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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lack of NHS services in certain areas (TMI warning)

135 replies

Someonesayroadtrip · 02/10/2020 14:07

AIBU?

I sort of know IAMU but un the same breath this is my reality and I just don't know how I go on like this. I know the NHS is amazing, I used to be a nurse before I had children. I think the NHS is amazing but I can't help but feel frustrated at the massive differences across the country.

I have been bleeding since August 3rd after passing a very very large clot. Prior to this I had been experiencing increased discharge, weird spotting and my periods had suddenly become very irregular. I have not stopped bleeding since August 3rd. I now struggle to leave the house as I bleed though the maximum protection available to me. Two GPs have stated to me that I need to be seen urgently for both a scan and a Gyn appointment, in total those two GPs have sent or updated up referrals 7 times. First urgent scan referral was sent on August 3rd which radiology rejected as NOT URGENT. The GP resent that in middle of August.

September 1st GP referred me to Gynaecology as a urgent “2 week referral”. The GP confirmed hospital has accepted this as urgent however the letter I received indicated that it would be a much longer wait as I mentioned informing them of dates in the next 6 months I was unavailable. I know the GP again asked them to see me ASAP on 28/09/2020.

I got hold of appointments today, who were very sympathetic but said I was accepted as urgent but I wouldn’t be contacted until at least March, that urgent appointments are taking 28 weeks currently. Even then it would just be a telephone appointment as they weren’t seeing patients or doing procedures.

I did receive a letter from radiology with an appointment for 19/10/2020 but this will be 10 weeks since I was referred. If I don’t stop bleeding by then it will be 78 days of bleeding.

I am in pain, my children are really scared and confused after seeing me with blood running down my legs on numerous occasions, I am becoming increasingly desperate and depressed. I have not stopped bleeding for a single day, the thought of any day longer is making me very unstable.

I cannot go on like this. I have collapsed twice, I can’t work, I bleed through at the school pick-up which is mortifying for us all, I feel so ill, depressed and afraid at what is happening to my body. It’s having a profound affect in us all as a family, I have children with additional needs and one was excluded this week, he has Autism and learning difficulties, and the fact mummy isn’t as hands on and mummy keeps bleeding has a huge affect when he can’t understand what is happening. Another day this week I took my child to the opticians and I bled though everything and had to call my husband at work to take over while I wrapped my coat around myself and sat in a towel to get home.

I accept and understand this is an unprecedented time and the service is under immense pressure but that doesn’t change my current situation. Why is there such a divide on NHS services? I know that some places are back to a more normal service yet it seems like my area is way behind and that is only going to have a massively determinate affect on waiting lists and future services.

If someone deemed as urgent, like me, needs to wait 28 weeks for a consultation and 10 weeks for a scan, what hope do other non-urgent services have? What am I supposed to do in that time? I can barely function most days, it’s having a huge affect on my mental and physical health.

OP posts:
rosesinmygarden · 02/10/2020 14:11

I've been referred to the gynae department. I've had a scan which showed something which has a small cancer risk.

I've been told 18 months for an initial outpatients appointment and a further 18 months minimum before any procedure.

I paid to see a Dr privately and he's prescribed me norethisterone for the time being. Will you GP give you this?

It's awful and so many women are in the same boat.

time4anothername · 02/10/2020 14:11

yanbu. I'd go to AandE and refuse to move until I'd had some care. When was your most recent blood test for iron, hb and ferritin? They could be at urgent low levels.

rosesinmygarden · 02/10/2020 14:18

YANBU and your GP at least needs to prescribe something to get the bleeding under control. Have they prescribed anything?

Have you had any blood tests? You sound anaemic.

RIPworkingmums · 02/10/2020 14:21

In your situation I would head to A&E. it sounds as though you’re suffering significant blood loss and if no one is taking you seriously then it absolutely has become an emergency. I would never advocate people abusing the A&E system but you can’t continue like this. Are you driving? What if you pass out whilst looking after your children alone? I really hope you get sorted ASAP that is a ridiculous wait time with your symptoms.

passthemustard · 02/10/2020 14:25

I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds awful.

