Minor things your other half does that make you all stabby 🙃

[ChilliOnTheWilli]

My DH is constantly asking for brews. I have never ever seen someone drink so many cups of tea and coffee in my life. His family are all the same, offering each other brews every 5 seconds. You literally put your cup down at my MILs and she's got the kettle on again.

I honestly can't take one more 'are you making a brew?' any time I look like I might be leaving the room or at the first hint of getting out of bed in the mornings. It gives me the RAGE 😂 (don't get me wrong, he makes a lot himself too). It's worse than hearing 'mum, mum, mum' for the millionth time a day.

He will even ask or get up to make one at like 11pm when we're in bed or if he's in the middle of drinking a beer in the evening.

Can I divorce my husband for making and requesting too many brews? Do your partners do anything minor that make you all stabby?

And obviously this is light-hearted, I won't actually stab him unless he asks for another brew

Failing to close the fucking windows properly, he leaves the handle 'up' after pulling the window in, just push the handle down it's not fucking hard is it.

Putting non-recycling in the recycling bin.

Never emptying the sink of it's dirty water after washing up. Using at least half a bottle of WU liquid per wash, and he fills a sink on a 3 plate minimum.

Putting empty food boxes/containers back in the cupboard or fridge. Why though.

Stepping over crap he doesn't see. He knocked over a broom the other day, it was leaning against the wall post brooming, and he proceeded to step over it. Said he didn't see it. It fucking crashed to the sodding floor!

Announcing his daily dollops.

Leaving his back hair fallout in the bath. Never thinks to rinse.

Calls me randomly to chat, both of us working at our respective jobs. He gets pissy because shocker I am busy and have not time for chit chat.

Starts cooking all items of the meal at the same time. A 10 minute steak will be started around the same time as he puts the jacket spuds in the oven. Ffs.

Tea slurping
Throwing socks/undies at washbin. It has a lid 😠
Duvet stealing.

I’m a single parent but feel a bit stabby at times when my daughter does the following, doesn’t scrape her plate if she has food left after eating, and also does the leave something sticking out of a draw so it doesn’t close properly, oh and kicks her shoes off and leaves them wherever they land. Sorry for the intrusion but it was good to get it out, I’ll shut the door on the way out

He just CANNOT pull curtains nicely. He either pulls them so they're overlapping ('to keep the heat in'), or does this weird thing of pulling the outer edge of the curtain slightly over whatever happens to be close by (e.g. item of furniture). Frequently both. They never, ever look nice (or even OK) when he's pulled them.

Oh, and tilting the shades of table lamps to shine more light on his book. This is a new one and drives me crackers, might have to get him an Anglepoise or something similar...

Does not understand after years what can and can't go in the dryer so pegs it all out, I then have to bring it in - endless game of cat and mouse washing

My ex snores very loudly, like a pig. He's also used to get irate with other drivers whilst I was driving. In the end I told him to either stfu or I would never ever drive with gmail in the car again.

If I don't immediately acknowledge his complaints about how Shit The World and The People In It Are and foolishly suggest there may be reasons or motivations behind people's actions that may go some way into understanding their annoying nature, he goes off on one about how OBVIOUSLY everything's fucking lovely and there isn't any problem, so he'll just zip it (complete with zipping action and refusing to speak, which is the bit that really makes me eye up the magnetic knife rack)

I have been known to point out that I assume that he isn't just being a surly prick all the fucking time and if he'd rather, I'll stop giving him the benefit of the fucking doubt and he can find out what it feels like from the other side for a fucking change.

Oh, and the way he expects me to tell him precisely what's in the shop to buy without actually being there. I'm sorry, I forgot to engage my psychic powers to see what brand bread is left on the shelf at 9.45pm. Can you not just buy some fucking bread?

His stabby complaints would probably be that I never accept that People Are All Cunts and I make up excuses for them rather than accepting what he says at face value and I don't tell him exactly what to buy at the shop, saying stupidly broad categories as 'bread' and then look pissed off when he comes back with custard creams, as they've clearly got flour in them, so they're exactly the same as bread, right?

If it's nearly a meal time and I go in the kitchen then he immediately starts asking if it's done yet and appears directly behind me like a great lolloping Great Dane ... he even does the puppy eyes when I say no 🙄 good job I love him otherwise I'd have to whack him !

He fidgets his feet. There is always a slight movement to his feet. We’ll be sat with our feet up on the buffetpuffet and he just wiggle waggles them. Drives me potty.
It’s a good job he’s cute and lovely.

