Wtf do you feed your DC?!

[toiletpaper]

My kids, especially DS barely likes anything and I'm getting really fed up of cooking two or three different meals each evening now. And twice a day on weekends. DD is pretty good but not always. This week for example I've made pasta bake, spag bol and tonight DD fancied burgers. DS doesn't like burgers but he noticed there was bacon in the fridge and said he'd tried that before at his grandparents and liked it. So myself and DD had the burgers in rolls with chips and DS had a bacon roll with chips. However he decided he doesn't actually like this bacon so the dog had it and he ate the roll. He didn't like the pasta bake last night and neither did DD so it's pasta bake 4 times over 3 days for me atm. The only thing he likes that I make is spag bol. Otherwise, the only thing he eats is his 'usual' which is waffles, heinz spag bol and cucumber.

He's been better at trying things lately which I'm thrilled and keep giving him positivity on but he just doesn't like anything I give him and I'm so so fed up of making three different meals every single day and it means I can't make anything remotely nutritious or from scratch as I just can't be bothered once I've done everyone else's food (it's just me and the two DC).

So please give me ideas on kid friendly stuff to make. I don't want to hear 'tell them eat it or they won't get anything else' as this doesn't work as they won't eat what they don't like and I can't leave them go to bed hungry.

Thank you!

Home made pizza, if they are at the age of being able to make it. Let them choose their own toppings, my dd is 4 and not keen on pizza in general but always eats one she has made herself.

I also make cheesy pasta with peas, so a cheese sauce with pasta in it. I also make a cheese sauce with salmon, potato and mixed veg in it. This always goes down a treat as is very easy to eat. What about an omlette wrap? Make an omlette, as it is semi cooked add a wrap with tomato puree on on top of it so they kind of stick together. Then flip and cook the other side or add cheese on top and chuck in the oven for a few minutes then fold up into a roll. My kids like being able to hold it and eat themselves, Nadiya from bake off has a good recipe for it. She adds a lot of veg but my kids prefer a simpler version and I add veg as a side salad so they can pick what they want.

I think a lot of other posters have suggested the same things I would have. If they don't eat dinner I would offer some milk and toast or cereal so they don't go to bed hungry. It is completely untrue that they won't go to bed hungry, fussy eaters without any interest in food do and it causes so much stress for parents.

It is essential not to allow drinks other than water.

No, its not. Advice from DS dietician is that water should always be available, squash or fruit juice at mealtimes if they want some, and 1-2 cups of milk a day for the calcium and vitamins (not to mention it being a way to get extra calories and fat into a child who isn't eating much).

I think there is a big difference between allowing squash at mealtimes because you are desperate about your child with sensory difficulties won't drink or introducing it as a normal thing before you even know if your child is going to be struggling.

The truth is, drinking sugared or sweetener-laden drinks on a regular basis really isn't good for us. If the alternative is a dehydrated sickly child, then obviously it's going to be the best out of two bad choices, but that's the best that can be said of it.

Even pure fruit juice rots the teeth and you actually need very small amounts to provide all the vitamin C the body can process: after that there are no health benefits except, in extreme cases of water refusal, the avoidance of dehydration.

Most children will actually accept drinking water or milk on a regular basis if that is presented as the normal everyday thing from when they are very little. Otherwise, it would be impossible to explain why children in other countries do so without difficulties. Scandinavian children, to take one example, do not expect to get squash with every meal. Nor do they expect to be allowed to eat crisps or chips on a daily basis.

Obviously, there are children with sensory issues in Scandinavia too and their parents have to make arrangements accordingly, but what you don't get are NT children who have been brought up to think drinking squash and eating crisps is an ordinary, everyday thing.

To me, the British attitude to food is like insisting all children have to be allowed to use wheelchairs because some children need them. And no, I am not in favour of treating NT children harshly or cruelly when they don't want to walk- nobody should be treated harshly or cruelly. But there is middle ground here.

@OverTheRubicon

The Satter Model saved my sanity.

You set meal times and what is on the table, ensuring there is at least one thing they'll eat (even if that means it's a chicken curry with veg and plain rice and all they're guaranteed to eat is the rice).

You put it on the table. Everyone serves themselves. No-one talks about how much or little anyone's eating, or is left on plates.

After a white knuckle first few weeks of first accidentally overcompensating with lots of cups of milk (don't do that) then being convinced my DS would get scurvy, it's been very good. My kids are not perfect eaters but they are less fussy and critically, mealtimes are conflict free and so much healthier all round in an emotional sense, we can chat about the day and share family time instead of counting how many peas have been eaten..

