Aibu to think some people can do empathy and some can't

[blagaaw99]

As title says. Aibu to think that some people are just unable to see things from another's viewpoint and empathise?

Nature or nurture?

I can be empathetic. Folk come to me in real life with a crisis and provide shoulders. Strangers used to do it too. I have one of those battered old faces I suppose.

I have less tolerance for drama llamas and lazy arses as I get older though. And the battered old face shows it without me having to open my mouth.

"People with autism feel empathy, and often much more strongly than neurologically typical people."

How do they test this?

Just how do you prove somones empathy?

Because I can think of questions and interviews but how could you compare an autistic person and a nt (or even two of either) person. If I was told I was taking a test about how "empathetic" I was id probbaly exaggerate a bit just to not potentially feel judged. Not all people would do that and not to the same degree, would an autistic person answering more "honestly" come out worse vs an equally empathic but more socially capable not person? Or would thier answers/responses be comparable or expressed differently?

Or is it like an mri test kind of thing?

Not being goady, just trying to think how you could compare something so complex and personal.

I have less tolerance for drama llamas and lazy arses as I get older though. And the battered old face shows it without me having to open my mouth

This sounds familiar. Somehow being empathetic is spun into an obligation to become an emotional ballast for others and it is exhausting. It's much easier to suggest you cannot care than do the emotional labour for every Tom, Dick and Harry. I've closed up shop for everyone other than those I care for the most.

At work I can be empathic, sympathetic and completely non judgemental. At home where I am more emotionally connected to the people who live with me, I try to be all of the above, but it can be a lot harder.

@Yogatomorrow

I think it is possible to develop someone's empathic skills. But they mostly need to be open to it.

I read an interesting book on narcissism, which is really the inverse of the empathy. It covered studies in which consumerism and status based on material possessions increased narcissism. I think that opening people up to the opposite would increase empathy.

Although some people will always be more empathic and less so, even taking into account what the culture they are in values.

Do you happen to know what this book was called

Thanks!