Am I being a snob?

[thesnob20]

Because I find my friends really embarrassing? I think I probably am.

They are nice people and I do enjoy their company but I just find them really embarrassing in public. We are 29 and when we were teenagers they would do quite yobbish things like throw eggs at people's cars / houses and tbh I assumed they'd grow out of it

But even now days if we go out or are around others they are very loud and swear or chant a lot and talk about crude things like 'he's fucking cunt' so loudly I just cringe. Or belch really loudly at dinner.

I find it sooooo embarrassing and then feel like a snob for feeling that way. I just wish we were more similar I guess.

Am I a snob? I'm prepared for brutal answers here!

They sound like a bunch of immature dickheads.

I would be embarassed too OP. If that makes me a snob, so be it🤷🏻‍♀️

No, they sound grim. Why are you friends?

Eugh no it just sounds like you’ve grown up whilst they haven’t.

Probably you are but like any thing about friends you may not feel you connect with them anymore so you may not do as much, I think judging them is wrong but you don't have to stay with them.

I could not imagine finding much in common with people who act this way but no way would I judge them for it I just would find other friends who I have more in common with

That's horrible, find new friends. Most people have shed a few groups from their teens by the time they're 29.

Are they your only friends?

@MiddleClassProblem I have friends from university that I see a few times a year and the odd work friends but in terms of people I live close to and see a lot, yes.

No, you're not a snob. They sound incompatible with you. Friends in life come and go.

That's not being a snob. I'd be embarrassed too.

Why are you friends with these people? It's not snobbish to be embarrassed by adults acting like children.

Is it hard to see your other friends?

I don’t really live close to any friends but I live in a London suburb so it’s still easy to get to see people or meet in the middle.

I think you should drop back from these friends. Maybe see any that you do like one on one but fizzle out the group situation. Try to up seeing other people that you do enjoy the company of.

No, you have manners. Sounds awful, dump them

Finding that kind of behaviour uncomfortable and unacceptable to be around at 29 isn’t called being a snob, it’s called being a grown up.

I feel embarrassed if I see that sort of behaviour from any adult and I couldn’t be friends with anyone who found it acceptable.

They sound like arseholes.
Bin them off

I think you've just outgrown them. I felt the same way about the friends I made at uni. One on one they were fine, but in a group it was unbearable.

If we went out for a meal it became almost a competition of who could say the most dirty, outrageous things. Being extremely loud to attract the attention of the people around us.

I started to distance myself and decline evenings out because of it.

You aren't a snob at all, they sound absolutely grim and folk in the vicinity hearing them carrying on like that will judge you along with them.

No - drop asap.

No, you're not a snob, you just have decent standards/manners. Nothing snobby about being embarrassed by disgusting behaviour!

You’ve obviously grown out of them. They may see you as a snob but that is their immaturity

No you sound like an adult. They sound like a bunch of dicks.

@ThomasHardyPerennial

They sound like a bunch of immature dickheads.

This. I don't think it's snobbish to dislike this. I'd find some new friends.

Before you drop them, it might be worth having a frank conversation about how you feel and how you think it's time everyone grew up. It might make them think, and if you are dropping them anyway, it might be worth it.

You have just grown up and they haven’t. I couldn’t socialise with people like that. It doesn’t make you a snob, it makes you a grown up with manners.