This. So when we have our niece and DP’s ExW’s children (not his DC but they are NC with their DF & saw Dp as a father figure so they come over for tea often and SIL is a lone parent with severe MH.) We make a meal, whatever we are having. But we also have side stuff like grilled veg, New pots, rice, bread, butter and Or veg or a big salad & crudités with some dips on the table as a side. So if they have, bread, butter, carrots and hoummus they’ve eaten, but more often than not theyll feel relaxed enough to try other things.

It is essential not to allow drinks other than water

Agree with this, although I would add and 1-2 cups of milk a day as well, depending on age and weight. It's only my opinion, but it seems to me one of the worst things health-wise that parents can do for their children is get them into the habit of expecting juice or other sugary or artificially-sweetened drinks with every meal. There may be children with special requirements who can't drink plain water, but they must be in the minority.

To me, the British attitude to food is like insisting all children have to be allowed to use wheelchairs because some children need them.

To me, some posters' views of British parents could do with a little more discernment too. Literally millions of children in this country - the vast, vast majority - will be growing up drinking water and eating foods other than crisps & turkey twizzlers.

"Fussy," eating doesn't automatically mean the child will only eat crisps and turkey twizzlers. I know my own "fussy eater" would hate both of those things.

Ok, I should have been clearer. Murmurmur. It's not the facts of what individual parents choose to do: it's what can be promulgated or practised as relatively mainstream without people being astonished by it. I doubt there are many schools where a substantial number of children don't have crisps in their lunchboxes on a regular basis, where this isn't seen as a normal thing. The kind of food served as dinner to my children over the years showed what the LA's idea of normal was. It wasn't just about economy: boiled spuds aren't actually more expensive than chips, chicken nuggets aren't cheaper than, say, a hash with chicken bits in it.

I agree with you there that school dinners are, in general, awful. Eldest DS is in middle school and they have a canteen style system of dinners where the children have free choice. The menu consists of pizzas, panninis, toasties, sandwiches, crisps, and cookies/muffins plus a daily special of hot meal and pudding. There is no regulation and children could buy five cookies and nothing else if they wanted to (and yes, that child was DS...)

@toiletpaper. My Dniece is now in her early 20s and is an extremely fussy eater, DS's friend is autistic and had very strong preferences for food (think ham sandwich and curry every day for years), DS eats most stuff but doesn't like lots of milky/creamy textures and won't touch chocolate. But he was very much into the 'kids food' up until a year or so ago and he'll still prefer pizza or nuggets if we have a curry (I'm not worried about that now, he eats everything we do apart from that).

What we've all found very successful is doing a meal they like but putting a little taster plate by the side of what we're eating. My friend managed to get her son eating roasts, cheese sandwiches, wraps, fish and chips, bolognese, pizza (which has increased his diet quite a lot from ham sandwiches etc) like that. My Dsis did the same with my niece and she's now much less fussy. I increased DS's food choices doing the same.

If we go on holiday DH and I always put a little of what we're eating on his side plate. We got him onto paella and mussels when we were abroad last time by doing that.

It's literally just a spoonful or two of whatever you're eating, on a side plate. Don't force it. If he doesn't want to try that's fine. If he does just point out that you're really pleased he tried it, did he like it? Then leave it. If you're doing a meal like that again put a bit more on the plate. If he eats a spoonful, that's fine. If he doesn't that's fine too. It's getting tasters going.

DS this week has had beef casserole, sausage toad, fish and chips, chicken casserole and burgers.

Things that go down really well are spag bol, sausages/sausage toad, sausage meatballs in the same sauce as the spag bol (just get sausages, skin them, break into thirds, roll to a ball, fry, stick them in bolognese sauce) - I serve them with rice but I've also popped them into a pasta bake. I don't do sausages/toad/meatballs in the same week just to spread the processed food! Fish and chips and burgers (again I make these with sausages and paxo mixed together, made into burgers then fried or oven baked). And any casserole with dumplings works well!

@Liverbird77

We have one family meal and that's it. Those who are hungry enough will eat!

This. There is no way I will cook differently for everybody. If you want them to like different food, get them involved (slicing, cutting, mixing, etc.) They will start being curious and try different things. It's not that fast or easy but becomes easy once everybody eat the same.

Personally if is that fussy I would just keep giving him his usual and spag bol but always make sure he has the opportunity to try things off your plate. It will save loads of stress and eventually he will get sick of his usual and want to branch out a little or he will start trying things off your plate and realising he likes more than he thought.

I've just remembered another dish I used to make frequently but haven't for ages - boneless, skinless chicken breasts in a baking dish, sprinkled liberally with grated cheese, covered with cut up rashers, baked until chicken was cooked through and bacon was crisp. Served with mashed potato and peas/green beans/broccoli. They rarely ate the veg but the chicken used to disappear.

