AIBU-I know I am but WWYD. Covid/work related

[BowtieBling]

One week into self isolation as member of household tested positive.
Boss wants me back in work.
I know I should've said no but I was chicken shit. I went in. He's said it's good that I'm back, asked if I'm well.
I am fine. Tested negative after slight temperature last week BUT I should not be in work. I should be isolated for 14 days from onset of symptoms.

So now what?
I'm feeling like such an idiot for not standing up to him. I've gone against the rules and potentially put others at risk.
The only saving grace is that I work in a room alone and haven't left that space.
The boss came in though and has then presumably mixed with everyone else.

I don't know what to do tomorrow.
Can I refuse to go in? Is it too for me to pull it back now or have I already burst that bubble by agreeing to go in?

@ImSleepingBeauty

Have read and understood the update but this still makes me so, so angry.

Has anyone any constructive advice as to how I can do the right thing without losing my job
In your shoes I would put in writing that you acknowledge his reassurances but having checked the guidelines yourself you now realise you can’t come in. Insert the guidelines. I would not admit to making a mistake. I would not admit to knowing I shouldn’t have. You were following his instructions.
I would stand firm on not returning to work until the end of the suitable time period. If he calls you and puts pressure on to return tell him you can’t and if he pushes further ask for time to seek legal advice. Follow up the details of the conversations from now on in writing and if he doesn’t back off go above him/make HR aware.

This 100%

Presumably you had symptoms and that is why you took the test, only people with symptoms are supposed to take tests due to chronic shortages.

You had a negative result, so that ends quarantine doesn’t it? Had you not had a test, then I agree 14 days self isolation.

You had a negative result, so that ends quarantine doesn’t it?

No it doesn't. The incubation period is 14 days so if she's living with (or a close contact of) someone who has had a positive test, she needs to isolate regardless of the test as she could test negative and still develop it. Which is part of the reason you don't waste tests when you are not symptomatic

You had a negative result, so that ends quarantine doesn’t it?

No, because someone in OP's household has tested positive. Even if she was negative when she did the test, she may have been exposed to the virus since then.

Why can't people understand this stuff, it's basic common sense.

@devildeepbluesea no not SAHM. Pregnant NHS worker, I also work with someone who's had recent cancer treatment and people with COPD. These are my friends and colleagues. No way on this earth would I risk their or my health. It is completely selfish. She can't lose her job for it and if she did there's a lawsuit right there. The £10k fine is to stop this.

@supersonicginandtonic of course she could lose her job. What world do you live in?

And for her to actually be.able to take it to tribunal she needs 2 years'service. And if she has that, she needs the time and mental energy to follow through. For probably peanuts.

Somebody did this at my DD's workplace. The following week two colleagues tested positive and another the day after them. In the meantime they had all taken public transport home, kissed their DC who then went off to school, been into local shops etc.

Obviously it can't be proved definitely that it was passed on from the original staff member but fuck me, how irresponsible and you can see how these things spread. My DD was terrified she would get it and pass it on to me as (I am on the shielding list in a local lockdown area). I felt so badly for her. She was so angry she was considering resigning but a. She needs the job and b. it's done now and c. Everything was investigated and procedures put in place, apparently loads of desks are moved around and taped off and there are signs up etc.

I don't know the exact details but I think it was investigated as an "outbreak" as there was a certain number of cases linked in a very small area in a specific time scale, and PHE (?) were involved.

Sorry I meant to say the original colleague should have been self isolating as their DC had tested positive and they knew they should have been SIing when they went in. So fucking selfish and stupid (and believe me I know about losing wages and jobs especially if you're an agency worker, and the wait for benefits to pay out when this happens) but it is so selfish to literally risk other peoples lives for your own sake.

Well, this is a nice thread

OP, the rules are extremely confusing and I totally understand why you felt under pressure to agree to go in.

I think the best move is to say that you didn’t realise you had broken the law and don’t want the company to be in trouble

If you're starting work later today, email if possible along the lines above, realising you've checked the guidelines so can't go in etc. If he phones don't answer, let him put whatever he wants to say in writing (that way you've got proof if he's putting unreasonable pressure on you to break the law).

@JKRowlingIsMyQueen

I'm literally so confused with these rules. The same thing happened to my friend today, he came in to contact with someone positive, got tested, is negative. But according to the NHS app he does not have to isolate because he has tested negative.

Was your friend asked to test? If so, he will have been told what next steps to take.

If he developed symptoms, then was tested, he will have been told what to do.

If he wasn't told to test, and didn't have symptoms, he's an arse. And should still he in isolation.

It's illegal not to self isolate if you have been told to. You should be at home and should not be going into work.

Who do you obey more - your manager, or the LAW?

Don't go in. It's that simple.

FFS - this thread has made me so angry - at the lack of empathy and understanding towards OP and the fact so many posters seem to be incapable of understanding that it is not straightforward to follow the rules if:

• You are bullied and intimated by someone who thinks they are above the law and acts accordingly
• You are scared of losing your job and livelihood
• the options for alternative employment in this Covid world are pretty non-existent

I take it some of the posters here are speaking from positions of privilege - they work for organisations with HR departments, clear policies around pay and covid, don't worry about money etc etc

OP I am really sorry you were bullied and intimidated - it is a shit and scary position to be in, particularly if it is by someone who is slightly shady too (I know I have been there when I was younger in a small organisation where one individual had absolute power and was quite willing to cross the line).

