to think this is unrealistic? (childcare/covid)

[TennisBunny]

I'm a Nanny, looking after one 3 year old girl.

Mum is worried about Covid, and since March the rule has been that LO can only do activities either inside the house or outdoors, where there few people.
So we can go to the park (but not the playground, as people will have touched the structures), we can go to the play farm but only do the outdoor activities, not the soft play. We avoid the town centre because of the people, and won't go into shops as a general rule, but if we do they should be quiet. Group activities/classes like playgroup, monkey music, gymboree etc etc are not allowed.

This was ok during summer, but now the weather has changed meaning we rarely go outside. (Parents also don't like LO going outside when it is windy, cold or raining as they fear she will get ill).

I work 24/7 as a "rota nanny" - meaning I work 3 weeks on, 3 weeks off with another nanny. LO doesn't nap anymore, so we have 12+ hours a day to fill with indoor games for 21 days straight. I'm the queen of rainy day activities, but I'm running out of energy and ideas. I'm starting to dread going to work (and I've only been in the job 3 months!).
She is quite dependant, and needs to be constantly engaged plus her age means she will only spend 5 minutes on one activity before getting bored. She doesn't have any friends so no playdates etc.

I've tried to discuss going out to do more things, where she can socialize, but Mum shuts down the conversation fast.

I don't know whether I'm just not being safe enough? But I think it is more unhealthy to stay inside and not see new people/things for months, than the small risk of catching Corona?

Sorry for my bad English!

Not acceptable for a child that age imo.

You're right. She needs outdoor time and time socialising with other DC. My almost 3 year old DS (who earlier in the year had real issues sharing) now plays beautifully with other children and shares without being prompted. This is because of nursery and playdates (usually outdoors over the past few months). How do children learn how to interact properly with others? By practising, getting it wrong, being gently corrected and practising some more.

Staying indoors is not ok either. Children need to be out in the fresh air getting exercise. We go out in all weathers and wear waterproofs if it's raining. Even in heavy rain, DS gets shoved out the back door into the garden in wellies and his puddle suit with some pots and pans to play with while I supervise with a cup of tea from the kitchen doorway (we have a small garden so I can see him wherever he is). Though if the parents are precious, I imagine it will be difficult for you as a nanny to do this. But at least get the poor child out for some more walks and climbing trees and things like that.

We are staying in the Isle of Man - which has only 1 recent case, and no lockdown. If that makes it different?

I have the same rules for our nanny and DS, though she only does three short days, and I’m fine about DS going outside the getting wet. There’s a pandemic. I don’t want Covid in my house.

How much time does her parents spend with her and what do they do in that time?

I'm a nanny and she sounds either very anal and controlling or has anxiety over covid. I worked for a family where I was rarely allowed out. I only lasted 3 months.
Its not culture, its just one of those families.
Leave and find a family where you can go out and mix in small numbers. Rarely these sort of jobs change.

Do the parents go out?

They have as more chance of bringing Covid back in to their house than a child splashing around in puddles in the rain.

Would the parents live not going to work, to shops or out of the house in the cold or rainy weather.

How much time do they spend with their child?

Whilst this little girl might be too young to remember this time when she is grown up. The imprint of being indoors with no friends and only a succession of nannies is going to stay with her for life.

Would you see part of your professional role as advising the parents of the child's needs and milestones as a childcare professional? Such as that being outside and exposed to others is beneficial to health and development? And would they be responsive to advice? So then you could say I think it is important for x to experience a group setting and learn xyz and I would like permission to take her to ABC which have these precautions and policies in place in accordance with government guidance that COVID risk to young children is low and their development needs are of equal importance'.

Hang on, what? You and another many care for the child basically 24/7 but the mum is at home not working? What? Surely that’s not normal?!

@year5teacher

Seems incredibly odd to me too. I'm guessing they are not British. I'm not sure the working hours are even legal too that's an average of 84 hours a week over a 6 week period. Isn't 48 hours the maximum???

