Minor things your other half does that make you all stabby 🙃

[ChilliOnTheWilli]

My DH is constantly asking for brews. I have never ever seen someone drink so many cups of tea and coffee in my life. His family are all the same, offering each other brews every 5 seconds. You literally put your cup down at my MILs and she's got the kettle on again.

I honestly can't take one more 'are you making a brew?' any time I look like I might be leaving the room or at the first hint of getting out of bed in the mornings. It gives me the RAGE 😂 (don't get me wrong, he makes a lot himself too). It's worse than hearing 'mum, mum, mum' for the millionth time a day.

He will even ask or get up to make one at like 11pm when we're in bed or if he's in the middle of drinking a beer in the evening.

Can I divorce my husband for making and requesting too many brews? Do your partners do anything minor that make you all stabby?

And obviously this is light-hearted, I won't actually stab him unless he asks for another brew

@Oysterbabe

He doesn't turn over in bed like a normal person, it's like the orca show at Seaworld.

That's fantastic! 😂😂😂

@WhereIsTheSaladDoris mine is exactly the same! Unbelievable amounts of burping, farting and loud sneezes. Even when he's sleeping he snores like an actual beast, and has been known to burp and fart in his sleep.

@SmellyDogBed

Blows a raspberry everytime he says the word “please” Eg . Me “do you want a coffee?” DH “yes pleastthhe!!”

That's brilliant! 😂

Couldn’t find his own feet even if they were on fire.
Comes in from work having picked up “a few bits” for the weekend, dumps said bits on kitchen worktops right where I am just about to serve up dinner. AAARGH.
Leaves two pieces of pasta in the packet, say, or 2ml of milk in the bottle and puts it back. Just fucking use it up!
Will drive at a reasonable and appropriate speed until we are half a mile from home then slow down to 17mph for no good reason other than to torture my bladder. Bastard.
Talks over telly that I’m interested in.
I should probably stab him.

Wakes me up every morning trumping
Leaves drawers and cupboards open
Leaves his towel on the floor instead of putting it to dry on the heated towel rail
A trail of clothes throughout the house
Makes an attempt to wash up then abandons it halfway
Walks past the things on the stairs which need to be put away either upstairs or downstairs
Cannot find his socks keys gym wear etc even though it is right in front of him.

Well many silly things, stupid explosive sneezes, but something he did today reminded me why we stopped doing quizzes in magazines and online. I read the question with the alternative answers. He asks again. I tell him. He thinks. He asks me a fucking gain. And again.

Fidgets incessantly in bed.
We've had the 'don't put it down, put it away' conversation more times than I care to count.
Thinks things go off exactly on the 'best before' date. I swear one day I'll find him waiting by the fridge at midnight.
Waits for the hot food to be served, THEN faffs around while said food congeals.
Parking the car at anything other than a perfect angle is unacceptable, and we will spend 10 minutes hedehogging back and forth in order to achieve this.

(I love him really. I'm sure I do stuff which annoys him too)

Leaves the cellar light on, no one notices and it stays on for days.
Leaves loo light in, not days but still annoying.
Leaves sitting room door open letting cold air in on me.
If I quietly hum a song, he starts singing it loudly and tunelessly over me.

My DH soaks dishes / pans / baking trays in cold water.

It might be hot water that turns cold. Then it gets all oily and gross.

He’s been doing it for 15 years since university! Drives me madness - just use hot water, washing liquid and scrub.

He leaves the 'top down' bottles of ketchup and mayo with the lid at the top. This means that we then waste valuable eating time shaking the bottle to get the sauce to come out and then it just sprays everywhere. It's not difficult to leave it the right way up (or in this case down!). Surely it's obvious as the label is upside down. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Say we had been talking about paying a bill for example, so for a couple of days we would be saying X amount of money needs to be paid, we are BOTH aware of the exact amount, and then when it comes to it, he'll ask.. how much was that bill?... but you can pretty much replace 'bill' with any other example, I'm not sure why but it infuriates me and I refuse to repeat how much the bill was because I know he knows, which makes him annoyed. Very unnecessary. Felt good to get it off my chest.

