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Original poster

To think drink driving does not mean lose your license?

453 replies

berks · 27/09/2020 12:44

Regular poster but name changed.

DH was arrested for drunk driving last night after crashing his car. He blew 104 on the breathalyser then tested 57 at the police station several hours later. He broke his wrist so had to go to hospital before the station.

He's the sole earner in our family- I haven't worked since 2014 since I had our first child- we have 3 DCs (age 6, 3 and 1). If he loses his license he won't be able to get to work which is 15 miles away and not near public transport.

He seems to think that because of this he may be allowed to keep his license. I am desperately clinging to this.

I know what he did is wrong, I know what could have happened so please don't lecture me- he's in more trouble at home I assure you.

I haven't stopped crying all morning. He's such an idiot.

OP posts:
Justaboy · 27/09/2020 17:46

(Are you not automatically banned once charged? I don't know.

No you have to go to court or appear before the magistrates for conviction befopre you are banned they will tell him not to drive there!

Unless he's got someone else to drive him home!.

An Oik i know recently lost his licenence and a 500 quid fine was just over twice the limit and damaged a cyclist. got 18 months but reduced to one year if he goes on a drink drive awareness course..

It took Almost three months before it got to court!!

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 27/09/2020 17:46

I hope you’ve packed his bags. DH would be out the door if he ever got into a car drunk.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 27/09/2020 17:49

He was 3 times the limit OP. His chances of keeping his licence are slim to none, as it should be. Anyone with half a brain does not get in a car with alcohol in their system if their job relies on them being able to drive. Personally I will feel that bit safer with him off the road.

CandyLeBonBon · 27/09/2020 17:55

Sorry OP. Can't see him keeping his licence

ChelseeDagger · 27/09/2020 17:58

Honestly I say this without any hit of irony but I just find it such a terrible indictement of modern womanhood that so many of us feel so shit about ourselves that we will seemingly take any opportunity to feel a fleeting sense of moral superiority.

Even if that means kicking the metaphorical shit out of a complete and total stranger who is not guilty of any crime, either lawful or moral.

ProfessorSlocombe · 27/09/2020 17:58

The thing is about defence of necessity/extenuating circumstances etc allowing someone to keep their licence, is that is should be vanishingly rare

It is. Very few lawyers and barristers would even entertain it as a defence unless it could be backed up with a rigorous proof. That's because it's a defence. Not a mitigation. If it's accepted you walk out unconvicted. (hence my scepticism upthread ...)

- it shouldn't even exist, IMO

It's a common law defence and intended for a very rare situation where the defendant is claiming it was necessary to break the law to avoid immediate harm or danger to themselves or others. And that is an incredibly high bar. It's intended to cover situations where a person might have to kick a door down (which is intentional and therefore criminal damage) but it was to rescue someone from a fire. For example.

I really can't think of anytime it's been successfully used as a defence to drink driving. Or indeed been put forward as a defence.

airbags · 27/09/2020 17:59

Extenuating circumstances!!?? So you want the court to be lenient and considerate.... shame he didn't consider his obligation to his wife and 3 small kids, or the individuals he could have maimed or killed.
Throw the book at him - he deserves it, might even stop him from doing it again.
Guess it time to buy a bike or a bus pass or ask you to run him around.
Deserves everything he gets - 3 times over the limit - idiot.

Original poster
berks · 27/09/2020 18:00

I won't have the thread deleted but I am stepping away now as some of the responses are cutting. I'm not ending my marriage, I signed up for better for worse.

DH is due in court in late November.

Thank you, in the most part, for your responses.

OP posts:
Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd · 27/09/2020 18:05

Neither one of you is taking this seriously if you think it's actually in any way acceptable for him to drive your car with a broken wrist whilst he's waiting for a court date.

user12345796 · 27/09/2020 18:07

A drink driver may care about his own kids but he sure as hell doesn't care about anyone else's.

Bbang · 27/09/2020 18:08

Bbang
You’re minimising and he sounds completely unrepentant, I’m for once genuinely lost for words.

Disgusting.

Clearly not.

Oh aye pedantic Polly because that’s what’s important here isn’t it, soz I thought it was that idiotic reckless man driving three times over the limit when he could’ve just walked or gotten a taxi like every other responsible person that chooses to drink. I hope they chuck the book at him and she opens her eyes to the seriousness of what’s happening instead of minimising it and burying her head in the sand.

Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd · 27/09/2020 18:09

The law is an ass if it allows this person to be loose out on the road for another two fucking months driving round with a broken wrist. Wonder what your insurance company will think, not that you're going to tell them about his latest charge.

I hope he doesn't kill or injure someone in the meantime, he's so selfish and entitled he doesn't seem to give a shit about what he did.

What a lovely pair!

ShebaShimmyShake · 27/09/2020 18:12

@Justaboy

(Are you not automatically banned once charged? I don't know.

