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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Affording Uni

528 replies

bustybetty · 30/09/2020 08:26

My daughter (year 13) is considering uni. We are a normal family with no parental help (handouts) hubby is on 50K and my work is about 20K, we live in a modest house and have three teens as well. My question is I have just looked at the maintenance loan she would be entitled to and it doesn't even cover the cost of the accommodation - how do people afford this? We don't have spare money and I coupon where I can, we don't have phone contracts or gym memberships. I don't understand how most people afford to send their children to uni. Currently I'm thinking she will have to take a year out to work to be able to afford it.

ideas anyone?

OP posts:
supernova21 · 20/02/2021 02:44

@Camomila

It was quite tough to see my peers receiving double the amount of money on student loan day

I always got the max loan - I grew up on a HA estate and got FSM. You probably wouldn't have wanted to swap with me.

Snap! To make matters worse my lovely mother wouldn't have me back for the holidays. She saw it as me moving out; prephaps it's a class thing? So the money had to last me all year with regards to accommodation, ect. I supplemented this with part time work.
OP, it sounds like you need to restructure your finances or take out a loan for her. Good luck.
Ploughingthrough · 20/02/2021 03:17

My parents couldn't afford for me to go to uni, similar very middle income and 3 kids. I had maximum loans and I paid my rent from from these. I went to uni about an hour from home and still came home most Saturdays to work in the shop I worked at for years. I then worked as much as I could during the holidays. I graduated with a lot of debt, still have quite a lot of it, but I don't regret it otherwise I wouldn't be able to do the job I do now.

Ploughingthrough · 20/02/2021 03:21

As for my kids, by the time they go to uni we hope to have a household income of 100k - it's not this now but it's 10ish years away for DD1 if she goes so we can reasonably expect our salaries to make it there based on our combined income now. So we will help fund as much as we can. I live near a decent uni that they could commute to if it offered an appropriate course, and we also live in commuting distance of London so those options would be available for them. We are just about to buy a bigger house in recognition that they might be wanting to stay there through uni or as young adults. I expect to shell out for a long time to come yet! We're also saving ISAs in their names which we hope will be 8-10kish by their 18th birthdays. This is for them to use as living/fun money for university and if they piss it up quickly I won't be replacing it.

redtshirt50 · 20/02/2021 03:35

My mum was a single mum on 20K with twin daughters and we both managed to go to uni.

We both worked since we were 14 (paper round from 14-16), didn't have driving lessons because we couldn't afford it. Didn't go to any clubs because we couldn't afford it. Didn't go on holiday because we couldn't afford it.

We got loans and grants from the university and used the money from our jobs. I also worked basically full-time throughout the summer.

You can afford to send your children to university, you're just choosing to spend the money on other stuff.

Your children are INCREDIBLY privileged.

Money doesn't grow on trees and your children should know that. Sit down and have an honest conversation about costs. Let them choose.

They can get a job, stay local, or stop the clubs and driving. Up to them.

P.s sorry I haven't read the whole thread but I just had to comment

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 20/02/2021 03:49

I'm a single mum of 3 and my older 2 are at Uni and have part time jobs of had during this. My salary is only £26K and I have no help at all, it is doable but my kids along with pretty much everyone else are currently studying from home even thou we paid upfront for the accommodation cheers to Covid!!

CutePixie · 20/02/2021 04:13
  1. £70k is a high income, way above average, and you are expected to help pay for your DC’s university costs. Parents with less money obviously can’t financially help their DC nearly as much, hence why working class students have a higher maintenance loan.
  2. Shop around for accommodation you can afford.
  3. Stop paying for driving lessons. Your DC can save up their money or ask for it as their birthday present.
  4. Encourage DD to do a part-time job whilst at university.
  5. You really need to sit down and look at the costs of university and how you can budget.
Mally2020 · 20/02/2021 04:17

my parents, mum a deputy head and dad a legal assistant couldn't even afford foreign holidays, I had multiple siblings and due to financial and space difficulties moved out at 16 and get higher independence payments I am now almost 23 and just finishing off my degree but haven't had anything off my parents in 6 years

Mally2020 · 20/02/2021 04:20

Although I agree 70k in todays times is about average for 2 parents if slightly under average, and people need to stop advising 'get a job' THERE ARE NONE OR LIMITED WHERE YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP STUDY TIME

SarahBellam · 20/02/2021 05:48

Most students work. The idea that students are lazy, drunk, entitled layabouts is largely a tabloid myth. Of course, you will always get a few who conform to that stereotype but most are either working minimum wage jobs or have caring responsibilities. Most of my students work in care homes, city centre shops, nightclubs, bars and restaurants.

Notalotatall · 20/02/2021 06:39

Can your daughter move into a grandparents house. If she is estranged from you and not in the household then the household income can’t be taken into account.

GuppytheCat · 20/02/2021 07:02

This thread is several months old and seems to have been bumped by someone trying to get students to fill in a survey. I doubt the OP is reading it.

triptrapdollydumpling · 20/02/2021 07:02

We pay for accommodation whilst maintenance loan funds everything else for our child at uni. If they go to a RG uni the first year is tough so a part time job isn’t generally recommended. Unfortunately you will need to reprioritise. We spent many years funding music and sport extra-curricular (incidentally uni child no longer does any of these and has chosen a completely different sporting path!). Never had a foreign holiday.

triptrapdollydumpling · 20/02/2021 07:03

Bugger! Grin

SimonJT · 20/02/2021 07:16

It was quite tough to see my peers receiving double the amount of money on student loan day

I grew up in a very low income household, we shared a property with another family and were FSM children, I was thrown out at 17 (as were my siblings). University was the first time I ever experienced food security.

