Wtf do you feed your DC?!

[toiletpaper]

My kids, especially DS barely likes anything and I'm getting really fed up of cooking two or three different meals each evening now. And twice a day on weekends. DD is pretty good but not always. This week for example I've made pasta bake, spag bol and tonight DD fancied burgers. DS doesn't like burgers but he noticed there was bacon in the fridge and said he'd tried that before at his grandparents and liked it. So myself and DD had the burgers in rolls with chips and DS had a bacon roll with chips. However he decided he doesn't actually like this bacon so the dog had it and he ate the roll. He didn't like the pasta bake last night and neither did DD so it's pasta bake 4 times over 3 days for me atm. The only thing he likes that I make is spag bol. Otherwise, the only thing he eats is his 'usual' which is waffles, heinz spag bol and cucumber.

He's been better at trying things lately which I'm thrilled and keep giving him positivity on but he just doesn't like anything I give him and I'm so so fed up of making three different meals every single day and it means I can't make anything remotely nutritious or from scratch as I just can't be bothered once I've done everyone else's food (it's just me and the two DC).

So please give me ideas on kid friendly stuff to make. I don't want to hear 'tell them eat it or they won't get anything else' as this doesn't work as they won't eat what they don't like and I can't leave them go to bed hungry.

Thank you!

@Liverbird77

We have one family meal and that's it. Those who are hungry enough will eat!

This is us too. They can make themselves a peanut butter sandwich but only After they have sat at the table with the family.

A picky tea is always a good one! Loads of different bits on the table, you could always add new bits in and everyone will pick something new at the beginning of the meal to try that they've never tried before?You could alternate it with meals you know they like during the week so you know they're never far away from their next decent meal.

Have you tried getting him involved? Like helping you meal plan/shop/preparing/cooking he could be more interested in eating it if he's helped cook it

Exactly what @Gancanny said but I would add have a food schedule. 3 meals, 2 snacks, maybe a pre bed snack if they won't make it through the night. Other wise top tips there

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Lots of kids dislike certain foods. Just like lots of adults have food dislikes. It's not always behavioural.

It's not behavioural to dislike some foods. It is behavioural to dislike this many foods in this manner. Liking bacon before it's cooked and suddenly disliking it once it's cooked is behavioural, for example.

Keep it really simple.

I choose a protein, a carb and 1/2 veg...this format seems to work better than put together recipes if that makes sense.

So for example i'll do..

Chicken drumsticks, plain cous cous and broccoli

Grilled chicken breast, jacket potato, peas

Sausages, mash, sweetcorn

Chicken goujons, plain pasta, cucumber and carrot batons

Very dull imo but it's what they like!

I tend to rotate similar products in different ways. Faves are
Roast dinner (gammon or chicken)
Chicken & rice
Spag bol
Meatballs & spagetti
Ministrone soup
Pan Haggerty
Pizza
Pasta & sauce
Chicken goujons
Cottage pie
Chicken fajitas
Quorn with spagetti
Lasagne
Chicken curry
Yesterday I made a beef casserole that wasn’t rejected. I was quite pleased!
Sometimes we do a picky tea too

I have never cooked separate meals on a regular basis
When they were little on a Saturday I usually gave them their meal early and then we had a grown up candles and wine meal
Otherwise it was very much take it or leave it

Liking bacon before it's cooked and suddenly disliking it once it's cooked is behavioural, for example

Or it could be something simple like granny cooks unsmoked bacon and mum cooked smoked. So they didn't like the smoked.

Lots of bread and toast

I think the difficulty is that you’re now swimming against the tide to correct really poor food habits.

I know it’s a bit “horse-stable-bolted” but for others reading, whilst it may seem convenient to throw a pizza in the oven for your little toddler you will create poor food habits over time and end up in the above position.

Regardless of how tempting it is when you’re tired or overwhelmed don’t opt for the path of least resistance and just make varied, adventurous, healthy and nutritious food for your kids from the start.

The kids just eat what we eat. We all decide as a family what meals will be eaten the following week. Sometimes there will be something that one of the kids isn't as keen on but they do just have to suck it up. We don't make anything that they physically gag at though :D

Family faves in our house, that all the kids enjoy:
Cottage pie with gravy and veggies (usually cabbage and leeks)
Chile con carne
Tacos
Kedgeree
Macaroni cheese (that I add dijon mustard, cauliflower and baby spinach to)
Thai baked rice
One pot basque chicken (made the mistake of slow cooking this one last week so the chicken was beautifully tender...won't be doing that again as the rice turned to mush!!)

Bridge out from things you know are liked by making small adjustments.

Of the 4 or so items on the plate, make 2 guaranteed likes, 1 a "maybe" and 1 an unfamiliar/new. Dont give enough of the guaranteed likes to really fill up on.

You can send them to bed "hungry". They really wont be that hungry.

Tonight I made vegi curry for us and she had hot dogs with rice, peas, sweetcorn and ketchup.

Have you tried 'tiny tastes'? This helped.

And then just persistent, calm encouragement.

(Although frankly, since he saw Bear Grylls eat a woodlouse and copied him, I'm less sympathetic with the 'I don't lke it' schitck)

It's limited here but red pasta dishes in slight variations of -
Spaghetti bol
Pasta and meatballs
Sausage and tomato pasta with sweet corn

Fajitas but basically they will just eat the chicken in the wraps not the peppers or onions.
Chilli and rice ( dd will not eat the kidney beans though)
Sausage, mash and peas.
Sausage, mash and beans.
Roast chicken dinner.
Jacket potatoes and chicken Kiev.
Battered fish chips and peas.
That's about it. Dh complains we have the same things but otherwise it'll just get binned.

