A&E is much calmer and a better place now that patients can’t have visitors with them

[Sharpandshineyteeth]

I do understand some people really do need a family member. I’m pretty sure the staff wouldn’t turn away an essential family member.

But generally, it’s a much better place without tons of family members and friends all sitting with patients. Taking up seats and Sometimes kicking up an unnecessary fuss.

Surely it’s better for infection control in general.

I’m sitting here right now waiting to be seen and for a Saturday night it’s so calm. The staff seem calmer and the patients seem calmer as well.

I say keep this rule!!

Graphista when I asked for my GP notes they provided them - they seemed to be intact. I've also asked for my mental health notes, they were fine except for a couple of redacted names (who I could easily identify).

I dread dd being ill and admitted. She's 19yo so an adult but she'd be terrified if we weren't allowed in. She has a chronic condition and last time she was admitted we were allowed in even when it wasn't visiting due to her age.... She was 17yo then but on an adult ward.

She went to an outpatient appointment by herself a few weeks ago and the consultant has told her he thinks she has "brain disease" and referred her to neurology. She didn't feel she could ask for more details so we don't know what the brain dis might be. She's been crying ever since as she's convinced she's dying. If I'd been there I'd have asked questions.

I'm very sorry about your DH panoka and your other losses I agree with you about the rule being implemented with minor injuries and the staff being flexible in extreme circumstances.

So sorry but covid trumps everything just now it really is madness.

@Littered5 thanks I wasn't a nurse for very long but I was a nurse at the point when the rules were changing so in a position to observe the differences and then as I said experienced the differences as a patient due to overseas experience

@SparklyPussycat I'm glad you had that positive experience many patients don't. I certainly haven't I've met many obstacles in trying to obtain the most basic information and on several occasions what was provided was plain wrong! (And quite possibly info about another patient! So a breach of confidentiality too)

@JacobReesMogadishu genuinely interested - does her chronic condition affect her cognitively? Confidence etc? Because if not then to be honest I'd expect a 19 year old to be able to manage their own appointments in terms of asking pertinent questions like in your dds situation. My own daughter same age, has a disability, isn't great at confidence side of things but could manage this.

Is this an area you need to work on with her? I did with my dd from around age 16 in order to prepare her for dealing with her appointments herself as an adult, so if she's feeling anxious she goes in with a notepad and pen and a brief note of why she's there and prepared phrases/actions if she's struggling to understand what she's told etc she can also offer the gp the notepad to write down meds, instructions etc so she can check them out online later or with me (also because sometimes the typing on prescriptions is stupidly tiny and illegible!)

I do think it doesn't help that gp's rush appointments so much now.

Even as an ex hcp I've found myself bombarded with info with hardy a breath taken and had to ask them to repeat or clarify.

@JacobReesMogadishu

I dread dd being ill and admitted. She's 19yo so an adult but she'd be terrified if we weren't allowed in. She has a chronic condition and last time she was admitted we were allowed in even when it wasn't visiting due to her age.... She was 17yo then but on an adult ward.

She went to an outpatient appointment by herself a few weeks ago and the consultant has told her he thinks she has "brain disease" and referred her to neurology. She didn't feel she could ask for more details so we don't know what the brain dis might be. She's been crying ever since as she's convinced she's dying. If I'd been there I'd have asked questions.

This sounds difficult. Perhaps ask to speak to the nurse in charge from now on. I know even in Covid times visitors are allowed and a room will be found for extreme circumstances.

@Graphista

Yes, one of her main symptoms is brain fog and memory loss. She can struggle to think coherently at times and forgets words so can’t always put her thoughts into words. She has good days and bad days.

It was a rheumatologist appt and I did make sure she went in with a list of symptoms written down.

1 person per patient should be allowed. I had to go to A&E earlier in lockdown for a bad fracture. My partner took me in a taxi but was not allowed in with me. I could see him standing in reception while I sat alone waiting in A&E shaking and crying with the pain. I had no support from anyone for the time I was there and it would have made so much difference to have him with me. The memories of that day are awful as I felt so alone and uncared for.

One person is best in most circumstances, although I have been to A&E a couple of times with my elderly parents because the non-patient needed additional support - both times it was a long overnight stay for a septuagenarian and they needed additional advocacy. Just me going was out of the question because the other parent was critically ill and could have died then and there.

Midwife friend of mine said no visitors in the maternity ward has increased successful breastfeeding for the new mums which I think is wonderful so they are considering making it permanent which I would have loved when in with my first as there was so many noisy visitors. Too many people come along to the hospital a and e for the drama rather than needing to and it would be lovely if companions were limited especially parents with multiple children there. Theres no need!

@JacobReesMogadishu in that case I see no reason why an accompanying adult would be unreasonable for her.

Yes my dd has found those "workarounds" useful too. It's tricky isn't it? Because also sometimes they might not want mum there (embarrassment etc)

My dd has a very common sense good friend, who's a bit older and a mum herself, who sometimes goes with her to appointments if it's something she is uncomfortable/embarrassed about.

