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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not allowed to go home at the weekend, not allowed to mix with students outside your bubble, not allowed to have parties, maybe not allowed for Xmas?

434 replies

chomalungma · 25/09/2020 08:10

I really feel sorry for students at Uni in Scotland.

Those students who are feeling isolated. Those who just want some fun and to experience student life.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-54285720

And break these rules and you could lose your university place

OP posts:
Belladonna12 · 26/09/2020 11:51

This is ridiculous scaremongering. Not all middle aged and older people are at risk from COVID- why on earth would all 40 year olds need to shield?

I wasn't suggesting that they do shield. It was a response to another poster suggesting that anyone who is vulnerable should shield and let everyone else get on with it. Everyone over 50 could be vulnerable and they can't all shield. Things wouldn't function if everyone over that age stop working .The shielding category only included those who were extremely vulnerable.

Mittens030869 · 26/09/2020 11:56

The middle aged are not all vulnerable, at least not in the sense that they're likely to die (the majority are not at all). But they are at risk of long Covid, which I can tell you is very debilitating. And it will damage the economy if a large number of middle aged people are not able to work and are on long-term sick.

It really isn't just about the number of deaths and hospital admissions; a lot of long Covid sufferers (like me) didn't end up in hospital and obviously didn't die.

alreadytaken · 26/09/2020 12:25

Students going off to university buy, or are bought, things they wouldnt need at home. They pay fees, without which the universities could not, for example, research vaccines, treatments, new ways to disinfect public space, anti-virus coatings for more effective masks. It's a decision based mainly on supporting the economy, knowing that the young are less at risk.

Unfortunately the young infect each other and then it spreads outside the university. So you have to restrict what students do to avoid too many people being infected at once. If too many people have large parties and too many become infected at the same time then you take draconian measures to slow the spread.

Belladonna12 · 26/09/2020 12:43

@alreadytaken

Students going off to university buy, or are bought, things they wouldnt need at home. They pay fees, without which the universities could not, for example, research vaccines, treatments, new ways to disinfect public space, anti-virus coatings for more effective masks. It's a decision based mainly on supporting the economy, knowing that the young are less at risk.

Unfortunately the young infect each other and then it spreads outside the university. So you have to restrict what students do to avoid too many people being infected at once. If too many people have large parties and too many become infected at the same time then you take draconian measures to slow the spread.

I agree. It would be damaging to both students and the economy if universities were shut down. Students are at low risk and whilst infections have to be kept under control (for their sakes as well as the wider community) the fact that there are infections is not a good reason to deny them an education or the chance to live away from home.
murakamilove · 26/09/2020 17:30

I am getting very fed up of stories about ‘poor students’.
80 years ago mothers put their 6 year old children on a train. They had no idea if they would ever see them again, where they were going or who they were staying with. These were the evacuees of WW2.
Shame on you for forgetting their massive sacrifice so we could live.
I will never forget, but so many clearly have.
Our students will survive.

Viciouslybashed · 26/09/2020 17:37

@murakamilove

I am getting very fed up of stories about ‘poor students’. 80 years ago mothers put their 6 year old children on a train. They had no idea if they would ever see them again, where they were going or who they were staying with. These were the evacuees of WW2. Shame on you for forgetting their massive sacrifice so we could live. I will never forget, but so many clearly have. Our students will survive.
No disrespect but what on earth are you on about.
IdkickJilliansass · 26/09/2020 17:51

Wtf 🤣🤣🤣

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 26/09/2020 18:13

@murakamilove
I think everyone understands that during times of war and crisis that people have put up with far worse.

It is, nonetheless, a mess. 1700 students locked down on the MMU campus in Manchester today. Young kids stuck in shit accommodation legally not allowed to go home. They will manage, but it's really not great and a modicum of foresight might have averted it.

SleepingStandingUp · 26/09/2020 18:16

[quote Ihatemyseleffordoingthis]@murakamilove
I think everyone understands that during times of war and crisis that people have put up with far worse.

It is, nonetheless, a mess. 1700 students locked down on the MMU campus in Manchester today. Young kids stuck in shit accommodation legally not allowed to go home. They will manage, but it's really not great and a modicum of foresight might have averted it.[/quote]
They aren't going kids, assistant Scottish kids can go to uni at 16 but I imagine the no of 16/17 yos there are tiny if they exist at all. The rest are adults.

feetfreckles · 26/09/2020 18:17

Bashed, in the Second World War children were sent out of the cities and farmed out to country families
Often split up from their siblings

I recollect many returned home, facing the bombs being less stressful

And then in Germany, Jewish families sent children away, desperate to save their lives, sure they would never see those children again, reliant on the generosity of strangers

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 26/09/2020 18:18

young adults
it's still shit, regardless
or are you saying you'd be totally fine with it?

CountessFrog · 26/09/2020 18:19

I feel so much for these young people and also for their parents.

lissie123 · 26/09/2020 18:25

My DD is having a miserable time. She’s at Swansea. They are due to go into local lockdown tomorrow night. She’s not well ( heavy cold sore throat, not Covid). She’s spent a lot of the last 24 hours crying down the phone because she’s poorly and going to be in lockdown with seven other students she has known for less than a week. Plus she witnessed a traumatic assault on someone earlier this week. I feel powerless. It’s her birthday next week too.