I agree your GP should be doing more to stop the bleeding. I also think you could go to a&e, especially if you're collapsing.

The system sounds broken, it's supposed to be a max of 18 weeks to see a consultant from a non-urgent referral. I would write to PALS at the hospital where you have been referred. If you have the energy.

Itsabeautifuldayheyhey · 02/10/2020 14:27

My DH was offered an MRI scan in a telephone consultation on Monday. The letter arrived yesterday with his appointment for this Saturday.

Someonesayroadtrip · 02/10/2020 14:33

Yes they prescribed tranexamic acid, mefenamic acid and different irons as they were making me sick. Bloods show I'm anaemic but not as much as i would expect but then have been taking iron since it began.

I asked about norethisterone but they said they didn't want me to have that until I was seen, but they were indicating it was imminent to be seen.

So sorry others have give through this.

A&E won't do much, they will just say to contact GP.

I have messaged GP about private today so will see.

OP posts:
Elsewyre · 02/10/2020 14:35

NHS has some of the worst patient outcomes in the developed world hardly surprising

RedMarauder · 02/10/2020 14:37

If you collapse again get any adult with you or even strangers to get you to A&E. They will need to treat the reason why you collapsed.

rosesinmygarden · 02/10/2020 14:44

Phone your GP again and directly ask them to prescribe something which will stop the bleeding. Not just more tranexamic acid if it's not working!

I've had to pay £200 to see a consultant who prescribed it for me and he said the GP could easily have prescribed it. He's happy for me to take it until I'm seen on the NHS in 1-2 years time. Probably in his clinic!

We are probably going to go private and use up our savings as this is affecting my life so much.

The system is broken and as usual, women are bottom of the list of priorities.

Brieminewine · 02/10/2020 14:46

Can your GP not refer you as an emergency admission rather than an outpatient? Our hospital is still seeing, scanning and treating emergency referrals from the GPs the same day in the our assessment areas for all specialities including gynae.

wonderstuff · 02/10/2020 14:47

I'm so sorry. I have a in person gyne appointment next week in Basingstoke. I have been waiting since before lockdown. I had to cancel week before last as we had to isolate and another appointment came quickly.

It was originally non-urgent but now may be urgent due to waiting time but my symptoms are certainly minor compared to yours. Could the GP not refer you to another hospital that has got gyne up and running or a private clinic? I'd write to your MP to see if they can put pressure on the trust. Good luck x

2bazookas · 02/10/2020 15:01

I'd put everything in a formal letter to your MP . Send one copy to the Westminster address and another to the Constituency office. List all dates, symptoms, referrals, and name all Drs and hospitals.

End the letter by saying you have tried all other avenues, are desperate, and ask for their urgent help. Send a copy to both their offices (Parliament, and Constituency)

I've had amazing results via MP intervention.

Someonesayroadtrip · 02/10/2020 15:42

Thanks all.

I contacted the GP, begging them to do something and they said they couldn't but told me to contact the private hospital and then contact them for a discharge summary. I don't know what that means. Does that mean the NHS won't see me at all, I don't have that sort of money to just go fully private.

I did email my MP who then passed it onto a AM as I am in Wales.

I really am at a loss. I do worry about collapsing around my children. But GP doesn't seem concerned as I'm not super anaemic so as long as I can keep taking the iron they don't seem to care.

When I say collapse, I guess I mean faint, I fainted once on the toilet and once in the living room this week and on Sunday I came over all faint and fell over in the shower which I was pretty bruised from.

I would feel a fool going to A&E as I'm not really in huge amounts of pain. It's more very wearing pain if that's sense. I have a lot of backache, and pressure in my side and I'm super raw from pads. I feel they would just ask why I turned up with a heavy period. Like I say, I'm not even super anaemic and I worry they would think I'm lying about fainting as tats how it makes me feel, I don't understand.

