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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Affording Uni

528 replies

bustybetty · 30/09/2020 08:26

My daughter (year 13) is considering uni. We are a normal family with no parental help (handouts) hubby is on 50K and my work is about 20K, we live in a modest house and have three teens as well. My question is I have just looked at the maintenance loan she would be entitled to and it doesn't even cover the cost of the accommodation - how do people afford this? We don't have spare money and I coupon where I can, we don't have phone contracts or gym memberships. I don't understand how most people afford to send their children to uni. Currently I'm thinking she will have to take a year out to work to be able to afford it.

ideas anyone?

OP posts:
Yogaroll · 30/09/2020 08:44

She could go to a local uni and live at home or she can get a job. This is what most students have always had to do. When I was at uni my maintenance loan covered my accommodation (3k) and that was it. I got a job in a restaurant to pay for food and nights out. My parents sent me the money when I needed to pay for course materials and books.
You have a decent amount of household income, your issues arise from having 3 teenagers (who are expensive) and they could potentially all be going to uni at the same time. Maybe think about saving a bit for the other two. Maybe cancel your cheap foreign holiday for a few years and reduce the after school clubs. 20k on after school clubs is ridiculous. That's pretty much my whole salary too!

(I don't think 'handouts' isnt a very classy way to describe someone's parents choosing to help them out.)

Burnthurst187 · 30/09/2020 08:44

£70k and struggling Confused

Lyricallie · 30/09/2020 08:45

When I went to uni my mum essentially said pick one close as they can't afford for me to go further afield. Luckily where we lived there were a fair few decently regarded unis. Also there were quite a few people on my course who still lived at home. However this obviously depends if you live in a "university city".

I worked part time, call centre work so I could work in the evenings and then didn't interfere with uni. However in retrospect it did interfere and I wish I had reduced my hours. I still got a 2:1 but I was so stressed with it all I ended up in hospital. Maybe start saving now so she can stop part time work in her final year and you can help her out?

Also why are you paying for driving lessons? That is definitely something that can be saved up for.

Original poster
bustybetty · 30/09/2020 08:45

@Ragwort

Surely driving lessons are a special birthday gift at 17 not routine household expenses?
You don't just have a couple of lessons these days. Not sure how old yours are but our lessons are blocks of 10 hours for £280. They need quite a few to pass too, I have four teens!!!
OP posts:
AmandaHoldensLips · 30/09/2020 08:46

We totally skinted ourselves when it came to uni. Being of middle-income, no help or grants available. I drove around in an old banger, no foreign holidays, baked beans on toast, no luxuries at all. It was totally worth it and we survived. Kids all grown up now.

JaceLancs · 30/09/2020 08:46

Both DD and DS had pt retail jobs from 16
I could not have afforded driving lessons both passed at 17 and had saved enough for a run around
DD went to local university stayed at home and carried on working part time
DS went to university where halls were around £5k (8 years ago) he worked 20 hours in retail and also has an online business
I was a lone parent on average wage - I helped out by doing occasional food shop - paying 1/2 car insurance and wherever I could

Ragwort · 30/09/2020 08:47

I think a part time job is part of the 'overall university expereience', I have fond memories of working in a student night club when I was at Uni in the 70s Grin, a fun night out and being paid for it. My DS found a great job in the local football club in his uni city, again, great fun, enjoy the match and get paid for it ... and you are meeting different people from just students.

I know it's harder in Covid times but babysitting is a great way to earn £££s in a Uni town or city and if you get the right family you may get a meal and a quiet evening to study in the comfort of someone else's home.

SnuggyBuggy · 30/09/2020 08:48

I had a maintenance loan and my summer job covered my rent. If practical I'd postpone the driving lessons, insurance is very expensive for under 25s and if she doesn't need to drive as a student it can wait.

Seeline · 30/09/2020 08:48

@Therealjudgejudy

She could work for a year beforehand...or get a student loan. It's not rocket science Grin
The student loan is means tested on parents'' income.

At £70k she will only be entitled to the minimum loan - this year that is about £4.1k. Most halls accommodation costs between £4.5 - £6.5k with all other living costs - food, travel, course costs, entertainment/socialising etc on top of that. Parents are expected to make the loan up to the maximum amount of just over £9k, but in expensive cities, even this won't be enough without the student getting work. In the current climate this will not be easy with the most popular sectors for part time work (hospitality and retail) really struggling.

OP don't forget you will make some savings with your DC not being at home in terms of food, activities etc.

Cocomarine · 30/09/2020 08:48

You’re used to affording luxuries, you now have to think about channeling the money elsewhere.

You’re talking about driving lessons... I learned when I was 23, and could afford to. None of children need driving lessons.

You’re spending a £20K salary on clubs!

Gatr · 30/09/2020 08:48

Its worth looking at things like accommodation. My university was pretty much only halls for first year. There is a weigh up between accomodation thats cheaper per week but are for a whole year or halls that are usually more expensive per week but you dont pay for the summer gaps.

Having a summer accomodation gap can mean you can come home and work, but equally means in a very studenty place that you might not be considered for a job in your student town.

