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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be utterly sick of the new normal?

103 replies

UtterlyDone · 22/09/2020 17:21

I will do as I am told; wear my mask, follow the one way systems, queue up, but I am utterly fed up.

Sick of no hot meals at school meaning 3 nights a week I’m trying to cram a hot meal into my overtired 6 year old at the time she ought to be in bed (she goes to asc and usually she’d have a hot meal at school those days and then take a packed lunch to eat at ASC – school are not allowing anything from home to go in so no packed lunch and they only get a sandwich or wrap plus a piece of fruit to survive on until we get home around 6.15pm it’s completely unfair on DD as she’s used to bath teeth story and bed by 7.15pm)

Sick of swimming lessons, not allowed into change until 5 minutes before the lesson and have to be queued up 1 minute before the lesson starts so having about 2 minutes to get DD changed and in the queue to start. And only have 10 minutes after the lesson to change when it can take that to find a cubicle to change in.

No books, or spellings or homework coming out of school so no idea how my DDs doing at school or how I can help. Yes there’s online resources but I’d usually do 10-15 minutes homework with her a few times a week and then find some online resources to use if she’s struggling in a particular area.

Queuing to get into school in the morning, in the rain and then queuing again to pick her up.

Sick of spending my days off cooking so that the days I’m working I can focus on work and just bung something in the microwave (see above point about when DD should be in bed).

I am sick of having to buy socks all the time as even though they don’t remove shoes DD comes out of school covered in god knows what, and it’s always her socks.

I am sick of wearing a mask when in the office.

I just want something to give me a break. I am utterly exhausted.

Feel free to slate me for this. I am done. Don’t tell me to get signed off sick from work because that’s what keeps a roof over my DDs head and food in her belly. I am tempted to withdraw her from swimming though, but the amount of children in her lesson has dropped from 10 to 4 so I’m worried about the leisure centre being there when I want her to have lessons again.

OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 22/09/2020 18:52

When all the trivial stuff is ovewhelming, it makes the big stuff harder to deal with too.

We had swimming night last night. DS(7) swims at 4... DS (9) swims at 5:30. It's 7pm before DS2 gets a post-swim shower Confused plus it's just more faff having to strip them and deal with them all over again. The pool won't let DS1 use the disabled changing rooms (autism and dyspraxia) and by that time of the day he needs supervision or practical support and we can't necessarily get into a family cubical, so we can't shut the door on an individual cubical and give him the privacy that his age group should have. Last night there was a meltdown where he managed to pull off an amazing hacking cough through getting upset and snotty. One episode during a meltdown is not Covid test territory, but it's really not cool in a public place where the sound carries.
I fell asleep for the night by 9pm!

It's tough. There's just no escape. Go out? Masks. Has to be planned. Watch the one way system. Hazard tape everywhere. Stay in and it's in your face on every advert break. Even reading Harry Potter for escapism is near the knuckle as it feels like Umbridge is running real life!

Hugs for anyone who needs them and just a good vent.

Moomin12345 · 22/09/2020 19:01

Fair enough, you can feel sick and I can see why, but get used to it. In reality there is unlikely to be a widely available vaccine before winter 2021. And that's not guaranteed.

TheSunIsStillShining · 22/09/2020 19:06
Mulberry974 · 22/09/2020 19:10

I'm rather fed up of it all too and I don't even had the added complications of children. We all need to gives ourselves a break right now and not overdo it. Big hugs to all those struggling 🤗

Ghostlyglow · 22/09/2020 19:17

YANBU. And it is not normal, not new normal, not any normal.

LindaEllen · 22/09/2020 19:25

I've had enough as well.

Do you have a slow cooker? There are lots of things you could prep the night before and then just turn it on in the morning - that way it'd be ready to plate up by the time DD got home.

Casseroles are so easy and can be varied depending on the meat/veg you use. Also things like soups can be really nice!