Aragog · 26/09/2020 18:28

Murak

And we have learnt better since then and know that isolating children from families is not generally the best idea and can chase severe mental health in children and their parents. Many children who went away during the war were traumatised and suffered long into adulthood as a result.

And no ones forgotten Hmm

Parents are actually allowed to care about their children, regardless of them being young adults, teenagers, or younger. I will care about my child's welfare when she is a grown up with her own family, in the same way my parents care how I'm feeling despite me being the parent of a young adult.

Belladonna12 · 26/09/2020 18:30

@lissie123

My DD is having a miserable time. She’s at Swansea. They are due to go into local lockdown tomorrow night. She’s not well ( heavy cold sore throat, not Covid). She’s spent a lot of the last 24 hours crying down the phone because she’s poorly and going to be in lockdown with seven other students she has known for less than a week. Plus she witnessed a traumatic assault on someone earlier this week. I feel powerless. It’s her birthday next week too.
I'm really sorry. Things will be better soon, I'm sure.Flowers
lissie123 · 26/09/2020 18:32

Thank you @Belladonna12

Hopoindown31 · 26/09/2020 18:35

@Aragog well said. WWII evacuee references are just ignorant whataboutery. Many evacuees were deeply traumatised by their evacuations and many were subject to abuse while evacuated. Why this should be held up as some kind of example why we shouldn'y be worried about young people now is beyond me.

Teenageromance · 26/09/2020 18:37

@lissie123 can you go and get her - I would.

Viciouslybashed · 26/09/2020 18:42

@lissie123 your poor daughter. Hope she feels better soon. Not the introduction to uni that they deserve.

As an aside did someone up thread explain evavuues to me. As I know what that's all about but didn't understand why that poster was talking about them in this circumstance.

Pliudev · 26/09/2020 18:45

This has probably been said but I can't read every comment. If my DC was 18 and going to uni this year I'd suggest they stayed home. I don't know if there's been pressure to stop them deferring in large numbers but really, what is the point? I read yesterday about a drama student (England not Scotland) who hasn't even met any of her fellow students and is receiving only online communications from her department. In my experience university is not always as great as it's made out to be and even in 'normal' times the support for students with depression and/or anxiety is inadequate. Another year at home to mature and be absolutely sure the course you have chosen is right for you would do no harm at all and may be very beneficial in the circumstances.
To find yourself at 18, away from home for the first time, isolated and not knowing when or if you will be able to see your family is a recipe for disaster.

Pliudev · 26/09/2020 18:47

Lockdown tomorrow? Get in your car and bring her home!

loulouljh · 26/09/2020 18:50

They are adults but only just...most have just left home for the first time, are probably homesick and the usual distractions of freshers etc are just not available for them. I really feel for them. Grim.

SleepingStandingUp · 26/09/2020 18:59

@Ihatemyseleffordoingthis

young adults it's still shit, regardless or are you saying you'd be totally fine with it?
No bit I don't think infantilising them helps. I think they should have been advised to study from home where possible or preferable. In think pastoral care needs to go through the roof. I think pastoral care needs to step in where is detrimental to a students mental health to be there. I don't think thousands of adults traveling across the United Kingdom every weekend is a viable option if we're trying to reduce cases.
Belladonna12 · 26/09/2020 18:59

@Pliudev

This has probably been said but I can't read every comment. If my DC was 18 and going to uni this year I'd suggest they stayed home. I don't know if there's been pressure to stop them deferring in large numbers but really, what is the point? I read yesterday about a drama student (England not Scotland) who hasn't even met any of her fellow students and is receiving only online communications from her department. In my experience university is not always as great as it's made out to be and even in 'normal' times the support for students with depression and/or anxiety is inadequate. Another year at home to mature and be absolutely sure the course you have chosen is right for you would do no harm at all and may be very beneficial in the circumstances. To find yourself at 18, away from home for the first time, isolated and not knowing when or if you will be able to see your family is a recipe for disaster.
But what would they do at home this year? There are no jobs and they can't go travelling. Many areas are in lockdown and they can't even go to a friends house. At least at University they are living with their peers, many of whom will become friends. It's a shame that this has kicked off soon after arrival but I don't think it was entirely predictable at all. If infections hadn't surged throughout the country in the last month this probably wouldn't have happened. I think that things will settle down for students and be much more normal soon. Considering the rate of infection in some halls there could even be herd immunity before long among students.
midgebabe · 26/09/2020 19:05

Ah, misunderstood the question, although I guess my observation that many children chose to risk bombs than live away says something

will admit , it scares me what those children are going through ( mines well established at uni )

There are usually support systems involving the older students, can't see that working this year as it relies on seeing how people are coping which won't work on zoom.

With proper testing and supported isolation, it should be possible to get to more normal teaching quite rapidly but they don't seem to have planned for that at all

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