Teacher pulling child

[ThatParent2020]

Oh god, I really don't know whether I'm being a twat or not. And I really don't want to be that parent, but I'm new to all this (today was only my sons second full day at school).

When picking our children up from school, we queue up and the teacher calls the child's name to come out of the class room. There was one other parent walking up just ahead of me so the teacher called both her child and mine at the same time. My son came out of the classroom first so his teacher grabbed him by the collar of his coat and pulled him out of the way, presumably so the other child could go to his mum who was first in the queue. My issue is, she really yanked him. Is this normal? Are they allowed to do it? If not, what do I do?

For context, my son didn't seem bothered at all. He's not mentioned it. It's all me being upset so I'm happy to be told to ignore it. Also, up until this point the teacher has been lovely, albeit stressed at drop offs and pick ups.

I've attached a shite drawing to illustrate the situation a bit better. Other family are green spots. We are red spots. Teacher is black spot. The pathway is one way.

OP, you’re not over reacting. These posters saying you are would be the first to complain if they’d witnessed their own 4 year old yanked back. I get that teachers are stressed at the moment, I have and have always had the utmost respect for teachers but they’re human and fuck up like the rest of us. It wasn’t ok but she may well be reflecting on it so I’d let it go and do what you suggest and monitor it. If it happens again then yes I wouldn’t hesitate in bringing it up, I’m no snowflake or an over protective parent but fuck me I’m spending time teaching my kids that we don’t hurt others I’d expect the school to be on the same page (yes op said her child wasn’t hurt but it certainly wasn’t “happy hands” going on there). We can’t use the pandemic as an excuse for lowering our behaviours.

@LindaEllen

I mean, we can see why she did it, and it's probably even more difficult at home time now that there's distancing supposed to be going on, so she wants the child out first who's parent is closest to the door. But that doesn't mean she could yank him. A simple 'Could you let x out first sweetheart?' would have been just fine.

If your son is okay I wouldn't worry too much, but it might be worth mentioning to the teacher or headteacher.

It's one of those things that was incredibly commonplace when I was his age 25 years ago, but isn't really acceptable anymore. Sometimes teachers need a bit of a nudge to get up to speed.

Yes, I remember being a child in the 80s and many teachers.didn't have a clue!

@Smileyaxolotl1 just not possible to do one way with the way our school is set up. Parents stay 2m away. Children are another matter but tbh i don't think a child walking past another parent (who all wear masks) is a massive issue. The children don't distance in their bubble anyway.

Going back to the OP again, still don't get why the 2nd child couldn't go first. People are allowed to walk past other people.

Teacher of over 20 years here and I would never grab a child by the collar. I have had to tell them firmly to stop, or put my hand across their chest to stop them racing past me. We have always had strict rules that they don't come past me unless I say their name, even if they can see their parent, but there's always one who forgets and impulsively shoots forward. I bring each child level with me and make sure they have seen where their parent is on the playground before sending them over.

I would definitely let the teacher know that you were not happy with her grabbing your child the way in which she did. If it was something I saw at work I would speak up. If you don't, it may continue to happen.

Hi i would be annoyed to see my child yanked back to .. i always remember a support teacher asking my child to say please as she was giving something to her but i could tell my child didn't know what she wanted her to say so controlling my child had gdd . I would email the school and ask them to look at a better system for leaving at end of the day.