GameSetMatch · 22/09/2020 19:29

Our swimming lessons still haven’t started back up but I’m still paying £60 per month to keep the spots open 🙄

I hear upyou with the school thing, I haven’t met my sons teacher yet either, he’s coming home with super easy spellings and homework, I feel he’s not learning anything. Plus his new teacher has started giving prizes out each day but it’s become a positive punishment for some of the kids now as it seems only disruptive pupils get prizes 🤔

I loved lockdown but I’m well and truly fed up with the partial lockdown, and with the winter coming it’s going to get worse.

FreshFreesias · 22/09/2020 19:34

YANBU. The whole thing is a massive over reaction.

YouBringLightInToADarkPlace · 22/09/2020 19:38

I totally agree OP, I'm due DS#2 in a matter of weeks and I'm so sad that this joyless, connectionless world is what I'm bringing him into...

Sexnotgender · 22/09/2020 19:47

YANBU, it’s all a massive pile of shit and I’m utterly fed up too.

My only saving grace is my toddler FINALLY went back to nursery last week. 6 whole bloody months of WFH full time with a rampaging toddler, I feel like I’ve aged 10 years.

AllWashedOut · 22/09/2020 19:48

It's a pile of shit at the moment and most of it unnecessary which is the worst of all. People are not getting infected in supermarkets but must wear masks. People are not getting infected in pubs yet pubs have born the brunt of restrictions and now have the 10pm curfew to contend with. People are not getting infected in hospitality, sports or educational setting yet restrictions are still draconian. None of it makes sense. COVID is spread in community settings where people are mixing freely in an unstructured way for a period of time, so yes, restrict parties, weddings, congregations and so on. Otherwise, let us get on with our lives. Any highly vulnerable people should protect themselves.

Original poster
UtterlyDone · 22/09/2020 19:49

I have a slow cooker and I do use it but I'm anxious about leaving anything like that on or the oven while I'm out, I know i'm just making more work for myself but I just can't do it. I will try the trick with cooking and leaving it off all day though that sounds great.

OP posts:
Greypurse · 22/09/2020 19:54

YANBU it is all soooo shite!

Tara336 · 22/09/2020 20:03

YANBU it’s affecting us all one way or another. I haven’t seen my medical team face to face since before Christmas, all appointments cancelled and not receiving treatment for chronic illness that’s beginning to progress due to lack of care. We have fought and succeeded to keep our business going but another lock down will destroy it, I tried to remain positive throughout lock down and keep DP upbeat as he was so despondent. When I see people saying they will ignore the new restrictions or as I saw the other day someone requesting a sunflower lanyard because they are sick of masks (this is not what the lanyard is for) I just want to scream you selfish selfish sods this why the rest of us are going through this crap again

Jennygentle · 22/09/2020 20:12

Agree. I’ve been signed off with anxiety for the first time ever (I’m 50). It’s just crushing.

AllWashedOut · 22/09/2020 20:14

@Tara336 I just want to scream you selfish selfish sods this why the rest of us are going through this crap again

Not so. Mask compliance has been very high but wearing them in supermarkets would not affect transmission rates because these places are not risky placed for picking up covid. People were packed like sardines in the South West where social distancing and lack of masks were covered heavily in the media over the summer, yet no increase in transmission in these regions. Masks have not prevented flu being transmitted. I don't think mask wearing has had much discernable influence on covid transmission. It's all hygiene theatre.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 22/09/2020 20:20

The hot meal thing. Have you tried a slow cooker? Put it on on the morning before you leave for work and when you get home it will be ready and piping hot! You won't need to plaster around with cooking and so she'll get her tea at a decent time.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 22/09/2020 20:22

Sorry I just read someone had already suggested the slow cooker. Don't be anxious about leaving it on all the time, it's fine and will be much less work and stress for you!

HugeAckmansWife · 22/09/2020 20:24

OP I get that you're venting and totally understand why but you are also catastrophising a bit. Order socks on Amazon. Use the fleecy onsie idea. Read any book at home with her, it doesnt have to be the school ones, and make games out of spellings at the weekend.. Get some magnetic letters for the fridge. Take a breath.

checkedcloth · 22/09/2020 20:26

I hear you and totally agree OP. It’s just all so difficult and joyless.

