Losing the plot with oh's alarm

[chanme]

OH wakes up so early for work. He sets his alarm for 15 mins before he needs to wake up then snoozes it about 3 times. He puts it at bottom of bed so he has to get up to turn it off which means it goes off for so long and it is the most annoying thing ever. Also it wakes the kids earlier than i want them to be up tbh.

How do i handle this without being a cow?

I dont see how it can get better unless i ask can you turn volume down and get up after the first alarm. Which seems mean as you cant control how you act when half asleep haha

Do i just need to deal with it

@Nanny0gg

Is this new or has he always been this selfish?

What difference will 'having words' make to someone like that?

He was not this selfish before about month 7 of pregnancy. It’s an alarming new(ish) development. And I’m hoping it can be rectified.

So words need to be exchanged because he needs to rethink his current actions and attitude. Maybe he could try being the hands on father he imagines himself to be.

Because he’s spectacularly unhelpful right now.

WooMa wow. There's selfish.. and then there's your DH.
No fucking way would I be doing anything in the mornings if I had been up all night with a tiny baby. He should be sorting the other DC.

@KatharinaRosalie

WooMa wow. There's selfish.. and then there's your DH. No fucking way would I be doing anything in the mornings if I had been up all night with a tiny baby. He should be sorting the other DC.

It’s complicated as my DS2 is his DSS. And DP is not supportive of his swimming hobby (which he had before I met DP and it was always the case than training hours would increase and early mornings would come in - he knew it from the very beginning). So I don’t ask him for help with swim runs.

But, yes. He’s being spectacularly selfish. I’m not even asking him to take DS2 anywhere, just look after his baby for the 2 10 minute periods I’m not in the house. That’s not unreasonable at any hour of the day for the father of an 8 week old. Even if the baby is awake, it’s still not unreasonable to ask him to spend 10 minutes trying to settle him while I’m out.

I do make him take all responsibility for his two older DC on the days they’re here. I’m not getting up and giving them breakfast etc, especially not if he is too selfish to do much and change the baby’s nappy in the morning.

DP has been excelling at being really dire in all sorts of ways since May really. I’m hoping it’s changeable. The really incredible thing is that he genuinely seems to think he’s reasonable in all of this. He doesn’t accept that he’s being useless and selfish and just not at all kind to me.

Thankfully I don't have to suffer this nowadays but in the past my ex would let his go on and off for about 1/2 and hour so when he went to bed at night I'd move the clock just out of his reach on my way past so he had to almost get out of bed to snooze it and at that point I'd crocodile roll across the bed with the duvet the stop him getting back in.

Another option is the Time to Wake up free app... its an alarm that forces you to solve puzzles to switch it off. The noise stops as soon as you start trying to do the puzzle and comes back if you stop. You are literally dragged awake, no snoozing possible. Worth a try?

Oh that sounds too much for me.

@WooMaWang

Sorry to hear this. Was he like this when his children were babies do you know?

I wish you luck

[quote Nanny0gg]@WooMaWang

Sorry to hear this. Was he like this when his children were babies do you know?

I wish you luck[/quote]
Not according to him. But I’d put money on him having done a lot less than he says he did.

They were both formula fed from birth though, so he was expected to share the feeding to some extent at least. But I doubt that his account if how much he did (several nights each week allegedly) would match up with his ex’s.

He could just try being grateful that he doesn’t need to get up in the night. His colleagues keep remarking that he must be sleep deprived but he’s not. He can have a full night of sleep every night. I bet he hasn’t told them that though.

He has apologised today for being such an arsehole last night. Apparently it’s because... he’s tired. I kid you not. 🙄

He’s not apologised for this morning’s failure to take responsibility for a sleeping baby for 10 minutes though. He needs to understand quite how crap that is. And that it is him, not me, that is ‘dragging a baby out early in the morning’. You’d think he’d be keen to have an opportunity to be in sole charge of the baby, since he complains he doesn’t get to do things.

I actually think he needs to have a chat to his GP about depression. That might be why he’s been such a selfish pain for the last few months.

@popcornlover

All this people saying he is selfish - I presume he’s going out to work to support a SAHM so just shows how much you all appreciate that.

Fuck off with this shit

@shitinmyhandsandclap No hes not at all i pay more than 50% due to my earnings so not sure why you would assume that.

I just dont need to wake up as early as him

@shitinmyhandsandclap oops my bad this was meant for @popcornlover

@jdoejnr1 Oh no how awkward for you.

I pay more than half thanks very much.

You know what they say about assuming....

I'm going against the majority here but both dh and I snooze. I could not get up at my first alarm (mostly due to very late nights and only having 4-5 hours in bed a night at most. Yes I know the answer is go to bed earlier but it never happens). But regardless I like to have my first alarm a bit earlier than I need, which gives me a bit of time to snooze. My husband is the same so it's no issue at all.
That said sometimes he has to start work at 6, so on those days he does try to snooze less so his alarm doesn't wake up ds and I. But often I set my alarm as well so I can make sure he's up, especially if I know he's tired.
The alarm at the end of the bed would annoy me though.

I do this 🙈 am shite in the morning and it helps me come around.

Dh is up and out way before me though so it doesn't impact anyone else.