To think it's rude to grade women on attractiveness like this?

[dairymilklover]

Is it rude to tell a woman another woman is more attractive than her?

A new woman has just started in my office. A man said to me 'you don't need to worry about any men chatting to you when she is around, you'll be left alone now'

I don't want attention, and I am no fool who thinks I'm the best looking woman around. I like a chat with colleagues, nothing more. But I don't like to be compared to other women - I don't compare myself so I hate it when others do it. I never look at a woman and think I'm more or less attractive than her, it's damaging to do so after I suffered self esteem issues my whole life.
It also seems very sexist and the insinuation is that men will only chat to women because they're attractive - as if nothing else matters. Maybe I am overacting but the comment has offended me on many levels. Do I need to get over myself?

I would never speak to that man again. Cut him dead, he is a maggot.

Of course it's rude! Did he say it in a 'jokey' way?

I did say 'thanks for the subtle insult' and I think it embarrassed him, but I wasn't quick witted enough to say anything else.

Of course it’s rude

I'd have a word with the manager, I wouldn't let it pass. Women don't have to put up with this shit anymore.

It wasn't a joke, he didn't realise he had said something offensive until I pointed it out.

You didn't have to be quick witted, you should have explained what was wrong with what he said. He reduced you to your fuck ability in what should be a equal professional environment.

What a disgusting man I'm sorry gits like him still exist and women have to share space with him !

Your reply was perfect, it was an insult and he should have been embarrassed.

I would speak to HR about it as it sounds like they could use some refresher training on how to treat female colleagues.

Of course he knew it was offensive he just didn't care enough to not say it !

He's an ignorant arsehole. No way do you say something like that without deliberately wanting to out someone down.

put

When I was younger a colleague told me he had listed all the women in the office into a 'women I'd do' and 'women I wouldn't do'. When I told him it was horrible he was genuinely baffled and kept saying 'but you're on the to do list, all the men agree'. As if that made it ok.

Such an insight into the male mind that he thought I would be pleased.

I agree go to the manager. You were insulted. That’s abuse. You don’t go to work to put up with that shit!!!

@dairymilklover

It wasn't a joke, he didn't realise he had said something offensive until I pointed it out.

He didn't realise? Is he a special hire?

How does the prick know you don’t have dysmorphia or something.

A poster on a previous thread nailed this one, OP.

'Fortunately women aren't in this world to decorate it for wankers like him!'

What a twat. And don't they always intend bullying, derisive behaviour as a 'joke?'

Cross-posted with a few people. Of course he realised he was being offensive.

Ugh, what a revolting imbecile.

How old is he? It's not ok at any age but if he's early twenties he may well grow out of it, and cringe himself to death when he remembers it in later years once he matures.

Oblivious twat. On a conference once my male colleague said to me 'I'm glad you sat between me and Natalie tonight, she's really pretty, I don't want to get into trouble!'

Gee thanks. Rude and sexist in one go.

He's in his 50s so old enough to know better

Thanks for the replies - I've spent the day wondering if I'm vain to be insulted by this, but for me I'm mainly upset because I don't like to be compared to have people remark on like this

Not vain at all, rude and irrelevant of him. Yanbu

He was offensive - it is a workplace, not a Miss World competition. Your looks and those of your new colleague are irrelevant - he was totally unprofessional.

Your reply was good. It's not the 1970s any more.

Lucky you not being chatted to anymore if that's the kind of chat you have to put up with. He's a dick.