Am I being a snob?

[thesnob20]

Because I find my friends really embarrassing? I think I probably am.

They are nice people and I do enjoy their company but I just find them really embarrassing in public. We are 29 and when we were teenagers they would do quite yobbish things like throw eggs at people's cars / houses and tbh I assumed they'd grow out of it

But even now days if we go out or are around others they are very loud and swear or chant a lot and talk about crude things like 'he's fucking cunt' so loudly I just cringe. Or belch really loudly at dinner.

I find it sooooo embarrassing and then feel like a snob for feeling that way. I just wish we were more similar I guess.

Am I a snob? I'm prepared for brutal answers here!

No you're not a snob, they just never grew up.

Are you from a more middle class background to them?

Definitely drop them.

Sound a total embarrassment ☹

Christ I didn’t hang out with anyone who acted like that, even when I was a teenager!

You’re not a snob, you have basic standards.

It sounds like you have grown up. They haven't. I'd be embarrassed to be out with them. Hopefully you have grown up friends to spend time with.

You have matured. They haven't. Leave 'em behind. It's not snobbery - it's growing up.

Christ I didn’t hang out with anyone who acted like that, even when I was a teenager!
Neither did I.

You’re definitely not a snob. They sound like yobs.

You need new friends. You’ve been putting up with their infantile behaviour long enough.

I think most people have at least one socially unacceptable friend from 'the old days', if not a whole gang of them.

I wouldn't dump them - weird long-term (loyal?) friends from childhood can actually be a nice thing to hold on to as you age through life. But I would see them less and work on making some new friends that are more to your taste. You could also be frank when they engage in some of the most off-putting behaviour eg being vulgar loudly in public.

No, you're not a snob, you just have decent standards/manners

The drugs thread going on right now makes me wonder what decent standards even are anymore as apparently most of MN wants to or has taken illegal drugs. These friends of OP may actually be the norm

How embarrassing! You absolutely aren't being snobbish here. I would be distancing myself and trying to get some new friends - not straightforward at the moment, I know!

Their behaviour is anti social and affects other people. It’s not snobby to object to obnoxious behaviour that upsets others in the venue.

Being snobby is if you didn’t want to go out with them because they hold their knife like a pencil or have a cup of tea after dinner or butter the whole roll and pick it up and take bites out of it. As these things are no one else’s business and don’t affect anyone else and have no impact beyond being beyond ‘posh etiquette’.

They sound dreadful. Like yobs. Throw eggs at cars and houses? What a stupid thing to do. pity their unfortunate neighbours.

Find better, more intelligent friends.

@Rosehip10

Are you from a more middle class background to them?

I know not one single working class adult amongst friends or family who would dream of belching loudly at dinner or using language like ‘fucking cunt’ in public. Or at all.

I don't think it's accurate to say you've grown up, they haven't. I wouldn't have been friends with them as a teen & you didn't join in their behaviour when you were a teen. Not all teens act like this.

If that's being a snob then I'll stand up and be counted as one myself.

Being a snob is when you look down on people because they have hand me down clothes, live in a small house, have an old banger for a car, stuff like that.

Are they male or female, I wouldn't expect this behaviour from females. They sound very common

What do you do when this is going on, are they calling you a snob for not joining in ?
Can you not meet some of the nicer group members alone and quit meeting them as a group, there’ll probably be others in the group that feel like you do.

Not snobby at all. Just grown up and matured.

I've been called a snob by my sister becasue I find her group of friends (all in their 30s with children) to be like perpetual teenagers. I find the idea of going out/to house parties every weekend with the sole purpose of getting so black out drunk you need carrying home to be pathetic. Don't get me wrong I like a drink and have on occasion drunk to excess, but the idea of doing it on purpose, doing shots and playing drinking games every weekend is something I left in my early 20s. If that makes me a snob then so be it.
The group are also often the loudest and most crude when out altogether too.

Ever heard the phrase "show me your friends, and I will show you who you are"?

Sounds nasty but can you not reduce contact/ get better friends that will drag you up, rather than dragging you down?

You aren't necessarily snobbish. It sounds like you have grown up but they haven't and so are on a different wavelength. If they make you feel uncomfortable then I guess there'll be a parting of the ways. What's the point of going out with them and cringing at their behaviour?

Maybe you are. But the thing is, you don't enjoy their company. You are allowed no to enjoy people's company. You don't have to be friends with or spend time with anyone. It's OK not to like people!

It's seems that your friends are lacking basic manners to be honest.

For me being a ‘snob’ would be saying you’re embarrassed of your friends because they work in low income jobs or live on a council estate. Your friends are being rude and childish, and I think it’s normal to be embarrassed by that.

You aren’t a snob- you have very ordinary expectations of how people should behave in public. I don’t want to hear other people belch or swear when I’m out, and I suspect that’s pretty standard!