Griselda1 · 30/09/2020 08:49

I earn 30k and my 3rd is currently going through university. Despite my earnings being less than 50 percent of yours, I've also been in a situation where the loan doesn't cover the accommodation. We've had to be careful of locations although two of them have gone to Russell group uni's and they've been in expensive areas.
It's tough and my children have worked round the clock , worked for the universities etc.
It's worked out ok for them but my major disappointment is how totally inaccessible post primary degree education is. They wouldn't even be covered for the fees and no provision for living costs.
House deposits are a major issue, at one time we were paying for full summer rental on two houses and having to raise deposits and rent for their next year's houses.

HorsesDogsNails · 30/09/2020 08:49

My DS only qualifies for the minimum maintenance loan due to our family income, we pay for his accommodation whic( is nearly £6k per year in 3 instalments and he works full time at McDonald's during the holidays for his spending money. We felt by us paying the fixed cost he learns to budget for food, clothes and going out and he sees the money coming in and out.

On £70k per year it's expected that you will support her, that's the point of means testing!

Original poster
bustybetty · 30/09/2020 08:49

@Lyricallie

When I went to uni my mum essentially said pick one close as they can't afford for me to go further afield. Luckily where we lived there were a fair few decently regarded unis. Also there were quite a few people on my course who still lived at home. However this obviously depends if you live in a "university city".

I worked part time, call centre work so I could work in the evenings and then didn't interfere with uni. However in retrospect it did interfere and I wish I had reduced my hours. I still got a 2:1 but I was so stressed with it all I ended up in hospital. Maybe start saving now so she can stop part time work in her final year and you can help her out?

Also why are you paying for driving lessons? That is definitely something that can be saved up for.

paying for driving lessons because I think its a life skill and important to get in the bag before possibly leaving home. My eldest got his and then only used it and got a car when he landed a job. Point is it would be horrible trying to learn once you see your dream job and then can't get there!
OP posts:
Racoonworld · 30/09/2020 08:50

Your problem is you’re paying for too much for your dc. Not any families unless really high earners pay for competition level clubs, music lessons, driving lessons and uni for their children. Why can’t they get a Saturday job and pay for their own lessons and help with uni costs? You’re trying to live a high earning life on a lesser income.

Ragwort · 30/09/2020 08:50

Yes I know driving lessons are expensive but surely they can contribute, and it is their birthday or Christmas present for that year?

People have to make choices about how to spend their money (and how many children to have Grin) ... nearly all my DS's friends were given cars when they passed their test, we wouldn't have dreamed of that, yes we live fairly rurally etc etc but our DS has to learn to manage without his own car.

Twigletmama · 30/09/2020 08:51

If she represents England , it might be worth looking at a sports scholarship.

OddBoots · 30/09/2020 08:51

I think if you are paying all that our for sports and paying for your children to learn to drive then you have unusual expenses and you have 3 children so more than average too - you as a family will have to decide if that means you can't afford a university education for your children.

Butchyrestingface · 30/09/2020 08:51

I live in Scotland so uni here was free. However, my single parent teacher mother could certainly not have afforded to help with accommodation costs so I went to uni 1.5 hours away from where I lived and travelled back and forth every day.

And there were no driving lessons!

It seems you will have to make savings elsewhere, OP. Unless you live out in the arse end of nowhere with no public transport network, your kids don't NEED to learn to drive (right now) and this can be postponed until they're earning, surely?

Beamur · 30/09/2020 08:52

You have 3 other kids, presumably some of these will also want to go.
This is why some people start saving early.
We've put 2 kids through Uni. Extra money coming from 2 sets of parents and Grandparents too. It's very expensive, even if your kids are careful.
I think you need to look to see what of your current commitments you can cut back on to be honest. Whilst you may not have much spare money, your income is high and that's pretty much all that gets taken into account. If I remember rightly they make an allowance for any other kids if they're preschoolers but that's all.

Malin52 · 30/09/2020 08:52

Granted I went to uni 20 years ago and my tuition fees paid but both my parents were unemployed (made redundant from northern town shipyards and mines) and were unable to give me a penny.

I took a year out after my a-levels and worked full time in a shop while living at home. I saved most of that money for uni. That didn't touch the sides so once I got to uni I worked two part time jobs during term and full time over summer holidays. I could take a small amount of loan so took that and I got a tiny grant too.

I lived bloody frugally and lived in the cheapest rentals possible. I was pretty good at making food stretch too.

I got a 2:1 and I'm now a partner in a corporate law firm and I've worked globally.

It's all possible OP. I didn't need my parents to be earning 70k but shit it would have helped.

ghostyslovesheets · 30/09/2020 08:53

They work and pay their way!

Single parent of 3 teens - eldest two got jobs as soon as they where 16 and will work through Uni - as I did

I’d love to be as poor as you!

Ragwort · 30/09/2020 08:53

Busty ... of course it's tough if you can't drive but again, it's part of life's experience to deal with these challenges, my DH has a young person reporting to him, he can't drive, the job needs driving skills (my DH didn't appoint him Grin), the young person has made it his mission to pass his driving test so that he can do his job .... it gave him something to aim for and fortunately he passed first time.

senua · 30/09/2020 08:53

Currently I'm thinking she will have to take a year out to work to be able to afford it.
Considering the miserable life that students are having currently during Covid then delaying for a year sounds an excellent plan. Earning some money in that year makes the plan sound even better.

hammeringinmyhead · 30/09/2020 08:54

I also went to Durham. I would guess £7k is for catered in college at least? It is so much now. It was £1k a term when I went, catered.