I would email and say you won't be coming into the office as you have confirmed the situation and you need to self-isolate at home for 14 days from whichever date and you would appreciate it if your boss could arrange for work that you can do from home.

@Newjez

It really shouldn't be that hard to follow the simple rules should it? This should be bleedingly obvious. You don't go in.

Not really helpful if you have a knobend of a boss and aren't independently wealthy though.

Just tell them you've realised you were breaking the law going in and don't want your employer to get a hefty fine by you doing so

This might help. Personally I think there should be a place to report these employers so they do get some special attention.

Thanks for the hate people.
I hold my hands up that I caved under pressure.

I don't think some people realise the immense pressure that dodgy blokes like him can put you under.
I understand the anger. I'm mad too but I also felt cornered.
I drove to work yesterday feeling like shit. I went straight to my office which is by the front entrance. Nobody came in my room and I didn't interact with anyone other than the Boss.
I've emailed him. I'm not going back. Had missed calls from him but I don't want him to verbally bash me or blame me or try to worm out of his responsibility here.
I've texted him to say I can't talk right now. So far he hasn't texted back or replied to the email.

In the email I said that as he.knows I didn't agree that going back was wise and that I spent some time yesterday looking at government advice about the isolation period. Said that I was not happy to go into work as he wants and that his reasons for it being safe do not align with the official guidance. I have asked him to agree that the only right thing to do is for me to continue to work from home as best I can until the end of the isolation period provided I or anyone else in my house do not become unwell with symptoms during that time.

I'm doing the best I can to do the right thing and keep my job so that I can provide for my family without putting others at risk.
He does not give a shit.
He is the ultimate boss in the building.
I don't want to contact the head office until he responds in writing.

Thank you for the advice and understanding from those who gave it.

He sounds awful, and you've done the right thing putting it in writing. Having seem people in similar situations I would write down everything in future (covid related or not) and start keeping a folder of evidence. Have you got a union? Hope you stay well and good luck.

@Fallpoetry

Think people are being a bit harsh on OP when really it's the boss who is in the wrong here.
No-one is being harsh on the OP. It is illegal for her to not be self-isolating. Her boss is in the wrong but she is also in the wrong.

Not everyone is in a position to say no to their employer, even when the law is on their side.
Yes, they are. The OP is an adult and has a responsibility to obey the law and rules.
They have a responsibility not to go outside their household when they definitely know they have been in close contact with covid. She could end up responsible for infecting others who then infect more vulnerable people who die.

Large fines have been brought in for employers who try to get employees to work when they have been told to self-isolate. They need to report their employer and grow a backbone.

OP, set your mobile up to automatically record all of your telephone conversations.

If you let your boss treat you badly and he always gets away with it then he will never change his behaviour. You are responsible for allowing him to continue to mistreat you. Stand up for yourself and get a fine dished out to him.

@BowtieBling
to be fair, you realise you have made a mistake and now want to put it right. You have had some really nasty responses here and I'm sorry for that.

If it were me I would come up with a little white lie something on the lines of NHS test and trace have called me to check that (positive person) is still self isolating and that because I have been in contact with them I should not be in work for 2 weeks regardless of negative test.

There seems to be some incredibly naive people on this thread.

Not everyone works for a lovely organisation who look after their staff, or where there is an HR department where you can voice your grievances and expect to be listened to and heard. Many of us work for absolute arseholes who believe they are above the law and dangle our livelihoods in front of us.

OP has recognised that she needs to stand up to her boss and has responded to him quoting the current guidelines and has said she will not be in.

Why some people have to behave like playground bullies is beyond me. Surely you have the intellect to respond to someone without the nastiness.

🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

@doodleygirl people do this though.
They take the moral high ground and berate others for stuff as though they are infallible.

I get that people find me going into work abhorrent. I really didn't want to but felt under such pressure.
It's fine for others to slate me.
They probably feel really happy with themselves for giving someone who is wracked with guilt, stressed out and worried about losing their job shit.
Whatever.
I came on asking for advice and am grateful for the advice I've been given.
Those slating me are free to do so.
I knew there would be a section of people having a go.
Been on Mumsnet for years, there are always people without comprehension of how difficult things could be for someone else who post on threads like this with no advice and simply state that OP is out of order.
Thank you for the support

I'm really sorry you are getting so much grief here, @BowtieBling. I can completely understand the difficulty you found yourself in and why you initially caved in. Good for you for pushing back today and that is a good idea to put it in writing. I hope there aren't any negative repercussions for you.

I think many people on here don't realise that not everyone works in an organisation with a healthy culture. "Complain to HR" always makes me laugh - like hundreds of thousands of people, I work in a small, privately run company where the boss calls the shots. There is no HR or any other form of recourse. Fortunately I have a great boss, but there are some awful bosses out there who I am sure wouldn't hesitate to bully someone out of their job and the law offers no protection in practice. And with the job market what it is right now, their employees are probably even more wary about "making trouble". I'm sure the OP isn't alone in being placed in this awful situation.

Op if you have been on here a while you will have expected some level of backlash. Covid kills people, so it is not exactly to be unexpected that people will feel horrified that you have put others at risk.

However, I do understand your position, and of course there are bosses out there that are indifferent to the virus and only care for their business - even their position is understandable to some degree, but you need to make a stand. You are being bullied into breaking the law, and you ARE putting others at risk.

If you really can't face standing up to him, I suggest you lie and say you are feeling ill, that way you can protect others without the confrontation.