JufusMum · 20/02/2021 07:16

We are in the same boat, DD gets minimum maintenance loan which doesn’t event cover the rent. We pay the rent and DD lives on maintenance loan. I have taken on a second job to afford this. I am working 70+ hours a week. DD is trying to get a part time job but she is living in an area of high unemployment and Covid hasn’t helped.
I think it’s so wrong that the maintenance loan is means tested against parents income (but not outgoings). DD’s friend who has parents on benefits gets nearly 12k whereas DD gets 3.8k. It’s not a level playing field. And anyway aren’t they supposed to be adults at 18? DD is at uni in Wales and Welsh students get the same maintenance loan regardless of parents income.

yearinyearout · 20/02/2021 07:32

If they go to a RG uni the first year is tough so a part time job isn’t generally recommended.

It's nothing to do with whether they go to a RG uni or not 😂 whether they can manage a p/t job is dependent on what degree they are doing. Medicine, sciences etc where they're in labs til 5.30 daily, not much chance to fit in a job. Other courses with less contact time they should manage (I have one of each, the scientist didn't work term time but worked summer hols and saved it as a back up fund, the business student worked a couple of afternoons in retail and managed fine)

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 20/02/2021 09:42

I was at university (10 years ago, so nothing fundamental has changed with maintenence loans for someone in your income category) with someone who's parents refused to help financially. Both his parents were GPs and claimed they couldn't afford to Hmm He worked so many hours in Starbucks that in the end he had to drop out of his physics degree because he couldn't keep up with both his academic and paid work.

By the way, there's cheaper accommodation at Durham than the £8k you quoted. Self catering shared bathroom is £5.5k. Obviously you have to account for the cost of food, but that would be much less than £2.5k (that's £62.50/week even if you assume she's there for 40 weeks!)

Driving lessons aren't a necessity. I started at 17 and then stopped after dad was made redundant and we couldn't afford it anymore (he promised to teach me himself, and didn't bother, but that's another story). I didn't pass my test until I was 23 and working, didn't get a car until I was 27 and got a company car, and nowadays only run a car because I'm self employed and need to transport more kit than is doable other ways. Before having a car, a combination of having a bike for local journeys and getting the train for longer journeys was entirely sufficient - even when I was in jobs that involved a great deal of travel around the country.

Fundamental issue, however, is you've had more children than you can afford and they've got hobbies that are beyond your means. Ask yourself - what's more important, their education or their hobbies?

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 20/02/2021 09:43

As your kids play for England, are you aware of TASS? www.tass.gov.uk

Cpl1586407 · 20/02/2021 09:44

In other countries there is an expectation that uni is expensive so people start funds when their children are born. That's what mine did.

Shopgirl1 · 20/02/2021 09:50

I’ve been putting aside what I can each month since they were little in a college fund.

Howmanydalmations · 20/02/2021 10:02

@Shopgirl1

I’ve been putting aside what I can each month since they were little in a college fund.
Same
GLTM · 20/02/2021 10:10

My grandparents saved for my driving lessons and I will be forever grateful. Enabled me to get a job in a gap year which required a car and one in the university holidays that required a car,and so much more. I will want to help my kids at uni to.

If you have a mortgage, could you remortgage for a few years? Though I don't know if interest rates cheaper with student loans.

I think there are money chat threads with surveys you can get paid for etc - perhaps you could all do one a week now - though I haven't done it so know idea if it's that simple!

GuppytheCat · 20/02/2021 11:15

The OP’s child may well have decided to apply somewhere else anyway in the months since this thread started.

Baws · 20/02/2021 19:04

I’ve got 2 currently at uni and it is expensive. Youngest DD is at an RG uni but her halls were only 5K. She applied for the cheapest halls and got a job as soon as she could. I am not sure why people are advising a student loan, the OP clearly stated that she’s looked into this and 4K is the maximum student loan she can get. I am slightly baffled that people are suggesting to ask grandparents as well, I’m sure OP would have done this if it was an option and I also feel that these posters with wealthy parents must live in a different world to me. Hmm

Mookie81 · 20/02/2021 19:37

@JufusMum

We are in the same boat, DD gets minimum maintenance loan which doesn’t event cover the rent. We pay the rent and DD lives on maintenance loan. I have taken on a second job to afford this. I am working 70+ hours a week. DD is trying to get a part time job but she is living in an area of high unemployment and Covid hasn’t helped. I think it’s so wrong that the maintenance loan is means tested against parents income (but not outgoings). DD’s friend who has parents on benefits gets nearly 12k whereas DD gets 3.8k. It’s not a level playing field. And anyway aren’t they supposed to be adults at 18? DD is at uni in Wales and Welsh students get the same maintenance loan regardless of parents income.
No it's not a level playing field; the child growing up with parents on benefits is coming from behind your child with financial disadvantages Hmm.
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