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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving 12 and 9 yo in house late at night...

63 replies

oldrosie · 02/10/2020 23:20

Am I being unreasonable to be angry at husband for leaving our 12 and 9 year old at home alone until 10.30pm ?

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 02/10/2020 23:30

I dont see it as that big a deal. 12 and 9 is ok. That's when my parents started leaving us for a couple of hours on a friday night to go have a meal. We sat in front of the telly eating crap. It was fantastic Grin I was 8, sister 12.

Asterion · 02/10/2020 23:30

I would say no, YANBU!!

NoPinkPlease · 02/10/2020 23:31

I wouldn't dream of doing this with my 9 and 12 year olds.

Asterion · 02/10/2020 23:31

What was the agreement? What was he doing/where was he?

To me, 10pm is way too late for their bedtime anyway, and I would be FURIOUS that they'd been left on their own. Absolutely furious.

Notimeforaname · 02/10/2020 23:32

Mind you, we were in front of the tv but watching videos parents had picked for us. Not just channel surfing.

formerbabe · 02/10/2020 23:32

I have a 12 and just turned 10 year old...no way would I leave them home alone at that time. I will leave my eldest during daytime hours for an hour or so...I've never left my youngest and I'd never leave them together.

Where was he op?

RedHelenB · 02/10/2020 23:34

Depends very much on the circumstances.

BigusBumus · 02/10/2020 23:40

I was always of the thought that they were far safer in their own home in front of the tv than walking to and from school or playing out at that age so why would you be so worried? Assuming you let them do those things?

Reddog1 · 02/10/2020 23:40

Was it an emergency? Was he nearby? Is the 12yo a sensible sort? Depends on the context. It’s not ideal though.

steff13 · 02/10/2020 23:41

It depends on the kids and the circumstances.

imissthesouth · 02/10/2020 23:41

Way too young! Maybe the 12yo but definitely not with the 9yo. YANBU

lyralalala · 02/10/2020 23:42

For how long?

If he left them for 15 minutes to pick up another child - no big deal. If he fucked off to the pub and didn't come back until 2am - big deal.

Redcliff · 02/10/2020 23:48

I think I would be OK with this assuming they were sensible kids.

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/10/2020 23:53

@Asterion

What was the agreement? What was he doing/where was he?

To me, 10pm is way too late for their bedtime anyway, and I would be FURIOUS that they'd been left on their own. Absolutely furious.

I totally agree it was very wrong and I would not be ok.

10pm is way too late for their bedtime anyway
Lol at 10 pm being way too late for a 12 yo.

CeibaTree · 02/10/2020 23:54

Hmm I think we need more context OP. On the surface I think it's ok.

Longdistance · 02/10/2020 23:57

We need to know how long they were left for firstly? Was he close by or miles away?

WitchesNStuff · 03/10/2020 00:32

I would have left my 12 and 10 yo if we were very local. More context needed I think.

Stompythedinosaur · 03/10/2020 00:36

I think it is too young.

IndieTara · 03/10/2020 00:47

More info needed

LindaEllen · 03/10/2020 00:52

Depends on the circumstances and on the children.
If he went out and left them on their own because he fancied a pint that's one thing. If a relative needed urgent assistance it's very different.

JunkCrumpet · 03/10/2020 01:19

Completely depends. I can't see any reason why this wouldn't be ok but depends how long they were left for and if they have any special needs or are just very immature/untrustworthy.
Also, it's his right as a parent to make that decision just as much as it's your right to decide whether you leave them. You don't really get to be angry because he made a decision you disagree with because you're not the boss.

AlwaysLatte · 03/10/2020 01:34

I wouldn't be happy about that. Mine are 12 and 10 and would be in bed by then and we'd want to be around for their bedtime routine, not letting them just get on with it. Also, I wouldn't leave them when it was dark in case there was a power cut. We have left them for a short while during the day though.

Ilovesausages · 03/10/2020 01:42

Mine are 12 and 9 and I leave them sometimes in the daytime for no longer than an hour - walking dog or popping to shop.

I wouldn’t leave them alone at night unless it was an emergency - then I would, yes.

justinhawkinsnavalfluff · 03/10/2020 01:42

I am not sure the Police would agree it was ok

JunkCrumpet · 03/10/2020 02:01

@justinhawkinsnavalfluff

I am not sure the Police would agree it was ok
Why not? The police are there to enforce the law and this isn't illegal.
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