Minor things your other half does that make you all stabby 🙃

[ChilliOnTheWilli]

My DH is constantly asking for brews. I have never ever seen someone drink so many cups of tea and coffee in my life. His family are all the same, offering each other brews every 5 seconds. You literally put your cup down at my MILs and she's got the kettle on again.

I honestly can't take one more 'are you making a brew?' any time I look like I might be leaving the room or at the first hint of getting out of bed in the mornings. It gives me the RAGE 😂 (don't get me wrong, he makes a lot himself too). It's worse than hearing 'mum, mum, mum' for the millionth time a day.

He will even ask or get up to make one at like 11pm when we're in bed or if he's in the middle of drinking a beer in the evening.

Can I divorce my husband for making and requesting too many brews? Do your partners do anything minor that make you all stabby?

And obviously this is light-hearted, I won't actually stab him unless he asks for another brew

Always has about 6 fucking bath towels on the go a week, leaves them over doors, bannisters and the most standby one, has 4 draped over the heated towel rail on the top floor. When the heating kicks in later this week that towel rail will just heat dry towels but not the bathroom.

He also uses DSD's bath towel which I've now started to hide and recently graduated to the dog towels which are in the airing cupboard. So now we also have battered old towels draped all over the house.

Says he's cleaned as if I should drop to my knees in gratitude, the reality is that he's run the hoover round the floors, not dusted or polished, swilled a bit of water round the bath and sprayed the room with air freshener.

Starts to cook everything at the same time. So a pie goes in the oven at the same time he puts the broccoli on to boil. Also raids the spice cupboard for every fucking thing he cooks as if he's some sort of creative genius despite my plea to just trust Lloyd Grossman that his stroganoff sauce doesn't need anything added to it, ever, especially not mixed herbs and garlic salt.

Never, ever managed to wash anything up effectively. It always needs washing up again by me. (Pretty sure this is just a man tactic to not have to do it often. )

Puts his porridge tuppaware (often works early shifts) in the sink with the lid on, without emptying it. Often he does the washing up so it’s not a problem. When I’m doing the washing up it gives me extreme rage.

Leaves the bathroom door open at 4.30 when he's getting ready for work, the noise of the water wakes me and then the light is shining on me, that's me awake for the day. Then tries talking to me. At 4.30 I don't want to be awake, let alone talking.

I forgot, comes back from every local top up shop with 10p carrier bags. Despite me regularly sending him to the car with at least 20 new ones I've found for him to store in his boot, even better, he'll dump the new ones from each trip in the study despite the fact that they live in the understated cupboard until I have enough to give back to him to put IN HIS BOOT FOR NEXT TIME HE GOES TO THR SHOPS.

When I've done everything nearly and he says can I do anything to help

Mine does so many already on here, I won't bore everyone with repeating them.

However, he's King of the Afterthought - as in "I wouldn't have gone that way" after I'm driving and turn onto a road that is closed due to road works, that weren't obvious until I turned onto that road. He now gets the stabby look if he even tries to start a conversation like that..

Also he's a faffer - when the kids were little, I'd get them ready, baby bag packed with essentials & snacks etc, pram loaded in the car, along with the 2 of them and me - all waiting while all he had to do was pull up a pair of pants and pull a t-shirt over his head - EVERY FUCKING TIME. Now we're older, he still faffs and I'm in the car waiting, he gets in the car and then says he's forgotten something and has to get out of the car and go back inside - EVERY FUCKING TIME.

Mine talks really loud on a morning during my quiet time. Always directed at me and usually about either football or rugby. He gets on a right rant and gets really animated whilst talking about players and managers and looking incredulous when I say I don't have a fucking clue who he is on about. Seriously man just leave me in peace with my coffee until I wake up properly!!!

He licks his finger to get the dust out of his eyes in the morning: lick, dab, lick, dab. Vom.

He chews the skin round his finger nails when we watch TV. I have asked him to stop as it makes me so angry I can't concentrate but he still does it. He thinks I can't see him doing it, but I can. And I can hear it too.

He also puts any skin he picks off his head into his mouth.

And sniffs his hand after putting it down his PJ bottoms to "rearrange".

I have noticed all of this apart from the eye dust thing since lockdown and am left wondering what kind of animal I am married to.

-Gets up in the morning and doesn’t make the Bed or open any blinds or curtains in the house, I come home from work and feel like I’ve walked into Dracula’s lair 😂

• never puts his keys on the key hook. So he spendS a good 15 mins before he goes out frantically searching for keys 🙄 just use the fucking hook!

Getting ready to leave the house. I’ll have the kids ready, I’ll be holding everything we need to take...and he’ll announce that he needs the loo. Every time!

