To think if you can't control your sphincter

[Brokenchair1]

You shouldn't go to a yoga class!

Fair enough that the odd trump occasionally pops out (never happened to me but can see that it might) but to fart on and off throughout the class at every change of position I think is fairly grim.

Bearing in mind we are trying to avoid peoples oral fumes, I don't want to spend 50 minutes breathing in their anal ones!

Before I get attacked by people mentioning physical problems that may cause gas, I have suffered from IBS in the past and would not attend a yoga class if I knew I was having a particularly bad day.

YABU - Everyone can enjoy yoga, even if they are tooting throughout the class.
YANBU - that is grim.

I don’t mute people when I’m teaching yoga online so they can speak to me if they have a question, etc. They can choose to mute themselves if it suits them. I only teach a few people though at a time though - I can understand why people would mute if it was a huge class.

I go on a lot of yoga retreats. For some reason the food at these is always vegetarian. I can reassure the OP that after a couple of days everyone in the class is farting! Perhaps that’s why so many retreats take place in countries warm enough for the classes to take place out of doors.

I have never seen a thread derailed so fast

OP, YANBU. I'm gluten intolerant and sometimes I can be tooting the whole day if I've succumbed to gluten.

Whilst tolerant of my own perfumed puffs, I can't bear anyone else's and I would not have been able to last through 50 minutes.

Ironically, yoga is great for my gut health too.

Sorry OP, I think you're being very fucking unreasonable. Perhaps you should look for a 'fart-free' yoga class advertised as being strictly for the fortunate few who aren't cursed with unpredictable IBS, colitis or other complaints, and who NEVER fart. I'm sure yours smell like strawberries, anyway.

Jeez, if I seriously worried about this (farting when in public) I'd never bloody go out.

YABU think yourself lucky you have spectacular sphincter control. It could weaken at some point in the future and then you'll be the one 'tooting' in yoga.

If I went to a yoga class full of people farting, I wouldn't be able to do any yoga for laughing.

meet up before & stand around of peppermint tea for everybody!

Also I do a quick lunchtime class between work and later parenting duties, not sure I would have time to work an enema into my schedule

This has to be my favourite mumsnet line ever.

In fact I'm surprised the OP thinks the woman in her class should go to the loo at all, seeing as so many people on here won't even use a public loo at all and apparently hold everything in for ten hours a day

Yes, it sounds like the OP falls into the 'you should control your bowels by clockwork or never leave the house' camp and as for the person who gives herself enemas in order to time her poos, words fail me.

It's better than a prolonged coughing or sneezing fit
That really upsets people
Makes farthing look quite harmless

This happened to me when my exercise classes were in venue (they're online at the moment still). There was one particular lady that I think has IBS and she would ensure she went right at the front of class so everyone had the 'pleasure' of attending class with her. I did feel sorry for her, but part of me also thinks, if you know its going to be that bad (it happened EVERY week without fail), to go towards the back where it won't affect as many people?
I'm pleased all my classes are at home at the moment and I only have my trumps to contend with, they're bad enough at the moment! Hahaha

I also have IBS and gluten intolerance so I don’t eat before yoga class.

I would move my mat after fart no. 2 from my neighbour, because I don’t tolerate the smell of other people’s farts (yes, delicate flower, so sue me).

If someone’s brass neck enough to fart through yoga class they’re thick skinned enough to have others move away imo.

@Anordinarymum

Oh Bless you :)

Is there any way you can go to the toilet first before you attend the class so you don't have stools sitting there in your lower bowel ?

I have a neat little trick which I have used for years which works. I give myself a quick enema using a long nosed bottle and soapy water and it makes me 'go'. I do this if I am going out to do something which may compromise me as in a yoga class or similar.

You've just reinforced my belief that no one would understand if I tried yoga, despite it being something I could try. I have a colostomy and severe pelvic radiation damage following cancer treatment. Have a bit of compassion and I won't inflict myself on anyone! Deal?

I have done yoga for a long time. 20 years + Farting is not a common occurrence, a few times I have whiffed one, but I've never been in a class with someone merrily tooting away.
Worst I have ever encountered was a very hairy bloke in skimpy shorts, cat cowing and downward dogging in front of me. Boak.

I Suffered a 3rd degree tear after childbirth that was treat as a 2nd degree tear.. meant my sphincter was not stitched and I suffer terribly.. is this something I wanted ABSOLUTELY NOT!!
If I knew who you was would I attend and take the position right in front of you ABSOLUTELY!!!

@Anordinarymum

Oh Bless you :)

Is there any way you can go to the toilet first before you attend the class so you don't have stools sitting there in your lower bowel ?

I have a neat little trick which I have used for years which works. I give myself a quick enema using a long nosed bottle and soapy water and it makes me 'go'. I do this if I am going out to do something which may compromise me as in a yoga class or similar.

Perhaps this needs to be taken to the mass market. Have you considered Dragons Den ?

Perhaps the zoom classes should have voting enabled at the beginning of the class - mute or toot?
I dont do yoga classes because I am so uncoordinated. I'm sure I would just start laughing if anyone farted...
Btw how have we got to page 3 and no ones asked if they snapped and farted...? 😂😂😂

this thread has made my day. went to my mum's yoga group once and it was like the William Tell chorus once they got going. The instructor had the relaxing music turned up full blast

@Heptember

I take my blessed bottle on holiday too so I never get the Spanish tummy my friends all seem to get from time to time

With friends like that, who needs enemas?

@Thecobwebsarewinning

I go on a lot of yoga retreats. For some reason the food at these is always vegetarian. I can reassure the OP that after a couple of days everyone in the class is farting! Perhaps that’s why so many retreats take place in countries warm enough for the classes to take place out of doors.

Not just vegetarian, but very often ultra-hippy raw vegan stuff, or if it's cooked then it's full of lentils, and then there's smoothies. Anyone who expects people not to fart after that is an idiot.

Perhaps this needs to be taken to the mass market. Have you considered Dragons Den ?

I suffered a birth injury and whisky it’s been repaired by surgery there are certain positions in yoga that I cannot do as they give me the fanny farts. It’s so embarrassing and I’m super conscious of it enough to stop going to yoga. OP there might be women in your class with similar issues and possibly bowel related trauma. Should they just stop going to yoga?

takes hat off to Anordinarymum

TBH that's one of the things that puts me off yoga classes, although i love the actual yoga. Not comfortable with being exposed to strangers' farts. Or the performative sighing and breathing some people insist on doing. I'm obviously much too anal :)