I'm a bit gobsmacked at how much junk gets fed to children. Why do they even think a waffle, nuggets, beans, fish fingers are an evening meal? If they had only ever eaten proper foods they wouldn't know anything else existed.

They should see beige processed junk as an ocassional thing not something the little people get fed whilst the grown ups eat real food!

Why were they not weaned on different tastes textures? Toddlers can eat vegetables (not bloody carrots and peas but asparagus, mangetout, mushrooms etc) , risotto, olives, curry, lentils, stir fry, salmon etc.

My kids have never been fed a nugget as an evening meal in their lives ( yes at parties, I'm not a fun sponge). I wanted them to grow up appreciating food. They had everything we ate and I don't tuck into waffles and beans at night.

Also they need to be used to the smells associated with cooking as it's a big part of taste. If you shove beige food in the oven or microwave something there is limited smell. Compare that to the smell of onions and garlic cooking and how your mouth waters with the ooh what are you cooking.

Something I read/heard ages ago is you should present something ten times before accepting a child doesn't like something. That seemed weird to me, because I let the kids not like things, that was fine. But from experience as they've grown I have noticed they move on and change without encouragement anyway. I had one who was quite fussy, for example for ages they would eat red peppers raw but not cooked, green peppers cooked but not raw . I just cooked whatever I had in the sauce, and let them pick it out, and after about two years they announced they were fine with any peppers.

So I agree just keep presenting things, they might try it in six months!

I alternate, one meal DS wants - pizza, sausage rolls, spaghetti etc, and a meal I choose. I ignore the moaning.

I cannot live on a diet of beige rubbish and I refuse to cook two meals so this week we've also had sweet & sour pork, seafood risotto and chilli & rice. If he doesn't like it, there is always bread, cheese & tomatoes.

OP, you have my sympathy. My DC had Heinz spaghetti more times than I want to admit because I got so exhausted cooking different recipes that they wouldn't touch. They go through such fussy phases.

Eventually, what I did was create more help-yourself style dinners. They were told that to grow big and strong they had to choose one carb, one protein and three fruit or veg from the table. So I'd cook a dinner, but also put out carrot sticks, cucumber and apple slices, chopped banana and peeled pear, cheese and bread. Let them take what they want, so long as it ticks the list of protein, carb and fresh. Add a glass of milk, a smoothie or home made banana milkshake.

Once or twice a week, they'd get tinned spag with peas, sweetcorn, carrots and grated cheese. Or fish fingers and sweet potato fries etc.

Very gradually they got more interested in food and now they're not fussy at all.

Why were they not weaned on different tastes textures?

Why would you presume they weren't?

DS was offered all sorts from weaning onwards and wouldn't eat any of it. By the time he was a little over a year old he was eating only 3-4 foods and as we continued to try different foods and found ones he would eat, that's what we gave him because it was that or nothing.

Many children, particularly those who sensory issues or neurodevelopment conditions, prefer processed food because it is consistent. A punnet of blueberries will have different sized berries, some will be juicy, some tart, some sweet, some squishy, some firm, and you won't know which one you have until you bite into it. A chicken nugget or a frozen waffle is the same every single time.

Marmite you're very presumptuous. People cook...some babies and children just won't eat a variety.

@Marmitecrackers my DS WAS weaned on different textures. He's got pickier as he got older. I'm not worried, when I was a child I hardly liked anything but as an adult I'm not picky.

Mine too - and she ate EVERYTHING while weaning, we did finger food and mushed up whatever we were having. I cook pretty much everything from scratch, introduce new foods.

Honestly as long as she’s getting a good balanced diet over a week then I’m happy and when it’s calmer because it’s not a battle of wills she’s much more likely to try new and different food anyway

Every child is different

Hi OP my DS is exactly the bloody same! So I'm following for tips. It's just plain pasta here and he may try a cheesy pizza only cheese no tomato so base plus mozzarella but in terms of meat he doesn't eat it except guess chicken dippers... Other DS eats everything so also making separate meals driving me crazy!

Oh my goodness I can so relate to this thread! I have to try so hard not to always end up in an argument with DD11 about food. She will specifically ask me to buy certain foods then refuse to eat them. Or she’ll go through phases of not eating meat ( apparently bacon & burgers don’t count!) & currently she won’t eat fish. No fruit or veg, not even peas. My saving grace is jacket spud with cheese & baked beans as at least it’s filling & reasonably healthy. My dream is for us all to sit down together at the table regularly. If I do a roast DD will eat it ( although at the moment not the meat). She likes Yorkshire puds but refused toad in the hole recently because of the sausages! She’s remarkably healthy but I do worry about the future.

Found a picture that illustrates my earlier post about why some children prefer processed foods.