I have another.
Me and DS get up early, have breakfast then get in the shower. He is in bed for the whole time and then gets into the shower as we are about to go upstairs(he can hear us coming). He knows our timings. WHY can't he just get up 10 mins earlier.
Doesn't rinse bath after him gardening/biking so the bath is brown and gritty, then asks me to run the next bath so I have to clean it. If you don't want to wait while it empties - do it the next time you are in there cleaning your teeth. I used to do it but have stopped.
Talks with his mouth full. Even when we have guests!!

Holding chocolate ice creams (Magnums etc) by the chocolate end and not the stick

What?!?

Is a last minute planner/packer/buyer

Yep I have one of these. I usually remind him a few times that it's X in two weeks, only 1 week now, DH you have 3 days until X and then come the day before or day of he'll be running round all stressed and grumpy trying to sort whatever it is.

He's the guy you seen running round the Trafford Centre on Christmas Eve.

Using a fork like a shovel.
Smoking in the car (yes I can tell you numpty).
But the worst is buying a block of Clover and a tub of Elmlea when I have clearly put BUTTER and CREAM on the shopping list.

Leaving coats and sweaters on kitchen surfaces.
Disappearing to the loo or to fetch something or just plain disappearing when I call and say tea is ready
Crunching loudly. I don't understand his mouth acoustics. It would help if his mouth was closed before the first crunch. AND he eats toast every morning

Mine very rarely annoys me, save for two very minor annoyances:

1. When I am getting ready in the morning, particularly when sitting at my dressing table found my makeup, he will sometimes just hover in my vicinity for no obvious reason. He isn’t asking me anything or wanting anything, he’s just standing around where I am. It drives me mad! I hate to feel watched.

1. I take longer than him to get ready for things, but every time without fail he will wait for me to come down fully ready to go before he finds and puts on his shoes / coat / wallet / car keys etc. It tacks five minutes on to the end of our morning routine, usually while I’m overheating to death in my coat. I’ve started giving him a five minute warning but he usually still waits til I’m downstairs to find anything. This one has been mitigated a lot by lockdown though, because now we never go anywhere...

Watches the most boring stuff on tv - fixing up cars, digging for gold, climbing mountains and reruns of The Office - and talks to me about it

Are you married to my DH?

He watches YouTube videos in bed of the most boring stuff. Things like a guy talking in a completely monotone voice about the different settings on some metal working machine or a documentary on canal boats.

He insists on using a cordless vacuum (which emits a high drill like pitch sound) near me usually when I am trying to speak on a work conference call. I have asked him to refrain until I am out of the house! 😯

If it's my morning with the little one when he comes down he's so fucking loud after I've been all nice and quiet for him, I don't know why it annoys me so much as it's cute because he's playing (roughly) with our little boy but the noise just gets on my nerves and ruins my zen!

Likewise if he gets up with him when I come down all knackered and just want to make a brew the noise from those two makes me want to bury them both!!

If there is a cupboard, drawer or wardrobe door to be left open, he will do it. Grinds my gears. Am thinking of hiring a hit man.

If we are both puttering around doing housework I must stop my job that help him.

So I make the kids lunches whilst he washes up - I must stop to dry up because he's run out of room. I wipe down the kitchen whilst he has a big load of washing to hang out, can I just give him a hand.

The thing is he does loads more housework than me so it's not trying to get out of it. If I were hanging out the washing he'd come and help me but after he's finished his job like a normal person.

I have pointed this out to him many many times. Have said no when he says 'can you just .....'. But it's like a disease with him.

Op Re late planning etc. Heaven forbid a few months before a mega holiday I would even dream of saying something like ‘just checking your passport is ok - doesn’t need renewing or anything does it ?’ Or being astounded that the day before some mega holiday there is frantic searching for said passport which hasn’t been seen ‘for some time and I’m not really sure where it is’.
Grrr

My DP leaves a tiny spillage of water on the worktop when he makes a coffee EVERY morning and never wipes it up. JUST WHY?!

And many of the other points said above like leaving all cupboards and drawers open (including leaving the dishwasher wide open) so I walk round the kitchen like its an assault course!

And @funtimefrank why must they be assisted with every task, even when we are clearly not just sat doing nothing!

Obsessed with sweeping the kitchen and leaves the tiny pile of dust next to the bin. Every. Single. Time.

OH GOD! i have one of those. It drives me crazy. I try to see how long i can last and how big it gets (but i suspect one of my DC intervenes before it takes over the house)

Leaves cupboards and drawers open.
holds knife like pen stab stab stabbity stab

My DH always leaves his wet towel in the bedroom for me to hang back up on the towel warmer. He is a company director and manages staff etc but obviously hanging a wet towel back up is just too much responsibility. Gives me the fucking rage.

Has a 20+ minute poo whenever a chore needs doing or we need to leave the house. Yet NEVER factors this into his time planning for getting ready.

Similarly, only ever calculates time for him to get ready, leaving me to sort myself and two DC (under 4 so need dressing etc), pack bags etc. Then swans down and says "We really should be in the car already."