That all sounds very sad. If I’ve got this right the child has:

• no friends or peer interaction
• a nanny 24/7 despite having a parent at home not working
• no playgrounds, trips out
• no outside play if raining, cold.

That is very much not normal. My 3 year old was very miserable during lockdown. I could never impose that regime voluntarily.

Oh being in the IOM does make a difference I think. It's very very low cases there

If the child hasn't got signifucant underlying health issues then this all sounds bonkers and unrealistic. It s not even cold yet. I would start looking for a new job I am afraid. The daily routine suggested earlier sounds good but I assume you have a routine already .

Blimey, you're in the IOM? You're basically Covid-free! I'm in Jersey, and we pretty much consider ourselves living fairly normally with only 23 active cases (all detected with border testing) and no community transmission for several months. Parents with young children are pretty much going about their toddler activities as usual, just with smaller numbers and pre-booking.

To be so worried, and not just about Covid, but even catching a cold, is very odd. I'm not sure there's much you can do though - the parents seem to have made their decision.

I feel very sorry for the child, though.

IoM, mum doesn't work, 21x12 hour shifts?

Could you go down a more evidence based line for both the covid risk and the child development side?

So for covid = IOM vv few cases, children rarely affected, unlikely to catch a ything if hygiene good, out doors and fresh air recommended. Compared to the risks of flu, accidents, other diseases etc

For the outdoor activities/socialisation is their appropriate research that you could physically hand them to read?

That way they can read, assimilate and make judgement on activities to suggest they are happy with. It isnt just "your opinion" (which I'm sure is very professionally valid) but is also rooted in benefits that other children have gained from and what other childcare providers base their curriculum on.

I can understand why you wouldn't want to say you're running out of ideas but perhaps if you wrote down all the activities you do with her and say even this is not enough to fill the day without further interactions or outdoor exercise and ask them to say what else they could permit her to do.

You could write a table with a risk assessment for each thing.

So going for an outdoor walk;
Positive benefits = fresh air, exercise, learning about nature, building strength and stamina, noticing little details about what to see and find, changing seasons, finding her way around local community, road sense. Research says that.... is all a consequence of x activity.

Acknowledging risk = full wet weather gear, warm layers, food and drink packed, first aid kit, hand sanitiser, green cross code, social distancing from strangers. Etc

This is crazy. Poor kid.

Why do they need such a full on nanny situation if mum is at home? Is there a disability involved?

The parents sound like nutters. Poor child - no opportunity to socialise or explore the outside world, no opportunity to develop self sufficiency or independence.

Leave and find another job, and tell them exactly why before you go.

Your English is excellent, by the way.
Best of luck.

Surely they are putting their dd at more risk from other things than Covid and getting a cold.

What are they going to do next year when they go to school and are exposed to all the childhood illnesses children get.
With absolutely no background immunity her system will be overloaded.

Or are they going to get tutors in to home school.

This is reality now for parents and children. Dd is finally allowed a bit of socialization because we spent time meeting with other parents and negotiating the rules of a pod.

Soft play, crowded shops. Yes there are people engaging in those activities. Those people are the problem.

I actively encouraged independent play in DS4 from as early as possible I was a SAHM for a while and now only work part time so needed him to be able to give me a bit of space at times!

I second the suggestion to see part of your role as advising the parents. Could you whack out a copy of the EYFS curriculum as mentioned and show them how well she is doing at x and y but in order to hit a and b she needs to improve gross motor skills and social skills?

I’m going to make the assumption that they aren’t short of a penny or two, could you show them links to really good thermal base layers for the child and then some full puddle suits?

It sounds crap for you and crap for the child tbh. DS and I would lose the plot if we couldn’t get out of the house. We never really did groups but we were out in all weathers!

The lack of socialisation is a worry. Would the parents allow one child to come and play? Could you post on local fb groups for the area? Or even walks in the wood with other children?