While we have a good, close and open relationship there are limits! I don't need to know the intimate details of her sex life for example!

When my DM had regular visits to A&E, she had heart failure, we never knew if it would be the end. Her 4 D.C. and 11 DGC would turn up.

Re the maternity comments, I completely get not having constant visitors and the benefits. However, I was on there for a week, my baby was being tube fed and in an incubator as she couldn’t maintain her temperature. All around me were big healthy babies going home everyday. I didn’t get to see my other two children for a week and couldn’t have any physical support from my partner apart from the rushed hour. Surely there should be some consideration of individual circumstances and just some basic empathy.
I ended up having physical panic attacks and was in tears a lot of the time. I’m sure others would have handled it better but my mental health felt at an all time low. There was a night when I was the only one on the bay and my husband was still kicked out on the hour (how him being there impacted anyone that night was beyond me). I’m pretty sure I now have PND and have been advised to seek treatment from my doctor but I can’t face it. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has been put in a position causing their mental health to deteriorate.

Prior to lockdown we went to urgent care with my son. Husband dropped us off as it's not the pace to leave a car. I shit you not family there with a child with a twisted ankle, four siblings in all and two parents eating McDonald's in the waiting room all coughing and laughing saying they were going to get some antibiotics. It's not a day out.

@DustyMaiden

When my DM had regular visits to A&E, she had heart failure, we never knew if it would be the end. Her 4 D.C. and 11 DGC would turn up.

Could the doctor or nurse informed you further about what stage of Heart failure? It’s really difficult reading some people’s stories as you can they are genuine and probably in a desperate need to bring their young children or babies with them. But what you have described isn’t really fair on everyone else. If we all did this the place would be overrun. Not to mention visitors that want to stay overnight... it causes problems the opposite sex in a bay and other patients complaining.

I've seen this before - huge extended families sat in a and e - I think there should be a limit. I was in children's a and e once and there was a child who had fallen and had something wrong with his foot and the parents, grandparents and siblings were all there! Absolutely no need.

I agree that there should be a limit. Due to an undiagnosed condition I was often in A and E on a few occasions. It annoyed me when I had to stand up due to countless useless relatives chatting/joking/eating etc. taking up the seats. It's not a day out and should not be treated as such.

I was in an Urgent Care Centre on sat after being taken in by ambulance after an accident on a train. I was in my manual wheelchair and had broken my elbow so unable to push myself around. Luckily they allowed my friend who I was out with to stay with me as no one in the hospital helped me so my friend had to push me everywhere and take my jumper off for the x-rays and put it back on for me (no easy feat with a broken elbow). There were about a dozen people in there, I had my friend as a carer, one guy was handcuffed so had 2 police officers with him and one woman had a translator with her. Several of the others were complaining that we were allowed people with us when they weren’t.

I agree a limit should be fixed. I was recently admitted with appendicitis. I’m also disabled. I would have quite cheerfully had my other half wait in the car until I needed him for assistance getting in to Assesment rooms etc and when I needed help communicating my needs, but besides that I was antisocial and wanted to be left well alone. Which I was, when I started throwing up! Before that people kept talking and I told them I was poorly and I didn’t want to talk but they don’t shut up- fair enough, they’re anxious, but someone visibly in pain isn’t the one to chat with!

One adult per patient for company, fine. More is taking the mick

I’ve said yanbu but I agree that a limit of one “extra” per attendee is a better solution.

And I agree re maternity appointments - maybe one person should be allowed if they sign something to say they will immediately give up their seat if there aren’t enough for the pregnant women, and will use a loo elsewhere in the hospital if they need to go - not the ones in the maternity dept.

I’m talking about appointments during pregnancy not the maternity ward btw

Maternity ward outside of COVID should be limits on numbers and absolutely no one after a certain time in the evening, but obviously not keep COVID rules up as mothers can need someone to advocate for them and make sure they’re ok.

@ListeningQuietly

serin I have no idea. They were there at admission. They were gone by the next morning. Hospital do not care.

They probably do care, but they should make it more clear to you that they do. The problem is that they think it's been stolen, then they will know they're almost certainly not getting it back.

As a PP has said, anything not nailed down has a good chance of 'going missing.'

I just don't get these hangers on that don't give up seats for pregnant women or ill people. We're they raised by wolves?

Midwife friend of mine said no visitors in the maternity ward has increased successful breastfeeding for the new mums which I think is wonderful so they are considering making it permanent which I would have loved when in with my first as there was so many noisy visitors.

I was in for two weeks with DS. Without the support of my husband and parents visiting my mental health would have been more wrecked than it already was (I had distressingly detailed flashbacks of the whole induction, labour and birth for a year afterwards) and felt completely unlistened to by staff who as far as I could tell took the view that I was alive and more or less in one piece physically and baby was fine so what's the problem?