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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think drink driving does not mean lose your license?

453 replies

berks · 27/09/2020 12:44

Regular poster but name changed.

DH was arrested for drunk driving last night after crashing his car. He blew 104 on the breathalyser then tested 57 at the police station several hours later. He broke his wrist so had to go to hospital before the station.

He's the sole earner in our family- I haven't worked since 2014 since I had our first child- we have 3 DCs (age 6, 3 and 1). If he loses his license he won't be able to get to work which is 15 miles away and not near public transport.

He seems to think that because of this he may be allowed to keep his license. I am desperately clinging to this.

I know what he did is wrong, I know what could have happened so please don't lecture me- he's in more trouble at home I assure you.

I haven't stopped crying all morning. He's such an idiot.

OP posts:
ThatDamnScientist · 27/09/2020 12:58

He should, I'm sorry but he really should. If he thinks it is ok to get behind a wheel after drinking then his judgement is seriously flawed and he is not safe to be on the road.

OneofPansPeople · 27/09/2020 12:59

I thinking moving closer to work is perhaps a bit of a stretch Hmm but getting a bicycle is a sensible option hopefully?

dontdisturbmenow · 27/09/2020 12:59

If he loses his license he won't be able to get to work which is 15 miles away and not near public transport
Really? Of course he will be able to get to work, it just won't be with the convenience of driving there himself. That's too bad isn't it!

OneofPansPeople · 27/09/2020 12:59

OP isn't the bad guy here folks, can we remember that.

Literaryseed · 27/09/2020 12:59

I work in criminal law and confirm what others have said - it's a mandatory ban, no exceptions.

DownThePlath · 27/09/2020 13:00

My mum's brother lost his licence for three years for drink driving (and also crashing). He was exceedingly over the limit.

Your DH will lose his licence. And he deserves to.

EatDessertFirst · 27/09/2020 13:00

Hopefully he'll lose more than just his license. Like his wife and family unit. I couldn't be with anyone who did this, let alone even consider being their work taxi and he definately wouldn't be driving me or my children anywhere ever again if he could drive.

He could have killed someone due to his own decision to drink and drive. Staying with him and simply weeping over his stupidity is effectively letting him get away with it.

oblada · 27/09/2020 13:00

The test for hardship to keep your licence is extremely high. Just being the sole/main earner and needing the car to commute is unlikely to cut it unfortunately.

OneFiveFour · 27/09/2020 13:00

@OneofPansPeople

OP isn't the bad guy here folks, can we remember that.
Exactly.
Waveysnail · 27/09/2020 13:00

Start looking at options to get him to work. You drive him and collect him.
He bikes part the way then gets bus/train etc

NC4Now · 27/09/2020 13:00

He broke his wrist, so presumably there was a significant accident.

He’s going to get banned, and rightly so. It puts you in a terrible a position though, and you need to decide what to do about that.

whirlwindwallaby · 27/09/2020 13:00

That reading is not accidentally just over the limit (like I could potentially be after just one pint!). He knowingly drink drove and could have killed someone.

musicalfrog · 27/09/2020 13:01

Everyone who drives needs to drive otherwise why would they? Your family is not 'special'.

There is a reason the penalty is so harsh OP. Think about it.

Can you forgive him?

Original poster
berks · 27/09/2020 13:01

Thanks for replies. I do drive but it will be very difficult as I have two children to drop different places - 1 at school and 1 at pre-school (although as I don't work she doesn't have to attend) and he's a shift worker so would involve getting kids out of bed etc. He may be able to car share with a colleague.

He can drive (my car- his is written off) until it goes to court so has a few weeks to make arrangements. Thank you for responding and I'm so sorry for this of you who have suffered through drunk driving, I understand that this is all his fault.

OP posts:
caughtalightsneeze · 27/09/2020 13:01

I realise this sucks and you and your children have done nothing wrong. But your husband can't be exempt from punishment just because it makes it hard to get to work. It's up to him to find a solution.

TwixTwixtwoo · 27/09/2020 13:01

Whatever the consequence it will be a million times better than the impact him killing someone would have had, him losing his license kind of pales into insignificance compared to that. He's had a lucky escape by being caught before something awful happened, I just hope it teaches him never to do it again.

beela · 27/09/2020 13:02

15 miles isn't a ridiculous distance to cycle.

Budbudbud · 27/09/2020 13:02

Do you drive? This is many moons ago but my dad lost his licence through drink driving when I was about 6 weeks old and my brother was 3, he worked shifts in a factory and my mum just had to ferry him to and from work, not ideal when he had to start work at 6am or finish at 11pm but better than losing his job. He did eventually manage to get into a lift share scheme so maybe that would be an option too?

Thesearmsofmine · 27/09/2020 13:03

I hope he does lose his license.

BooFuckingHoo2 · 27/09/2020 13:03

I find it mind blowing how many people think they are above the law! It’s really not difficult to not drink and drive.

For example last night I really fancied a chippy (it was dark and I don’t feel safe walking alone at night) but I’d had one double G&T, so guess what? I went without because despite i being “only up the road” and me having “only had one drink” I’m not a dick head and I’m not willing to take the risk.

There’s no excuse for it ever. I’m sorry you’ve married such a selfish shit.

Artesia · 27/09/2020 13:04

He can drive (my car- his is written off) until it goes to court so has a few weeks to make arrangements

How can he drive with a broken wrist?

NerrSnerr · 27/09/2020 13:04

I would seriously be considering my marriage. He knows he need his licence to work and still didn't give enough of a shit about it not to drink drive. He could have killed someone or himself because of his stupid actions. It looks like he crashed too. I hope they throw the book at him.

Doingitaloneandproud · 27/09/2020 13:05

My ex got caught for drink driving and it was a mandatory ban, as it always is and rightly should be. I'm sorry he's made things tough for your family but he could have destroyed someone else's. No excuse for drink driving

Sunshinegirl82 · 27/09/2020 13:06

I was also going to say that 15 miles is reasonably ok to cycle. He probably needs to start getting fit enough for that to be his main mode of transportation for a while.

I wouldn't be driving him and making life difficult for the DC so that he could avoid a 30-40 minute cycle twice a day. Car share when he can, cycle when he can't.

ExclamationPerfume · 27/09/2020 13:06

He will lose his licence and rightly so. What a selfish pig.

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