Ps you do have to work quite hard between the ages of 2-4 not to give in to "ever reducing palate". They will try to systematically reduce the range of things until you find yourself giving into cooking only 2 or 3 favourite meals. They have to learn that not liking something isnt the same as it not being a favourite food and that they can't have favourite food every night of the week.

I'm not being smug here, I have fallen prey to it myself with DS and am currently in the process of dragging him out of the rut of 3 or 4 favourite meals. I was lucky my siblings with older kids could see the direction he was headed in and gave me good advice.

I think we often fear "sending them to bed hungry". In reality if they really are hungry they will eat something. The tiny percentage of children with real food aversion (arfid etc) who literally will starve before eating stuff you will notice - if you trying and push a bit more variety and a child really wont eat to the extent they lose weight then it's time to talk to your dr about getting them assessed.

How old are they?
I have one fussy eater, 16 years old, pescetarian for about 8 years, doesn't like anything spicy, no onion, peppers, mushrooms, courgette, aubergine etc. So i make 2 meals most nights, or 2 variations on a meal.

Luckily ds2 eats almost anything, as do I.

Favourites that they both eat here are
Fish pie
Tuna pasta
Macaroni cheese
Kedgeree
Fajitas (ds1 has them with Southern fried quorn chicken or fish) Bowls of salad bits so everyone can make their own.
Egg fried rice
Sausage and mash
Salmon and green bean risotto
Pea and broad bean risotto

Anything that 'needs' onion for flavour i just cut it big enough that ds1 can eat around it. When he was smaller I'd encourage him to try new foods. It took a while. So he might pick up peppers one day. Kiss them another time. Lick them the next and finally taste them. He still doesn't like them though although has tried a few times over the years. He nibbled an olive in the summer.

If you pander to a child who won’t eat a healthy meal by making something different you are giving the child control.
If the choice is take it or leave it and the family eats together you have no problems.
Just ensure they know there is fruit in the fruit bowl but nothing else.

Oh and foodd ideas:

Lamb tagine with couscous.
I use neck of lamb which slow cooks really soft but you could even use mince if you know they accept beef or pork mince in other meals. Apricots & cinnamon give it a sweet taste, few chickpeas, chopped tomatoes.

Mild curry - again sweetish due to coconut & ground almond. Can put whatever protein they will accept in it, whether meat fish or lentils. If they dont like sauces start off on the dry tandoori type Indian flavoured chicken pieces, if you can get them to like that flavour you could move on to sauces and vary up the protein & veg you include.

Eating is about so much more than the foods on offer. If it was as simple as some of the previous posters suggest then eating disorders would not exist. We try and serve ‘family style’ and include things our picky eater may eat. Success is mixed but there’s less tears and I’m no longer making multiple meals. Fussy eating is stressful and guilt inducing and unless youre faced with it people really don’t get it (they’ll eat when they’re hungry enough is neither true nor a way to help a child)

I would never make my DC eat food they didn't like. I now have 2 DC aged 10 and 14 who will eat whatever we serve them. Obvs we choose things the whole family likes, but they will eat all vegetables and a good selection of ordinary meals, so I am happy.

When younger they were picky, but I just worked around it tbh

You don't say how old your DC are.

I didn't do the whole "children's meals" like chicken nuggets and chips as a separate dinner just cooked a family meal and everyone was to try it.

Ds2 had issues with food so I just gave him a teaspoon of whatever we were having in a bowl, ie spaghetti bolognaise or salmon and rice and once he put that in his mouth he could have a sandwich or whatever he would eat, mostly toast with something or bread/wrap with something. That way he was having the tastes and textures of what were eating and he wasn't going to bed hungry.

I made a list of everything he did eat so I could see the protein, carbs but also the variety of stuff he ate from chicken, eggs, cheese, etc. Dessert was yoghurt or fruit.

We also ate in a buffet restaurant so he could try to sample lots of different flavours without committing to a whole meal of it. Obviously he was free to eat a lot of desserts at the end too as they were tiny but it felt like a lot to him.

He is now 14 and eats everything we do except tuna. I make a tuna pasta bake but just put the pasta and sauce to one side for him and add chicken or sausages. I was presented with food I hated most meal times as a child, traditional meat, potatoes and 2 veg, I ate lasagne for the first time at a friend's house at about 15. We didn't have any med-style pasta at my parents house. It took a long time to not get stressed about eating food. I didn't want to do that to Ds2.

Spaghetti hoops with cheesy jacket potato.
Savoury pancakes.
Fish finger sandwich with peas & carrots on the side.
If he likes cucumber might like cubes of melon/watermelon.

@Esspee

If you pander to a child who won’t eat a healthy meal by making something different you are giving the child control. If the choice is take it or leave it and the family eats together you have no problems. Just ensure they know there is fruit in the fruit bowl but nothing else.

That seems such an outdated attitude to me tbh. Why not compromise?

Children who don't like food are not seeking control, they simply don't like some foods!

Mine are two and three and eat what we eat unless we have a takeaway. If they don't eat it then they don't have dinner. We've had phases where they've refused to eat what is in front of them. In these instances, they don't eat dinner and have to wait for a banana or weetabix as supper before they go to bed. We have a rule that they have to at least try everything but we don't make them eat everything.
They will now eat pretty much anything.
My two year old came for lunch with me and had sushi today.