Grand Theft Duvet.
Leaving recycling on the draining board - there's a basket under the sink to put it in.
Not hanging the bathmat up to dry when he's had a shower - especially in winter when it would dry on the radiator.
Closing every window just after I've opened them.
Driving too slowly.
Taking 20mins to get out of the house when I'm already at the door.
Eating biscuits dunking ginger nuts just before his main meal, then complains I've cooked too much.🤷🏻‍♀️

Instead of screwing the lid of the plastic honey tub back on, he gently pops the lid on top and then BAM! Smashes it shut. Pisses me off to no end.

Announcing his daily dollops
I'm a little afraid to ask but what does this mean?

Mine talks about Brexit constantly, we don't live in the UK and probably never will but he's obsessed with it.

He leaves packets open in the cupboard. Biscuits, big bags of crisps, chocolate etc. They go stale but he insists he doesn't notice!! Drives me mad.

I get the rage when my fella sneezes, one sneeze ok, second one I'm already looking at him, third, I'm like for god sake get your shit together, I don't know why it bothers me so much but it does, he sneezes all the time too.
Also he eats quite loudly, even non loud food, I'm sure if I offed him in the future a judge would let me go free for it, winds me up so much!

If I have chocolate or biscuits or whatever that is just mine (so if I’ve been given a box as a present or a we both bought a bar of chocolate but I’ve not started/finished mine yet and he has) and he wants some he’ll say ‘shall I have one of these chocolates?’ Or ‘shall I try a biscuit’ in a tone that implies him doing so would be doing me a great favour.

Then word you’re looking for is may or can - ‘please may I have one of your chocolates Alias because I’m a greedy swine who ate all mine before we left the supermarket car park’ or ‘can I please pinch one of your biscuits before I start offering them to you like I’m the one being generous?’

But no, it’s always ‘shall I’ and it drives me mad.

There’s lots but that will do for today.

Instead of wearing his hearing aids when he answers the phone, he switches it to speaker and clamps it over his ear. The result is that the whole household has to listen to his long phone conversations- both sides of them! And Mr Carpet likes a chat. An hour of him chuntering on about concrete/boats/farm implements he has known and loved is enough for me to start planning my new patio. I've bought an old-fashioned phone with no speaker function, but I don't quite dare start that argument. Yet.

@ClementineWoolysocks he tells everyone when he's dropping the kids off aka taking a dump. His dollops.

Takes his shoes off in front of my side of the wardrobe and leaves them there so I can’t open my side of the wardrobe. FFS

Doesn’t dry his hands after washing them, so they door handles are all dripping wet.

Mines been off work for nearly 2 weeks so the list is long.

1. Uses excessive amounts of lurpak. Wonder how he's not dead from cholesterol poisoning. 1/3 of a lurpak tub last weekend alone.

1. Announces and lists everything he's done like he wants some recognition for doing day to day adult shit.

1. Buys and uses an excessive amount of toilet duck. But not bleach. So I have fragrant smelling, purple tinged skidders round the pan.

1. Doesn't trust the dishwasher but obviously doesn't fucking trust fairy washing up liquid either despite using a dollop to soak scuzzy dishes in cold water in all of the fucking day.

1. Moans everytime he comes home. He's getting more and more like Victor Meldrew. I need to stop this shit now.

6 fucking breathes?

Also, the announcement of his daily medication. He always says "Oh, I have to go and take my MEDICATION now" as if it's news of international importance. I'm not sure he knows the tablets will still work if he doesn't make the announcement.

Insists on an empty kitchen when he is creating cooking but if I'm making a meal comes in and stands in our tiny kitchen chatting! Grrrrr

Leaves a deluge of water wherever he goes, I'm always stepping in it if he's done the dishes or wet his hair in the morning. Incapable of wringing out a kitchen cloth or emptying the water from washing up bowl. Uses lukewarm water to wash dishes leaving them greasy as. So leaves a trail of crumbs wherever he goes in case he can't find his way back to the kitchen or something... Won't floss teeth, use mouthwash, deodorant or shampoo!! Other than that, he's alreet.

Mine surprised me by making me a coffee this evening. After id picked my jaw up off the floor to drink it I found out it was a black coffee with ginger in it. WTF? Never drank black coffee nevermind with ginger in for the whole 17 years we've been married. Got up and made myself a coffee with milk and 2 sugars. Just how I've always drank it.

Excessively loud sneezing. Like thunderously loud. Apparently it hurts him to sneeze quietly. Knobhead.