No you have to go to court or appear before the magistrates for conviction befopre you are banned they will tell him not to drive there!

Unless he's got someone else to drive him home!.

An Oik i know recently lost his licenence and a 500 quid fine was just over twice the limit and damaged a cyclist. got 18 months but reduced to one year if he goes on a drink drive awareness course..

It took Almost three months before it got to court!!

So he's allowed to keep driving around freely until late November when he appears in court?
CherryPavlova · 27/09/2020 18:16

Drink driving is abhorrent. That said, it’s not your fault unless you’ve knowingly allowed him to drive when over the limit. He is entirely responsible for his actions.
It’s not reasonable to say leave him. You did marry for good times and bad.
The idea of using the pre-trial time to increase fitness levels and start cycling longer distances at increased speed is probably the most sensible. Many people cycle fifteen miles each way every day. It’s not an unreasonable method of transport for a relatively young man.

BrummyMum1 · 27/09/2020 18:26

OP the husband you’re choosing to stay with is a criminal. What were you expecting by posting here?

2bazookas · 27/09/2020 18:32

He's going to lose his license.

If you can drive, twice a day you will have to get all the kids in the car and drive him to and from work every day .

If you can't drive he will have to get a bike and cycle 30 miles a day.

Losing his license is only the start of his problems; if, or when

Lemonlady22 · 27/09/2020 18:36

With this attitude he probably wouldn't abide by a ban....he will continue to drive with no licence and no insurance imo

Talia99 · 27/09/2020 18:46

@ProfessorSlocombe when I was doing criminal law at university the theoretical example used for the necessity defence with drink driving was when you are on the Yorkshire Moors without a phone and someone you are with cuts their hand off with an axe. You are then allowed to drive them to the nearest source of help but not all the way to the hospital (as once you get to somewhere with phone boxes or houses to ask to use their telephone, it is no longer necessary to drive.)

As you say, I can’t imagine it working in real life.

Today, I assume you would substitute ‘no mobile phone reception’ for no phone and ‘reception’ for phone box.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 27/09/2020 18:48

@Stinkyguineapig

I have no sympathy for drink driving but so many people just asually throwing out the suggestion of a bike for a "few minutes" or 30-40 min. I know it's completely his own fault but by default OP will become involved in solutions to his problem of not being able to drive. A 15 mile drive might be on a motorway for all we know ....and even on normal roads, allowing for traffic, traffic lights, hills, junctions, rain, snow etc I would think more like an hour each way on a bike unless he is Chris froome. My DH used to do a 6.5 mile commute in central London and that used to take him 30 min.
That's tough luck surely. He made the choice to drink drive - he suffers the consequences. Biking for a couple of hours each day won't kill him, and being a cyclist on busy roads might teach him the importance of road safety so he properly learns his lesson. Being a vulnerable road user tends to have that effect....

The OP should not fall into the trap of ferrying this man around after what he's done.

user12345796 · 27/09/2020 18:54

This man being able to drive (with his broken wrist) till late November has put me in mind of Dennis Nilsen saying he is innocent till proven guilty. For God's sake man have some respect for yourself and other people's loved ones and stay off the roads until you grow up.

Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd · 27/09/2020 18:58

@Lemonlady22

With this attitude he probably wouldn't abide by a ban....he will continue to drive with no licence and no insurance imo
I can't imagine his insurance is valid with that charge, not that he'll give a shit.
ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 27/09/2020 19:06

@berks

I have never seen him drink drive before. He went out last night and made a stupid decision to drive home- it would have been a 25 minute walk. As I said, this is all his fault.

His wrist isn't plastered just sore. Obviously he wouldn't drive if he's sick but he's not banned yet was my point.

You are massively naive if you think this is the first time has done this. Why did he drive for a night out that was going to involve alcohol in the first place? Normally, if people know they are going to drink, they walk or get a lift/taxi at the start of the night. Particular if the walk is only 25 mins - that's less than 2 miles!!

This may be the first time he got caught, but he's definitely risked your family's happiness and the lives of other road users by driving drunk before.

Jammysod · 27/09/2020 19:09

I've not read all 15 pages so this might have been mentioned...
Your insurance will not cover this if they exclude drink driving (some don't). They'll deal with whatever he has hit, but then have the option to recover those costs from your husband.

bettsbattenburg · 27/09/2020 19:12

He will lose his licence, yes. Sorry that he is such a dick and that you are going to have to deal with his stupidity.

Can you drive? If so you'll have to take him to work, obviously at a time convenient for you and not him - if it means he has to go in earlier/leave later then that's his tough luck.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 27/09/2020 19:14

@bettsbattenburg

He will lose his licence, yes. Sorry that he is such a dick and that you are going to have to deal with his stupidity.

Can you drive? If so you'll have to take him to work, obviously at a time convenient for you and not him - if it means he has to go in earlier/leave later then that's his tough luck.

The OP will not "have to take him to work". The stupid dickhead can cycle.
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