I’m also a front line NHS nurse and on top of all the domestic stuff I cannot believe I am facing another round of this pandemic. I’m utterly exhausted and burnt out.

More importantly this bloody virus is making me fall out of love with my profession. That breaks my heart.

Zenithbear · 22/09/2020 20:31

Yanbu. Our lives have been made so tedious. We had a very nice, busy social life and always on holiday. Two weddings cancelled, three holidays and so many events. I hate having to food shop now, work has been turned upside down. We went shopping for dps dcs birthday pressies and it was such a chore whereas we normally love doing that sort of thing. I am grateful that I can see my grown up dc at least. Only the weather is on our side this year.

Tara336 · 22/09/2020 20:33

@AllWashedOut it’s not about the transmission re lanyards, my frustration is they were bought in to identify people with hidden disabilities, I wear my lanyard because I do need help sometimes, I’m now having shop workers saying if you have the lanyard you don’t need to wear a mask which is not necessarily the case or what it’s for. Healthy people are taking lanyards they don’t need using them in the wrong way to avoid wearing masks and people with hidden disabilities are struggling to obtain the lanyards and the help they need because of the misuse

Fuzzyspringroll · 22/09/2020 20:40

That sounds really annoying. It's unfortunate that everything seems to have been made so difficult for you. It won't last forever, though,...

We have hot meals at school. Lunches are staggered and there's no salad bar but the kids can still choose between meat/fish and veggie options. What's the reason your school cannot provide a hot lunch?

We do swimming at a small hotel pool and there are no huge restrictions. Masks in communal areas but that's about it.

Our school generally doesn't set homework at KS1. I really wouldn't worry at that age. Especially if children come home so late, I wouldn't want any of mine still sitting there doing homework. I've got Year 1 this year and it takes a lot of time reassuring parents that I will speak to them if there's an issue. If I don't contact them, then there's nothing to worry about. However, we had parents' evening via Zoom and I still see and speak to most parents at pickup in the afternoon. Is there no option of having any contact with the teacher?

Why do you have to wear a mask at the office? We only have to wear masks in communal areas around school. When we still had to wear one while teaching, a visor was a much better option and quite ok to wear for most of the day. Haven't had to do that since well before the summer holidays, though.

AllWashedOut · 22/09/2020 20:43

@Tara336 Apologies, I misunderstood. Yet another crap consequence of covid rules and I can see your frustration.

Original poster
UtterlyDone · 22/09/2020 20:49

@Fuzzyspringroll

That sounds really annoying. It's unfortunate that everything seems to have been made so difficult for you. It won't last forever, though,...

We have hot meals at school. Lunches are staggered and there's no salad bar but the kids can still choose between meat/fish and veggie options. What's the reason your school cannot provide a hot lunch?

We do swimming at a small hotel pool and there are no huge restrictions. Masks in communal areas but that's about it.

Our school generally doesn't set homework at KS1. I really wouldn't worry at that age. Especially if children come home so late, I wouldn't want any of mine still sitting there doing homework. I've got Year 1 this year and it takes a lot of time reassuring parents that I will speak to them if there's an issue. If I don't contact them, then there's nothing to worry about. However, we had parents' evening via Zoom and I still see and speak to most parents at pickup in the afternoon. Is there no option of having any contact with the teacher?

Why do you have to wear a mask at the office? We only have to wear masks in communal areas around school. When we still had to wear one while teaching, a visor was a much better option and quite ok to wear for most of the day. Haven't had to do that since well before the summer holidays, though.

School haven’t given a reason for no hot meals they’ve just said the decision is being reviewed regularly with the hope they’ll restart soon.

I have to wear a mask in the office because my office is open to the public and they can come and go without giving my job away I work with vulnerable people some of whom are likely to be asymptomatic (sp?)

No contact at all with the teacher, all emails go through the school office and I don’t even know if they get sent to the teacher. All parents evenings have been suspended until after Christmas but no date given as it’s under review, I suspect we won’t have one at all this year so no, no face to face contact with the teacher, I don’t even know what she looks like.

OP posts: