To think drink driving does not mean lose your license?

[berks]

Regular poster but name changed.

DH was arrested for drunk driving last night after crashing his car. He blew 104 on the breathalyser then tested 57 at the police station several hours later. He broke his wrist so had to go to hospital before the station.

He's the sole earner in our family- I haven't worked since 2014 since I had our first child- we have 3 DCs (age 6, 3 and 1). If he loses his license he won't be able to get to work which is 15 miles away and not near public transport.

He seems to think that because of this he may be allowed to keep his license. I am desperately clinging to this.

I know what he did is wrong, I know what could have happened so please don't lecture me- he's in more trouble at home I assure you.

I haven't stopped crying all morning. He's such an idiot.

Lets be honest it is not the first time he has been shit faced in a car just the first time he has been caught.

He should be thanking his lucky stars he didn't kill anybody. Or hurt anyone other than himself.

The first stupid decision is before he had a drink, to have one when he had the car with him. At that point he was sober.

I got in a car with a drink driver when I was young, it was terrifying, in a country with no automatic ban. There really should be.

Whatever you do he should be the one researching his transport options. Not you fixing the problem he has created.

@FippertyGibbett genuine question to your comment that if he'd been killed OP would have had to find a job. In these circumstances would life insurance not pay out?

We had a drunk driver hit us who was 3.5 x the drink drive limit and police said they were potentially looking at a custodial sentence due to being so over the limit.

I think losing his licence could be the least of his worries but yes he will lose it.

She didn’t go to prison. She lost her licence for either 18 months, possibly 2 years.....can’t remember but it was more than a year. Community service and a fine.

Can you drive him to work?

You are minimising what he has done. He shouldn't be behind a wheel again. I'd be packing his bags if it was me.

@berks

I have never seen him drink drive before. He went out last night and made a stupid decision to drive home- it would have been a 25 minute walk. As I said, this is all his fault.

His wrist isn't plastered just sore. Obviously he wouldn't drive if he's sick but he's not banned yet was my point.

So he hasn’t actually broken his wrist as said in opening post? Unbelievable that his main concern seems to be whether he may be able keep his licence or not. Does he really think that he deserves to keep his licence, given that he put not just his own life, but the lives of anyone else he came into contact with, at risk? He deserves everything that is coming to him, but sorry you and your children are going to suffer because of this.

Don’t know if anyone else has already said this, but another thing to consider is that his insurance on the car is likely to be invalid (My insurance clearly states that it will be void if any incident occurs when driver is under the influence of alcohol or drugs). Could make this accident considerably more expensive, if he receives nothing for the damages to his car, plus has to pay for damages to any other car, or property he hit in the accident! Just be grateful he didn’t hit another person.

To be honest, if my dh had done this, I would certainly be reevaluating our relationship to decide if I still wanted to be with him.

@StrawBeretMoose

He should be thanking his lucky stars he didn't kill anybody. Or hurt anyone other than himself.

The first stupid decision is before he had a drink, to have one when he had the car with him. At that point he was sober.

I got in a car with a drink driver when I was young, it was terrifying, in a country with no automatic ban. There really should be.

Whatever you do he should be the one researching his transport options. Not you fixing the problem he has created.

@FippertyGibbett genuine question to your comment that if he'd been killed OP would have had to find a job. In these circumstances would life insurance not pay out?

Depends if you have it or not.

The bike suggestion is a good one.

Small outlay for the bike and he gets an extra hour a day getting up early and peddling to work and back to think about what he's done.

@canigohomenow. Why will op be facing a fine. . Have I missed something

He’ll lose his licence almost certainly.

It’s been a long time since I worked in this field of law but certainly it used to be the case that if someone would lose their job and their family’s livelihood due to losing their licence that wouldn’t hold any sway. What might is if other innocent people would also lose their jobs and even then it’s unusual as someone could hire a driver.

It is totally shit for you as an innocent party but these draconian provisions are supposed to have a deterrent effect. People who need to drive for their work should be ultra cautious to protect their licence. You have been badly let down by your partner - not the law.

A 15 mile drive might be on a motorway for all we know

were lucky in most parts of the uk there are numerous roads criss crossing the country so they'll be usually an alternative route to take. cycle streets is great for getting cycling routes rather than driving routes from A to B

I have a commute on the motorway but can also commute to the same location using 85% of road route in the spring, summer and early autumn

op hope your doing ok, it must be a terrible shock for you and could be far worse with death or injury and a daddy facing a much more serious court case.

Your OP has been answered. I really feel so sorry for you. You must be in shock, with the rug pulled from under you. Thank God he didn't injure or kill anyone. My STBXH is an alcoholic. We split, and I have a huge aversion to being around drunk people (due to his behaviours) but, aside from that, cannot abide people who drink and drive.

