be stronger about it.

A 3 year old should be able to engage for much longer than 5 minutes.

Teach them how to watch films, my daughter is 2.5 and will sit and watch a 90min film now (we taight her through lockdown when i was working)

Kids shouldn't be entertained 24/7 they have to learn independant play

@Findahouse21

That sounds really really hard to me. Could you ask parents for a budget to purchase some 'big ticket' items at home if there is space - I have seen other parents setting up a small soft play space inside with cushions etc and a couple of big pieces of equipment. Are there any nanny groups locally where you could maybe help to identify one other child of the same age who parents would be happy for you to meet with, if it was a consistent person each time.

We have a small swimming pool so we go in there, but we are only allowed if she is completely healthy with no cold so some weeks we cannot.

I like the idea of making soft play, but I think we have a space pronlem. I do something like this with the sofa cushions 😂

Sadly there seems to be no other nannies around, only Mum's groups and they generally don't speak much to Nannies.

Can you suggest going outside to play in puddles etc? Being outdoors isn’t a risk if the child is dressed appropriately. And fresh air is healthy. Maybe forest walks? Exploring gardens?

@Lazypuppy

A 3 year old should be able to engage for much longer than 5 minutes.

Teach them how to watch films, my daughter is 2.5 and will sit and watch a 90min film now (we taight her through lockdown when i was working)

Kids shouldn't be entertained 24/7 they have to learn independant play

The rule is maximum 20 minutes screen time each day. She is 3 years and 1 month, sometimes we find a good activity that we get 10-15 mins of but mostly she gets bored and we have to start a new one.

I am enforcing independant play where I tell her I am doing my thing and she should play by herself, and it is getting better but its very slow - she sometimes manages 10 minutes without asking me to play with her, which is much better than before!

@Plmoknijb123

Can you suggest going outside to play in puddles etc? Being outdoors isn’t a risk if the child is dressed appropriately. And fresh air is healthy. Maybe forest walks? Exploring gardens?

Yes I try. Sometimes if the weather is mild it's OK, but if it is windy or raining then it's a no because of illness. I did but her rain trousers though which help!

I was a nanny once to a 3yo and 9 months old. Lived in the countryside and I was not allowed to take the children out at all but a 15mbs walk around the house that featured very little.

I too was bored to death and found the days long but ultimately, it's what the parents wanted and employed for, not for my enjoyment of the job so I never complained and did my best. They were happy with the care I provided.

I lasted only 6 months though and got a job in a children home instead.

It's not a cultural thing they sound a bit strange not wanting her to go outside if weather isn't pleasant 😮 Kids love nothing more than jumping in puddles etc. I don't see how they have an issue with this. They should want her to have more things to do and have fun.

What about a walk in woods or park and pick up some leaves and sticks to do some crafts with. Make a stick man like the book.

Library? Would she be allowed to go there and pick up some books. They are all quarantined when returned and it's very quiet since they have reopened.

Bake some cakes/cookies, kids love doing that!

Go to a trampoline park (indoors) they are often cheap and quiet when schools are in as it's off peak and sometimes do toddler/pre school hours and offers.

I think the parents are being unreasonable and over the top with their rules. I feel sad for the child. But I don’t know how to vote, because they are entitled to set their rules. I think the best thing to do is get a new job.

Visit to a garden centre? Project about plants or sometimes they have mini animal centres there? Child could do a scrapbook about things they saw there? Often garden centres have seasonal displays of stuff like Halloween or xmas? Def fill a morning at a good one. And there sort of inside and outside?

I know the weather is getting worse but does she have a full puddle suit? Are there woods or something you can do? I usually go for a walk with my 3yo, a flask of hot choc and a pot of marshmallows and bird food makes it v exciting.

Jumping in puddles etc.

Seems very odd, don't the parents actually interact with their child themselves? Rota nanny I've never heard of, even the royal family care for their kids these days!

Tell the parents they need to supply good waterproofs (I recommend wellie weather brand) for outside trips on wet days.

What about asking for them to get something like this www.amazon.co.uk/Gorilla-Gym-Plastic-Climbing-Swinging/dp/B00FM62YD8/ref=asc_df_B00FM62YD8/?hvlocphy=1006868&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=310620100076&hvpone&hvlocint&hvpos&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-445024147643&hvrand=9093820050011022352

Everyone has a different tolerance of risk. This family are clearly risk averse. I am surprised though the little one has no chance to socialise. It would be OK for a 1 year old but at 3 she really needs to mix with her peers. Not going out in the rain or wind is also extreme when she could be wrapped up and then run around. Presumably she'll be in school next year? It will be a real shock for her!

You need to plan a routine
E.g.
9-10 arts and crafts
10- snack- get her to help prepare it
10.30 walk outside
11.30 dancing and story time
12 dinner
12.30 jigsaws, games
1.00 walk outside
2.00 snack
2.30 yoga, Zumba
3.00 messy play E.g. shaving foam, play dough, obelik
3.30 tea, get her involved preparing and washing up
4.00 small world E.g. dolls house, farm, train track

Just a guide but the day will go quicker if you have a plan

Your job sounds utterly nuts- I couldn’t do it. And you are working every single day in those 3 weeks? When do they see her?!

“I am enforcing independant play where I tell her I am doing my thing and she should play by herself, and it is getting better but its very slow - she sometimes manages 10 minutes without asking me to play with her, which is much better than before!”

I’m a nursery manager and my staff spend all day playing with the children. This statement makes me very sad.

That sounds a bit OTT in terms of caution and not great for the child's development never to see any other children. And mind numbing for you! Is there anything in the EYFS curriculum for her age which has 'targets' she should be meeting around playing with her peers, or anything else which can't be done indoors? 'we need to do x activity to meet y target' might motivate the parents more than you just trying to persuade them. I have mixed feelings about that type of assessment for toddlers but in this case it might be useful! I have a 3 year old and get reports now and again from the preschool about the targets - I take very little notice as long as they're not telling me there's a problem, but I'm sure you could access them via the Ofsted website or somewhere. I do feel a bit uneasy about 3 year old mixing with other unknown toddlers at preschool so I can kind of understand the parents' concern about that but complete isolation for weeks on end is surely not the answer! I do also know some parents are much more precious than me about children going out in the rain/when they have a cold so it may not be too unusual, but not ideal in my view for her, never mind you!

It's not a cultural thing their are being weird and over protective. They also sound like they know absolutely fuck all about children (which is likely true if you and another nanny care for their little girl literally 24/7!)

What do they expect you both to do all day? I would seriously ask them this. Because 20 mins screen time and no outside, no socialising, I mean most kids go to nursery a few hours a week at this age because socialising with other children their own age is very important (I'm sure you know this but sounds like they do not!)

I think a 24/7 live in nanny to a non napping child is a very different situation to nursery staff - nanny needs a cup of tea and a toilet break sometimes like anyone else! Presumably no lunchbreak or anything.

@insancerre

“I am enforcing independant play where I tell her I am doing my thing and she should play by herself, and it is getting better but its very slow - she sometimes manages 10 minutes without asking me to play with her, which is much better than before!”

I’m a nursery manager and my staff spend all day playing with the children. This statement makes me very sad.

Why does it make you sad? She gets up at 7am and then we spend the whole day 1 on 1. I think it's important to make sure she practises entertaining herself. I'm always in the same room, and performing a play activity so she can see me play independently and imitate it.

Presumably your staff are not 1 on 1, and are not actively engaging the children from the moment they wake up to the moment they sleep, 7 days a week.

Im a Nanny, not a nursery.