OP posts:
Someonesayroadtrip · 02/10/2020 15:46

@Brieminewine

Can your GP not refer you as an emergency admission rather than an outpatient? Our hospital is still seeing, scanning and treating emergency referrals from the GPs the same day in the our assessment areas for all specialities including gynae.
They seem super unwilling to do that. I really hoped they would do more to help me today. Since Friday it's been unbearable, I hadn't had a single day when I have not bled since August 3rd but I have had more manageable days, but since Friday it's bleeding through stuff again several time's a day whereas most of September it's more more bleeding through every 2/3 days. Which I think is why I feel so much worse this week but again makes no sense why I'm not super anaemic.
OP posts:
EvilPea · 02/10/2020 15:47

I’m so so sorry. That’s really really shit. I am not surprised your feeling ill and utterly miserable Flowers

Someonesayroadtrip · 02/10/2020 15:48

@rosesinmygarden

Phone your GP again and directly ask them to prescribe something which will stop the bleeding. Not just more tranexamic acid if it's not working!

I've had to pay £200 to see a consultant who prescribed it for me and he said the GP could easily have prescribed it. He's happy for me to take it until I'm seen on the NHS in 1-2 years time. Probably in his clinic!

We are probably going to go private and use up our savings as this is affecting my life so much.

The system is broken and as usual, women are bottom of the list of priorities.

I did. They said no.

I'm beyond frustrated. It's so crazy how different care is throughout the country. Why can't they just prescribe something and then I can get on with my life bad happily wait until March or whenever, but how can they expect me to wait until March like this.

OP posts:
20viona · 02/10/2020 15:51

If you've been referred under the 2 week wait they HAVE to see you sooner. Go to PALS or A and E.

SavingShoes · 02/10/2020 15:56

Go to A&E.

bloodywhitecat · 02/10/2020 15:59

It seems in some areas that the NHS has ground to a COVID stop. We have been directly affected and for us, the outcome has been just about the worst possible, even A&E turned DP away when he was clearly very sick (we found out this week that the reason he has been so unwell is that he has pancreatic cancer). I wish you luck OP, go to A&E if you can. Have you contacted PALS? Read up on the NICE guidelines sometimes being able to quote them helps.

FourPlasticRings · 02/10/2020 16:07

Oh, good Lord. This is ridiculous. I really hope you get something sorted soon, OP. Flowers

Someonesayroadtrip · 02/10/2020 16:08

@EvilPea

I’m so so sorry. That’s really really shit. I am not surprised your feeling ill and utterly miserable Flowers
Thank you. I know. I think to myself I am being utterly stupid and overactive to basically a period but then I flood through everything or feel super ill and I just think how can they leave me like this.

I know of course so many people are going through worse than me, I know the NHS is struggling but that doesn't really help my situation and the wider impact of my situation.

Yesterday I sat down and couldn't muster the energy to make the children's lunch boxes, my husband is great and did it but I felt like the worse wife and mother. Which is dramatic but I think I really depressed.

OP posts:
Someonesayroadtrip · 02/10/2020 16:10

@bloodywhitecat

It seems in some areas that the NHS has ground to a COVID stop. We have been directly affected and for us, the outcome has been just about the worst possible, even A&E turned DP away when he was clearly very sick (we found out this week that the reason he has been so unwell is that he has pancreatic cancer). I wish you luck OP, go to A&E if you can. Have you contacted PALS? Read up on the NICE guidelines sometimes being able to quote them helps.
I'm so sorry. That's awful. I hope he is receiving care now.

I emailed PALS this afternoon.

OP posts:
IrishCream123 · 02/10/2020 16:11

Go to A&E, you can’t keep going on like this

bestbefore · 02/10/2020 16:16

This absolutely outrageous.
I would be beyond fuming.
How on earth can things be so far behind that urgent cases are taking so long? Utterly crazy as the politicians are insisting the NHS is open.
Can you contact this chap - gov.wales/vaughan-gething-ms Welsh minister for health?

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