AIBU to stick DH under next doors new patio

[ipswichwitch]

It’s been bloody baltic here all week, and this is the third time I’ve come home to a freezing house because yet again DH has turned the thermostat down so the heating doesn’t come on 🙄 i have arthritis, I need to be warm or I seize up completely, and I work in a hospital so it’s always warm. But because sunny Jim is alright freezing his tits off in building sites all day, I seemingly have to endure it too.

Either I kill him and shove him under the patio next door has made a start on, or he goes to live in the garage where it’s like Greenland all year round. I haven’t enabled voting because basically I’m right.

I completely feel your pain. DH had it in his head that room temperature is 17'c. I never had any idea how to use our thermostat and every time he checked it, he said it was at room temperature and I was being silly. Until, one day last winter, I looked at it myself (it's up above my head heigh usually so needed a ladder). I hit the roof!! He was beyond shocked to find out that 17'c is not room temperature and not a normal living environment and our house has been toasty warm ever since. I would recommend getting hand warmers for your joints though, they work really well to help.

I am putting a new patio in at the moment. If you live next door to me please don’t put him under my new patio but if you are willing to chop him up a bit he could go in my wormery.

I'll help you!! You are not being unreasonable at all.

Yanbu at all, especially with your condition.

Men tend to have a warmer body temperature so feel happier at a cooler temperature than women (as a rule, not universally). Hence they are always making offices cold with air con etc. But don’t let him convince you that your comfort is less important than his!

Speaking to an aircon engineer about "women's winter" and aircon wars, he said the optimum temp for men is 22 degrees and for women it's 23.

DH has no idea how to operate the central heating but fortunately he also hates being cold.

Our boiler currently claims to be at "52" although 52 what I have no idea

My partner is always warmer than me too, but thankfully it doesn't leave me with physical pain when he turns the heating off!

We have a Nest thermostat, so we can use the mobile app to turn it on from wherever we are. So if I'm on my way home from somewhere I turn it on, so it's toasty warm when I get home. Would that be an option for you?

I can understand your anger at DH, but what have the neighbours done to deserve a rotting corpse under their patio? It's fly tipping.

Don’t even need to fully read the post to say yes, you’re right.
It’s an odd one as I’m the one in my house that can’t feel the cold at all. DP will be sat chattering away with a jumper on and I’ll still be hot. Would never deny him turning the thermostat up though.

Can I put DH in with yours. Been ill both ends since 1:30am. Twice he's come into the bedroom loudly saying 'Still asleep are you?' when it's bloody obvious I am.

Whack the heating up & lock him in the garage, he may still have some practical uses around the house.

Any room in there for mine?

Just a bit of advice, don't bury him in next doors patio that's where the police will look first.

No, not the patio, the slabs are liable to heave and cause tripping. Compost or wormery as suggested by PP.
As a fellow sufferer I sympathise and you deserve
20C and gifts from him of silk thermals. Should be minimum of comfort for you with arthritis.

Yanbu. This reminds me of a thread a while ago where people were talking about various men in their lives who seemed unable to understand that people had different experiences to them. For example they weren't hungry so no one else was. Just seems like an extension of this.

I know this is light hearted but seems like an extension of this self involved behaviour

@StCharlotte

Speaking to an aircon engineer about "women's winter" and aircon wars, he said the optimum temp for men is 22 degrees and for women it's 23.

DH has no idea how to operate the central heating but fortunately he also hates being cold.

Our boiler currently claims to be at "52" although 52 what I have no idea

The boiler should be in Celsius as well - but at 60 Celsius minimum to avoid catching something nasty from it.

It's unlikely to be 52 Fahrenheit, as that's only about 11 Celsius, which would be way too cold for hot water. And the boiler would have to be positively prehistoric to use old temperature units of measurement.

I have the opposite problem. I am comfortable with a baseline of 16-18.5C through winter with the option to whack it up for an hour if necessary (got a shit hot condenser boiler installed last Spring and it takes about 2 minutes to start punting hot water through the two radiators that make the most difference - they're close enough to me that the brief heat is plenty to get me warmed up).

DP, however, read something online about how people like me (fucking arthritis) need it set higher, so I end up gasping for air, look at the thermostat display, realise he's changed it to something utterly ridiculous (and is wandering round in boxers and a hoodie because 'it's quite warm in here') whilst I open the back door and contemplate sleeping on the back step if it doesn't cool down soon..

He's constantly asking 'Are you warm enough?' and still turning it up. YES I FUCKING AM.

AND THEN THE TWAT SWITCHES IT ON OVERNIGHT.

When I hit perimenopause, the silly fucker's going to be patioed unless he sits on the bed armed with a spray bottle all night.

I haven’t enabled voting because basically I’m right.

I love this

Can I put mine in there too? I'm wfh & he's furloughed. To be fair he's catching up on repairs & other jobs so that is good. The downside to this us he's in & out of my office space & leaving the back door open. I might just permanently lock him out as he seems to love the outside temp so much!

I’ve got 3 German Shepherds OP, I’ll send em round.

My exH was like this, constantly turning it down when I was cold and had about 4 layers on (I have fibromyalgia and arthritis)

One of the reasons he is an ex....

Current partner feels the cold too so we are never arguing over the heating 😁 we have hive too so can control from phones

How big is the patio... asking for a friend

I'm with your husband and I work in a hospital.

I think you might be married to my DH. Thermostat wars have begun in this house too. Things are even worse than usual this year cos he's working from home when previously he would have been out for the house for 10 hours every week day. I'm in for a winter of being permanently bloody cold.

I'd be roasting at more than 17 degrees and I would be wheezing, but if you have a condition that makes warmer temperatures necessary then your husband should just accept that's how it needs to be.

I'd second the suggestion about the compost heap, you could chuckle to yourself about all the extra heat he would be generating!

I honestly feel this should be some kind of criteria for online dating - tall, GSOH, likes the heating on in winter.....

Mine’s the same, he lives in shorts all year round & says ‘oh you’ve put the heating on!’ all surprised when it’s 2 degrees outside and sideways rain.

YABU
You need to find a patio further away.