AIBU to ask what ‘parenting rules’ you had before your kids?

[VeraPink]

This is intended to be lighthearted!

I’m pregnant with my first baby and musing over all of the Dos and Don’ts I have planned for when the baby is here - and which will almost certainly fall by the wayside as soon as I am parenting in real life and not in my imagination

So far this list includes:

Exclusively reusable nappies and wipes
Breast feeding for at least a year

No dummies
No YouTube
No mismatched clothes
No baby food from jars or pouches

I thought it might be funny to check back on this thread in a year or so and see how quickly my good resolutions crumbled in the face of reality...

So AIBU to ask what your golden rules were before you had your kids, and whether they lasted once your kids were actually born?

The only rule I had was wash your hands...Too pragmatatic to care about anything else

That’s a very sensible attitude which I should try very hard to channel!

I’ve recently given in on the ‘no youtube’ rule (no tv went at the start of lockdown!!) we’ve had a couple of tricky car journeys and giving the toddler my phone makes her quiet!

Breastfeeding, no dummies, only homemade baby food (actually stuck to those)

Reusable nappies only (lasted until weaning then I couldnt cope with the poos)

No TV/YouTube (lasted about 8 months then by 1 year we had a fully fledged Peppa Pig addict on our hands)

No sugar until they're 3, no cosleeping, super consistent with every rule, always perfectly dressed, no noisy plastic non-educational toys - hahahahahahahaha I wish

Oh yeah - noisy plastic toys. Kids love them!!!!

The main thing I was absolutely sure of, was that I was never, ever, ever going to bed share. I think I lasted until my husband went back to work

To be honest your list doesn’t sound unreasonable. YouTube wasn’t introduced in my house until the eldest was 5, it’s been banned 2 years later.
No mismatched clothes is your most outrageous one.

OP the “no mismatched clothes” one is hilarious! That’s exactly the sort of thing I’d have said before my first. It lasted until she got reflux and I could barely keep up with the million clothes changes, let alone care if they matched. I also said no dummy and lasted a week before I gave in, except my “little darling” didn’t want it. You have so many fun times ahead

I was 19 when I had DC1, I vowed when she got to her teens I'd be a cool mum who was ok with everything.
She's 20 now and we have a great relationship but it's safe to say I was not ok with a lot of things she wanted to do in her teenage years

I remember my sister saying her kids were only going to play with wooden toys watch no television but they could listen to classical music.
We laugh about it over the cacophony of Vtech, Peppa Pig and Baby shark!

@notso "We laugh about it over the cacophony of Vtech, Peppa Pig and Baby shark!"

Ha ha ha ha

My baby is 7 months old.

Rules I've stuck to (so far): no YouTube, breastfeeding, no dummy, homemade food (although it's only been a month)

Already broken rules: cosleeping, no sugar, extended jumperoo time, smelling her bum in public

Pre child: In their own bed from day 1 at 7pm. Thank you Gina Ford.

Reality: co sleeping and bed wheneverrrr

My DH and I couldn’t understand all of the poo talk before kids. I was very much a ‘no need to talk about that’ person.

Every day we discuss whether the toddler has pooed, and if he had, what type of poo it was.

Soft
Plug
Runny
Motherload
Poomageddon

Every day.

There's nothing wrong with setting good intentions with a realistic mindset .

I didn't want to have 'pink' girls. Alas, they have resembled piglets for much of their lives even though I tried to fight it!

It's a long time since my children were born and I can't remember, so I'll comment on yours, OP

Exclusively reusable nappies and wipes: I lasted a week when I tried reusable nappies, poor child got nappy rash for the first time ever.

Breastfeeding for at least a year: I wanted to do a year but baby weaned himself off at nine months when I was pregnant with DS2.

No dummies: yes, stuck to that one.

No YouTube: it wasn't invented then!

No mismatched clothes: in the first few months I was lucky if there was anything clean, let alone matching.

No baby food from jars or pouches: I spent ages pureeing and freezing portions, but wasn't too proud to use jars every so often.

I mean pink clothes, by the way. I didn't have a specific complexion in mind!

I love these! Educational toys only is another one I’ve considered but my very wonderful nephew has already taught me just how much small children love noisy plastic things

I had the no jars one too, and then I returned to work and discovered the joy of Ella's kitchen after a long day!

I also remember saying they would have no sweets and instead we would give grapes as a special treat and act as though they were better than sweets.

I'd try and stick with the no you tube one for as long as possible if I were you. Cbeebies is on all day if you need half an hour down time. The moment they learn they can watch what they want when they want things get harder.

No TV. I did keep that one for about 1.5 years but it all fell apart when I had a 1.5yo and a newborn to entertain!

No pink or blue clothes. As if I cared what colour the baby grow was at 2am

I’ve managed to stick to mine so far! But I didn’t make many.

No bed sharing. Didn’t need that.
Wasn’t bothered about dummies but if I did use one I’d like it gone by 12 weeks, which we managed.
No Jumperoo. It’s massive and rank and the dog will be all up in it. The kid doesn’t no what it’s missing and long may that last!

I also get them ‘properly dressed’ ie out of sleep suits every day. But I’m blessed with a minimal vommer.

I think the best rules are probably no rules except safety ones. Just go with it, don’t add stress, you’ll have that by the bucketload.

No screens. The 3 year old has her own ipad. The 2 year old can barely talk but can say "Blippi".

I appreciate this thread is lighthearted, but just to say that some of your rules will be taken out of your hands. I had to stop breastfeeding at 9 weeks when DS went on nursing strike. Devastated, I kept hand expressing for ages to try and rebuild supply. It didn’t work, and my hormones destroyed my mental health.

DS also refused all food/spoons for 6 weeks when we started weaning, after oral antibiotics put him off having anything in his mouth.

I appreciate my examples are real outliers - but just to say, don’t be surprised if things don’t end up how you plan.

So far my only really hard line is no iPhone/tablet useage at all (for DS), and we try never to use our phones around him except for video calls to relatives. He’s nearly 18 months and so far we’ve stuck at it.

You know when kids refuse to walk & the parent says ‘ok, bye!’ & starts to walk off, to get the kid to follow them? I was definitely not going to do that. Now I have two kids & I do it all the time. It works though!

I was going to put the baby down

He's nearly four and still a velcro kid 😂

Best piece of parenting advice I got "go with the flow and parent the kid you get"

No kids here yet but there are only two things I think I've ever considered.

1. No YouTube (not no tv, I just worry about YouTube)
2. Returning children to their own beds/no co sleeping.

Will report back . Expect a broken woman!

Breastfeeding - didn’t work out as I was so unwell post birth

Co-sleeping/cuddles to fall asleep - currently falling asleep in my arms & will attempt to put in crib when I know he is fully sleeping! 😂

You will do anything for an easy life & a good nights sleep!!