Opens his boxer draw, pulls out several pairs of boxers to decide which he wants to wear (are they not all the same?!) Closes the draw and puts the ones that didn't make the cut on top of the drawer.
Does the same with socks.. absolutely infuriates me.

Also, the only person in the house that manages to soak the entire bathroom when showering/bathing. The rest of us manage just fine, but when he has has been in there its like the aftermath of tidal wave at Thorpe Park!

Bites his nails .
The sound is horrendous but then I do have misophonia so pretty much any noise he makes ,makes me feel murderous like eating, snoring , whistling .. poor sod

He decides to tidy up the kitchen at 11pm when I'm going to bed, and bangs and clatters loudly enough to wake the youngest.
Snoring, most nights loud enough to wake me, then is angry if I poke him.
Moans about everything, is neagative about everything.
Farts constantly.
Shouts instead of speaking normally.
Announces everything he's done in a day.
Has to watch what he wants on TV.
I could go on and on.

He leaves kitchen cupboards open, I don't even think he realises he's done it. I've banged my head one time too many. Also leaving work shoes in the living room, makes me want to throw him out the window.

Oh and leaves bread crumbs and a the knife with butter on after making a sandwich just on the kitchen side.
He's great at tidying up after himself, but the kitchen nope and his work shoes nope.

Put things in sink instead of dishwasher.

Leave recycling on worktop. Lids off everything.

Leaves all the cupboard doors open when he is putting the clean stuff away from the dishwasher.

Leaves drawers ajar, will push them closed but not quite and then will spill something on the worktop which will run into the slightly open drawer resulting in me having to empty all the cutlery out and wash it all.

Will push the back door almost shut but not actually close it causing a draft which makes everything else slam shut and lets the neighbour's cat or the magpie in to eat our cat food.

Walks straight from the bath with wet feet and makes the carpets wet, this makes the underlay wet and the entire thing starts to stink because it is old and needs chucking out.

Faffs about with energy saving light bulbs and sets appliances on timers to save power, then leaves all the sodding lights on in every room and sits in the garden.

Loads the stuff into the dishwasher and always leaves something on the side as if it is invisible

Leaves mugs and glasses on the edge of the table and then wonders why they fall off.

When he reaches for things on the floor or bedside from the bed, he brings the mother fucking duvet with him which either yanks me too or lifts it fucking off me. Like WTF!!!! I never reach for things without lifting the duvet slightly so it stays on him as I move.

Fucking duvet tugger!!!

My ex would NEVER close a kitchen cabinet once he'd opened it. Every time you walked in there it looked like that scene from the sixth sense. Used to drive me mental

He taps all the other food on his plate with the end of his fork while he's chewing.

1. Puts the butter in the microwave to soften it every day. Its now disgusting looking butter soup...

1. Eats loudly, and lately has started talking with his mouth full - or when he hasn't cleared his throat so every fucking world is like he's gargling it through a full throat. Argh. Stabby.

1. Is a stupid drunk. Seriously drinking turns him into the town idiot. He cannot do anything from open a door to get into bed. It's the strangest thing and yet neither interesting or funny!

1. Cannot handle perceived criticism. If I ask him not to talk with his mouth full, for example, hr will get really defensive amd then act like I've stolen all his Christmases. All night!

Honestly there are more ... But he is also so amazing and I am so awful in so many ways, so I try not to stab him with a fork and he does the same... Sometimes though I do fantisize about sending him to play in traffic when he's drunk because he would do it. He once tried to go to sleep in the middle of a road - nothing to do with me, honest

God. There's no point in leaving one to get another.... they're all the same!!. I remember that quote: 'Women have many faults -, men have only two- : everything they say, and everything they do. 😁😁😁