Looking at the practicalities though (because me bitching about how much I hate drink drivers/drunks etc isn't helpful to you!)....I know there isn't a huge amount you can do currently (I'm not surprised you feel vulnerable!), however I'd be looking at the situation with him biking to work. Yes, it's 15miles, but if you guys can stretch to getting an ebike with a decent enough range (I have one - it's brilliant for me commuting and doing school run), then it's a do-able distance. Check out the route on google maps, and it might be a possible thing to do. Maybe talk to friends/family and see if anyone can help you guys out in the meantime as well. I'm just trying to think of things you can do now, to maybe make you feel less vulnerable about the situation (rather than a way of bailing him out). I always feel better when I have a plan of action.

I get that you can't just conjure up a job, and sort childcare in next to no time. I really hope that this is a one off incident and that he bloody wakes up and smells the coffee.

104! OMG! Is that not like 3 times over the limit in England? Even more in Scotland. Jesus wept! He must have been pissed! You can’t think someone that much over the limit could possibly deserve to keep their licence any circumstances

If he does lose his licence as seem.s inevitable you will both need to deal with it in a practical way if he is to get to work. Lift from colleague probably the best option. If not then child minder for children to take to school and you drive him.

So sorry you are going through this OP - it's not your fault but your question will annoy people!

Am guessing it was just the initial shock that prompted you to ask the question - you know it's completely reasonable for him to lose his license, he has to take the consequences

What has he said about:
The fact your insurance will be invalid and you won't be covered for the damage to his car?
How is he going to tell work and does he know whether or not they could sack him? (don't know his job, but some companies will not employ people with certain criminal convictions)
If he can work, what are his ideas for transport?
How he will pay a massive fine, if that happens?
What you will do if he ends up with a custodial sentence or community service order?
How is he going to tell your family and friends?

Do you honestly still want to be with him; can you ever trust him again?

It's a really crappy situation for you and he is so unbelievably lucky the outcome wasn't worse

@mumof2exhausted

Cannot believe this post. Of course he will be disqualified at the very least. My gran was killed by a drunk driver. It’s disgusting that people think it’s ok for them to drink and drive

That’s so sad, I’m so sorry!

The only person to blame here is your 'D'H.

I do not think your family situation justifies letting someone back on the road when they have proven themselves to be a dangerous drink driver.

This isn't "morning after" slightly above the limit. This is someone who got rat-arsed then smashed their car into something.

I think he may getting mixed up with the number of points on his licence.

I’ve heard in situations when someone had say 12 points on their license, they get caught speeding again but instead of getting banned they are allowed to keep their licence if their job etc depends on it.

The difference is, driving 2/3 miles over the limit, isn’t in the same category as drink driving. You could speed for a few seconds then get caught but drink driving is so much worse as you’re not in control of the car at all.

Very very unlikely he’ll get to keep his license. I feel sorry for you and his children but he should have thought of that before putting other people in danger.

Well, it should.
As should using a mobile phone while driving.

OP, I hope you are ok.
Ultimately nobody was harmed except for your husband.
I hope this serves as the wake up call he needs. If he is otherwise a good person then take no notice of the "I'd be packing his bags" brigade.
We all have our chapters which we don't read out loud.

Hugs for you

If he couldn't be arsed to consider the impact on his job and family, why should a court ?!

[quote Awwlookatmybabyspider]@canigohomenow. Why will op be facing a fine. . Have I missed something[/quote]
You've certainly had more sleep than I have haha! Good spot.

*he'll be facing a fine.

Based on what he blew, he's probably looking at community service (assuming this is a first offence), and not just a fine/ban:

www.drinkdriving.org/drink_driving_sentencing_guidelines.php#excess_alcohol

Not really compatible with paid employment. Hey ho.

^I hope this serves as the wake up call he needs. If he is otherwise a good person then take no notice of the "I'd be packing his bags" brigade.
We all have our chapters which we don't read out loud.^

Take no notice of the posters seeking to minimise your DP's serious crime, OP.

I’m sorry for you OP, for what he has and will be putting you through. I’m not going to add my personal thoughts about drink driving because it’s the same as everyone who has already commented on the post.

Unless there are other relationship concerns it wouldn’t be in my thoughts to question my relationship although I would make it abundantly clear that he has been a massive, massive dick. Don’t change your life to deal with this, make HIM sort himself out with regards to getting to work, however that may be.

I do think there should be zero tolerance for drink driving, it seems mad that there isn’t. There may be needs to be a small, very small limit to account for medications etc but no one needs to drink and drive. One person could have a pint and be absolutely fine to drive but a lot of people wouldn’t and some would be trashed. It’s crazy that the law doesn’t allow for this, or doesn’t seem to.

You’re minimising and he sounds completely unrepentant, I’m for once genuinely lost for words.

Disgusting.